To think this complaint against myself and a co worker is ridiculous?

[Lovebargains]

I work in an office with 5 people, all women. On the day in question, I was in the office with one of the women. Another colleague came in and excitedly talked about how her and were husband were going to try for a baby. This was particularly good news for her as she had some serious gynaecological problems in her early twenties and she was told she may never be able to have children. She had just been given the all clear. We spent some time talking about children. The woman who I share an office with stayed silent, didn't turn around from her PC and then just walked away and didn't come back until the colleague had gone. I didn't think too much of it.

Later my line manager called me to a meeting and said the woman in my office had made a complaint against me because I had been chatting to my colleague about pregnancy and children and she felt we were both very insensitive as she can't meet anyone and is unlikely to have children because of her age. Luckily my line manager didn't take it too seriously but I am astounded that someone can complain about this? We did not seek to offend her or anyone. It was simply sharing some good news.

AIBU to think the woman in my office had no right to complain about this?

Personally I think YANBU however having read our company policy on discrimination it's all about whether the person who complains feels offended

YANBU, and it seems that your line manager knows this.

Yes, it is ridiculous. She is being hypersensitive. But, i don't feel any ill intent int the conversation. It is sounding very self centred on their part. Life goes on and people will have lives. I would worry no more about it.

Utterly bonkers!
Aren't people strange!

I'd ask for an official list of approved topics of conversation.

Ridiculous. She should probably stop eavesdropping if she finds other people having normal conversations so difficult.

The problem is as described above its if someone takes offence it's offensive not if it was actually offensive in the first place.

Way to go for the woman to cause an atmosphere and make a mountain out of a subject. So many ways she could have handled better my brain hurts from it.

All rather tmi for an office in all directions. Stick to weather lol!!!!

You can't be expected never to mention conceiving or babies on the off chance that someone who is unhappily childless overhears, no. I suppose it comes down to how you feel at having been unwittingly party to a conversation that upset your colleague?

While I wouldn't have made an official complaint, I would, on the other hand, have thought that a workplace conversation about something as personal trying to conceive was inappropriate, given the environment, and a bit bizarre. If the ttc colleague is a close friend, wouldn't she have done better to tell you outside of the office? And if she's not, why on earth was she telling you???

so what exactly is her protected characteristic? can't be age surely

YANBU, and your complaining colleague sounds a little crazy.

It's understandable that there may be a topic of normal conversation that she finds upsetting. I think lots of people have subjects that are fine for most bit they find upsetting for personal reasons, but they don't all go around making complaints and expecting the world to revolve around them.

Did she make a proper complaint of did she just tell the truth when asked why she was upset?

That's not only unreasonable(on her part) it's utterly ridiculous! So are there allowed to be no child-related discussions at all then, by this logic? Is it an offence to go on maternity leave too? Heck, people shouldn't even get pregnant, that would be so insensitive to that poor woman

I understand is may be upsetting that it isn't likely she will have her own children, but that doesn't mean other people can't get excited about their own pregnancies. Well all have things we want in life that other people have, but we just have to get on with it and leave them to it.

It's not your fault she can't meet people and is too old to have children now.... Ridiculous woman. Yanbu. Although I must add, I don't understand why anyone would want to share ttc news...seems like TMI to me.

Had she previously made you aware that she finds this topic distressing or are you expected to read her mind? She may be happily childfree by choice for all you know.

Where does this kind of thing end then?
A person has a conversation about going on holiday to the Maldives and someone takes offence because they will be stuck in rainy Grimsby?
Bloody lunacy.

She probably really had the hump because you lot spend so much time gossiping while she is slaving over a hot computer.

YABU talking for "some time" about personal stuff when you were supposed to be working. Apart from upsetting the other woman, it would have been distracting for anyone else trying to get on with their work.

So is she does fall pregnant,I take it she won't be mentioning it?

Utterly crazy.

You better not talk about any men either, since she can't meet one.

Still

Actually I think your manager has handled this pretty badly.

Surely the best way to handle it would have been to point out that it's not really a taboo subject (unless you were being talked through various positions ) but if it was a sensitive/upsetting subject offer to make others aware of it - making it clear to them it was a personal comment rather than a professional one.

A woman in my office lost a parent each Christmas consecutively the last couple of years and it touches a massive raw nerve for her if people start talking about long deceased relatives [happens quite a lot in my office ). They have every right to of course, but at the moment it's just not something she can handle so she leaves the room and it's pointed out to people that it's a delicate subject for her so probably best avoided in her earshot. It's just kindness isn't it? Plenty of other opportunities to talk and other subjects to talk about.

Fwiw I'm another who doesn't really think ttc is something to be announced in it's own right. If it comes up then maybe, but as an announcement?

Well, I guess I might get a bit fed up if people spent ages and ages going on about children and pregnancy and how wonderful it was, and how their lives would now be complete and fulfilled in ways the childless could never hope to experience.

But, so long as you stopped short of that level of gushing, her reaction was excessive. Better to have quietly said something afterwards rather than drag a manager into it.

Utterly ridiculous.... Bet you feel like you are walking on eggshells now.

Hmm. I wonder if what really upset your colleague was you and the other woman chattering and not working, and it's being framed as 'bitter childless bitch versus Normal Nice Women' (not necessarily by you).

Is this woman generally difficult, hypersensitive, whiny, slack in her work? Are you always the first to stop work for a gossip? I would generally suggest just letting this one go, but making sure you're doing your share of work as well as chatting.

YANBU.

DH and I can't have children. At a time we were going through fertility investigations several of my colleagues' partners were expecting babies. It was an upsetting time for me, but I took myself off to be sad in private if things got too much. I didn't complain that they were making me sad, FFS. Why shouldn't they talk about this amazing event in their lives?

Actually you shouldn't mention partners or Husbands at all, children, or any relatives you have by marriage.

As someone who manages staff, I have had some stupid complaints in my time. It sounds like your boss agreed this was crazy, but had to go through the companies procedures.