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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

WIBU? 3 yo and bottle or 9yo with teddies

87 replies

CadleCrap · 31/12/2013 12:39

My DD is about to turn 3.

She drinks from a cup normally but at bed time she has a bath, a bottle (ie baby bottle with teat) of cow's milk, brushes teeth, story, then bed.

DD has no other comforter/cuddly toy she is attached to.

My DSis says DD is too old for a bottle, but her 9 yo twin boys cannot go to bed with out their favorite teddies.

Why is DD too old for a bottle? Who says? It is one a day and teeth are brushed afterward.

DSis says about the teddies, they like their comfort.

What is the difference between a bottle as comfort or a teddy and wibu?

OP posts:

Gileswithachainsaw · 31/12/2013 15:55

We'll obviously they could do without but there's no denying that at least BM will be of benefit to the child whatever the age and adapts with the child.

ilovesmurfs · 31/12/2013 15:56

Bollocks Giles I have done both and whislt nutritionally it doesn't compare tje comfort from sitting amd hacign a cuddle and a bottle of milk as part of bedtoek rputine is very simial to bfeeding.

Ds2 and ds3 both bfed until almost four years old, ds4 and dd ended up bottle fed, but those feeds with a bottle were the same!w comfort wise, snuggled up, cosy and close with me, it was relaxing and comforting for both of us, just like a bfeed was. And an important part of the routine of bedtime etc.

One bottle at bedime is not going to ruin a child's teeth or jaw and teeth alignment.

Ds4 gave it up when we went on holiday when he was 3.4urs.

Dd is just three and has 5oz of formula, whilst having a cuddle before bed, she will give it up when she is ready.

Just like my elder boys gave up bfeeding when they were ready and ds4 gave up his bottle when he was ready to.

SaucyJack · 31/12/2013 15:59

saucy would you say it was strange to have a breastfeed before bed at three?

Yeah, I would've found that a strange thing to do at 3 as well if I'm honest.

Both of mine were well over the baby stage by the age of 3. They drank out of normal cups, used the toilet, walked, yadda yadda. As I say tho, each to their own.

NothinToSeeHere · 31/12/2013 16:12

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Gileswithachainsaw · 31/12/2013 16:20

Well I wouldn't bf til ten even if I had of bf. But even as a ff I can appreciate that even in older kids it has a proven benefit so can see perhaps why people would continue and expressing would just be a hassle.

But I do think bottles are for babies and you can cuddle them with a cup. So that's where it is different to me. And because follow on formula is a con. And because cows milk is a seriously overrated product and I don't feel asda any real benefit to a child of that age who eats food .

Twattyzombiebollocks · 31/12/2013 16:21

I don't think a bottle of milk at night before bed at 3 is a big issue tbh. My middle daughter was still very much enjoying a bottle of milk before bed at that age. She finally gave it up when she said she didn't want to wear nappies at night any more but big girl pants. Because she was old enough to reason with I was able to tell her that a big drink of milk before bed would make it hard for her to not wee in her sleep (no idea whether that's the case or not but it seemed logical at the time) so she had her milk at tea time from a cup then a small drink of water before bed and wore pants from that night onwards.

sykadelic15 · 31/12/2013 16:22

CadleCrap Re your follow-up question as to whether cup vs bottle is the problem... yeah it is for most I think.

If you told her (or others) it was a sippy cup of milk and not a bottle, I'm sure no-one would bat an eye.

cariadmawr · 31/12/2013 16:29

Both of ours had bottle late around 3 ds1 had his as was bad asthmatic and had comfort from it . Ds2 was having a bottle because was rubbish with food and had gross milk from Dr and only drank it in a bottle so that.what we hid . Let your little one be little and to hell with what others think she's happy so your happy .

NewtRipley · 31/12/2013 16:36

Bottle, to a bottle fed toddler can be as much comfort as breast to breast fed toddler.

Gileswithachainsaw · 31/12/2013 16:45

See that's where I think people need to decide who relies on it more :o

The mum to keep the peace
Or the child as a comfort.

I'd assume by three the promise of a new toy or getting to pick a new cup would be more than enough to give up a bottle. It's not always the battle people perceive it to be.

NewtRipley · 31/12/2013 16:49

Yes, i agree with that. Once routines are established they can be hard to let go of. Sometimes the child can be ready before we are. But unless the bottle is damaging, I really don't see the difference between comfort from a bottle, a blanket, a habit. The only difference is that some of us adults still have teddies!

monicalewinski · 31/12/2013 16:54

To answer your question, I think a bottle at 3 is unusual, and not something I would do. At 3 they are not babies anymore - any drinks should be out of a cup.

