To think this woman is being very entitled (and it's not 'news')

[pollypocket99]

www.salisburyjournal.co.uk/news/10901364.School_bars_mum_from_daughter_s_first_Christmas_play/?action=success

Saw this in our local rag. I cant believe someone is bleating about this to a newspaper makes me mad!!

This just makes me really pleased that my children go to school in Australia, because from what I have read on here, some UK schools seem to think they own the parents & children (not allowing holidays, accusing parents of lying about sick leave etc, preventing 'golden time') instead of being there to do the job of educating the children.

Our school runs perfectly, with a lovely principal at the helm who can be accommodating for this sort of thing & who doesn't need to be unreasonable to get her job done. She would have no qualms about asking a parent to prevent their child from being a disruption to everyone else on such an occasion.

You say they are not the human decency police, in that they shouldn't need to ask parents to leave a performance, yet you are all for them being the human decency police by preventing younger siblings at the performance.

That is what I meant, although I haven't worded it well.

AliceinWinterWonderland

See, this is where our principal would step in & ask for quiet/calm or ask parents to leave.

But how do the teachers (who are busy with the children on stage reminding them of words, acting etc.) or headteachers get to a parent in the middle of a crowded school hall to ask them to keep their disruptive toddlers under control / switch off their mobile phone / not have a phone conversation with someone / move their iPad from the sightlines of all behind them, without disrupting the performance even more?
I think the decision to keep little ones out of most performances is not for the audience but to reduce distraction for the children actually performing. My grandchildren's school has this and it was explained that the little ones can get extremely upset if they get mixed up and forget what they are doing or get something wrong. Like someone else said little ones screaming, running around, climbing of stage and interfering with props does put the performers off and that really isn't fair as they work so hard. Surely the main reason schools do nativities is for the performing children?

What a fuss about nothing on a no news day! Some schools allow toddlers and babies, some don't, and probably the rules are set in each case as a result of space availability or the likelihood of parents' addressing disruptive noise. Rules are usually there for very good reason. Personally, I've been lucky enough that my dc have gone to schools where younger siblings are allowed and I have never missed a show but know that at the first whisper of noise I'd be dragging my littler ones out of the door no way would I put my own imagined entitlement to be a spectator over the schoolchildren's opportunity to perform in peace.

i think it's a great idea to have younger siblings at the dress rehearsal only.
I think some posters have no clue how much work putting on the play entails from children staff and parents.Little children can't project their voices and are easily distracted.
The trouble with parents taking noisy children out is that by then it is too late.THe disruption has already happened.

Surely the main reason schools do nativities is for the performing children?

Well. you would think so, wouldn't you?

Yet again, huge sense of entitlement.

It's not about you.

I have been involved in more school plays than I can count and they are a huge amount of work, not least for the children. Why should it be ruined because of some selfish, thoughtless parent who has to have their precious toddler with them and will not take them out when they start playing up?

If you think your toddlers are more important than your elder children on this kind of occasion then there is no arguing with you.

YABU. It's pretty fucking bizarre that you think it's 'entitled' for someone with a serious illness and a young child to not be treated worse than everyone else, actually. I would say it's more entitled to think you have a god given right to watch a fucking primary school play without, er, young children making noises. WTF?

I've sat through so many school plays which have had a lot of rehearsal and hardly heard anything because of toddlers shrieking, unwrapping crisps, talking etc. each parent obviously expected toddler to behave or only make a 'little bit of noise' Every one has been hard to hear and concentrate on because of a very small number of younger children brought to it and bored stiff.

Please find alternatives or attend the dress rehearsal.

AsBrightAsAJewel

Ive seen HTs teachers and TAs manage fine with asking a parent to take a noisy baby/toddler out.

I don't think banning toddlers is a good idea. I appreciate the work that goes into school plays and how disruptive noise can be, but if you ban preschoolers, many parents won't be able to come at all.

Not everyone has someone available to babysit.

Not every toddler will be noisy.

The new ht at our primary school has just enforced this ridiculous rule.
I took my 9 month old anyway when he grew bored and noisey I took him out.
The parents who do nothing to control or remove their noisey children are annoying but so is not attending at all if you have no child care. Along with unrealistic pompous pratts who think a school nativity is akin to a west end performance. Yes it's lovely to see your children in the nativity but making it an "adult only performance" is a liberty when they are our children.
YABVVU the mum has been seriously ill . Have a heart fgs.

I took my 9 month old anyway when he grew bored and noisey I took him out.

Once he'd started making a noise. Therefore too late.
And you thought it okay to ignore the HT of your DCs school. Nice.