(Bf I have no opinion on or experience of so can't comment on that, but certainly formula should have stopped well before 3, so bottle no longer required).

Gileswithachainsaw · 31/12/2013 16:54

I think in that sense, you can take a teddy out with you or leave it in the car or hotel room or suitcase or whatever safe in the knowledge that when it's time to go to bed it's going to be ok.

But having that "panic " about having access to milk or a fridge to store milk and needing to be able to wash it up again before it stinks, would be more of a faff of they were dependant on it.

ilovesmurfs · 31/12/2013 16:57

But why take away a comfort if it does no harm?

Its a very peculiar thing the obsession with getting rid of bottles/dummies at a young age ie by 12mths, in many European countries its not unusual to see kids with them until 5or so.

I dont seethe point in bribing my children to give up breast/bottle as they will stop when they are ready. My first four did, so dd probably will, she has 5oz of formula (not follow on) and she likes it, it probably wouldn't be a battle to get her to stop, butthere is no need, its a nice e part of the day that she enjoys.

Cuddle with a cup, not a laid back cosy cuddle like you can have with a bfeed or bottle.

My children have all drunk from cupsd, talked, walked and potty trained well before three yes old but still liked the comfort of breast or bottle before bed and to snuggle up in bed with us.

They grow out of these comforts, I dont understand why some people are in such a rush to finish the 'baby' stage as they see it. Children naturally grow up and become more independent and then dont need these things. Sucking is naturally comforting for babies and something children will grow out of.

I just dont see the point in pushing small children to get rid off natural comforts that they will lose the need for.

NewtRipley · 31/12/2013 17:00

Giles

But what if you lose teddy???!!!!

Has happened to us twice.

Gileswithachainsaw · 31/12/2013 17:02

I don't wish to find that one out :o

ilovesmurfs · 31/12/2013 17:10

My dd has 'Lamby' a steiff lamb (courtesy of mil) and if we can't find it all hell breaks loose... I spent £45!! On a spare as the same thing was discontinued and she refuseds to have anything to do with the spare. A few months ago dp managed to take Lamby to work with him!! After three hours of tears and hysteria I called dp and demanded he brought Lamby home.

He couldn't leave work himself but luckily one if his friends understood the importance of Lamby and brought it home!

We have lost it on the school run but luckily retraced our steps and found it.

Lamby now has a collar and a name tag with my phone number on saying if found please call..!

And a lead so we can attatch him to the pushchair!

My elder three didn't really have the same attachment to a toy, ds4 loves his 'didddies' blankets but wasn't picky over which blanket and we have a few. But dd and her Lamby must not be parted, we have persuaded her when we go outthast it can be left in the car as it guards the car for daddy.

Only1scoop · 31/12/2013 17:11

Teddies should come with built in GPS

Gileswithachainsaw · 31/12/2013 17:14

Loving the collar idea!!

Tbh I do try and keep the teddies at home. Taking them out is to risky.

ilovesmurfs · 31/12/2013 17:15

Yes they should...I may have googled and looked for some kind of GPS tracking device I could put into Lamby, supridsed there isn't a product on the market tbh, pretty sure parents would buy it and then you could have an app on your phone to locate said toy. I would happily pay for one!

ToffeeOwnsTheSausage · 31/12/2013 17:17

Nothing wrong with either but better to be off bottles earlier I think. I breastfed mine until 9-10 months but they would have a bottle of expressed milk sometimes. I stopped dummies and bottles at 6 months as easier to get them off it at that age.

I would look at getting your 3 year old off the bottle but wouldn't bat an eye lid at a nine year old still wanting a teddy. It always makes me smile when I go to tuck my 12 year old in and see his teddies on his bed. One he has had since he was 2 weeks old. I see it as a positive thing he likes them.

curlew · 31/12/2013 17:39

So how do people feel about the sports bottles of water middle class children are required to be permanently attached to in case they desiccate into a cube of component chemicals between breakfast and elevenses?

Icelollycraving · 31/12/2013 17:40

Ds still uses bottles. He is 2.5. He uses cups at nursery & has slowly started using them at home. He refuses milk in a cup. I am always embarrassed about people judging him having a bottle. He suffers with terrible constipation & needs plenty of fluid,when he would only drink from a bottle I figured it was the lesser evil. I know I should have broken the habit earlier but just down to milk in them now.

NewtRipley · 31/12/2013 17:42

curlew

Or adults with their sippy cups of strong coffee welded to their hands

curlew · 31/12/2013 17:45

Newt- they were probably forced to give up their bottles too early!

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