Yes it's lovely to see your children in the nativity but making it an "adult only performance" is a liberty when they are our children.

Um. No.
Infant nativities are in school time. It is entirely up to the school who they have on their premises at whatever time for whatever purpose. And if they don't want babies and toddlers then that's how it is.

"it is entirely up to the school who they have on their premises"

Well if they wanted it all quiet and perfectly organised their best bet is send all the kids home and have the staff perform the play.

So how have they got to the distracting parent who is the middle of a row in a darkened and tightly packed school hall without stopping the performance or disrupting it? My children's and grandchildren's schools have small halls which are very crowded during performances. We all sit squashed in on smallish chairs set out theatre style facing the stage. There is no way a headteacher could discretely speak to anyone during a performance in these circumstances, he/she would have to go to the front or at least near the front and speak over the children to be heard half way across the hall as there is no space to get any closer to the parents.

Completely agree with NannyOgg.

There is a perfect solution for parents who cannot under any circumstances get childcare, and that's to invite them to the dress rehearsal. There doesn't have to be any danger of any parent missing their child's performance completely.

You say they are not the human decency police, in that they shouldn't need to ask parents to leave a performance, yet you are all for them being the human decency police by preventing younger siblings at the performance.

There is a big difference between schools providing all parents with information about the arrangements for the performance they are putting on, and having to go up to a clearly uncooperative parent in the middle of a school performance, after a disruption has already occurred, and asking them to leave.

Well if they wanted it all quiet and perfectly organised their best bet is send all the kids home and have the staff perform the play

Do you know how much work goes into an infant production? Do you realise how excited they all are and how desperate to show their parents what they can do?

And do you know what it's like to sit in the hall and not hear the words they've practised so hard to learn, and the sounds of the songs over the racket coming from squawking toddlers and babies?

Come to our (open to all) carol service in our church and you'll understand. Where parents let their children run up and down the aisles; where they yell out when they feel like it; where they couldn't possibly remove their crying babies.
The children have put lots of work and practice into that too. And you can't bloody well hear them half the time!

Thank God the HT put her foot well and truly down over the Nativity.

the mum has been seriously ill . Have a heart fgs

It is highly likely that her surgery was planned weeks or months ahead and she knew as soon as the letter came home that she couldn't attend the dress rehearsal with the toddler.

If it were really that important to her to attend a performance with her toddler in tow, she couldn't find anyone to take him to the dress rehearsal and was genuinely without a babysitter for that night despite her mother being with her, she could have raised the problem with the HT in advance and asked them to make an exception.

She clearly didn't. She decided that her wishes were more important than those of other parents and the HT and just turned up with the child. She took a gamble on being able to embarrass them into letting her in. She lost.

The HT asked one parent with screaming toddler if she would step outside and calm him and was told to fuck off loud enough for everyone to hear.

That mother probably felt schools should welcome all little darlings and tolerate their bawling.

Surely the main reason schools do nativities is for the performing children?

So on that reasoning, why bother inviting parents/siblings etc to watch at all.

Yes, part of it is for the children, but the most part is raising funds for the school (via ticket sales) and for the parents to see their kids perform. I don't think the main reason is for the kids doing it.

Schools don't charge enough to make it worth putting hours and hours of work and practice just to raise money for the school. Even where they charge a pound per ticket (or more), there would be much more time efficient ways to raise a lot more money. I promise you that is not the reason for doing school plays. My school doesn't charge anything anyway, and nor do many others. They still give the children a chance to perform.

I can also assure you that teachers do not put hours of work and effort into producing plays for the parents benefit. Oddly enough, schools don't exist to make parents have a nice little nativity to go and watch and to provide somewhere that children can make Christmas cards.

Children get a huge amount out of performing their bit of the play and being involved in something that includes so many children.

Teachers do it for the children they teach. No one else.

Parents are invited to provide an audience and because it's nice for the children to have their parents invited to watch them do something that they have worked on on school. Not because they are the reason for a performance.

i was not allowed to take my 8 day old baby into my DDs play one year. I was told I could leave him in the classroom if I wanted. Instead, I stood at the door and watched my dd with my ds at my side in his pram.

Crying children really spoilt our nativity this year. The actors had tried so hard to make it perfect but it was constant crying from babies and talking from toddlers so it was dreadful. I absolutely think HTs should ban young children from the final performances. I was furious as we'd put in so much work during breaks and lunches.

What WooWooOwl said.

The only money my school raises is from a raffle and that money goes towards the costumes and props.

Remind me never to go to Sailsbury. This is actually news here. Good fucking grief!!
Poor little joshua will be scarred for life, as will his adoring mummy who never got to see his broadway like performance