To think this woman is being very entitled (and it's not 'news')

[pollypocket99]

www.salisburyjournal.co.uk/news/10901364.School_bars_mum_from_daughter_s_first_Christmas_play/?action=success

Saw this in our local rag. I cant believe someone is bleating about this to a newspaper makes me mad!!

This mother is crazy with her sense of entitlement, and even worse to drag her child out of the show, and worse on top of that to go to the papers.

She is especially crazy over the bit where she says her dd didn't want to do the show if her brother couldn't watch. If it was that important to her (which I don't believe, because school friends/teachers/the play in general is usually important enough for children to want to be involved) then the grandmother could have taken the toddler to the other performance and the mum could have watched alone.

It's great that schools are getting strict about this sort of thing. I've seen countless school plays be spoiled by younger siblings that can't stay quiet. Not spoiled for the teachers or the parents, but spoiled for the children who spend all that time practicing only to be distracted and unheard on their big day.

Too many parents are selfish enough to allow their toddlers to ruin it for others. If they weren't, then schools wouldn't have to make these rules.

Quite agree differentnameforthis

Noisy babies/toddlers can be disruptive sometimes. Especially if the play is being done by the smaller, quieter voiced children.

But I do think some schools go over the top.

I remember once there were two performances, one am, one pm. You didn't get to choose which one you saw. The school gave you a ticket for either am or pm randomly.

I had a nursery aged child. [nursery attached to the school]

You would think that I would have been given a ticket for the performance during my childs nursery session.

I was given a ticket for when I would have him with me, he said 'look, its xxxx' when he saw his brother and the dep head came over and made us leave.

Once outside the hall I pointed out the above, said I would have much rather have seen the performance without my 3 yr old and also asked why the adults who were loudly talking weren't asked to leave, she ignored my points and I didn't get to see my 6 yr old in the play.

It really annoyed me!

Thank you different name! There was me under the illusion tht primary schools were community resources and aimed at young children

I'm in the fence on this one. On one hand I can see the point about expecting to be able to take a sibling etc etc, but the school had provided a different opportunity to see the show with little ones.

My DD had a speaking part this year. First time ever and believe me, it WAS a big deal. A small sibling screeched over her line :-(

I only have one child, but I never let her make noise inappropriately or run about in such situations. Take them out if they can't behave!

I don't know why the school is getting the blame. If people controlled their children they wouldn't have had to make the rules in the first place.

Be mad at the parents who think their little darling is too cute to sit down with a box of raisins and refuse to remove him/her when they are screaming. They are the ones to blame.

Amber, that's awful ;(

If you take a look at other threads you will read all about children in tears after their lines have been drowned out and kids actually climbing on stage and fiddling with props and/or literally crying their eyes out the whole time.

Then the head & teachers need to grow some balls & tell the parents to leave. Not penalise a poor woman who has had surgery on her spine, whose family has had more important things on their minds (like possibly, will she ever walk again) to think about!!

Sorry, but I just don't agree that she was unreasonable. And there is some really nasty stuff being written here about her. What happened to putting ourselves in others shoes, rather then the 'I'm alright Jack' attitude that is so prevalent today!

Schools are aimed at young children.

Their priority has to be the young children that they have a current responsibility to teach and to care for. Children get a lot out of performing in school plays and they deserve to be the centre of attention when they do their show.

Whether you think it matters or not, noisy and distracting audience members do take something away from the children who are performing. A school that remembers this is not doing a bad job IMO.

GoodnessKnows It still rankles!..can you tell!

Gileswithachainsaw Really? The first thing on YOUR mind, had your daughter just recently had spinal surgery, would be to make sure your grandchild went to the appropriate event? Because If I was looking after my grandchildren during my daughter's recovery from spinal surgery, I don't think it would my first thought.

Then the head & teachers need to grow some balls & tell the parents to leave.

Why should school staff have to go up to grown adults in the middle of the school play and ask them to behave like less selfish human beings and make the do something they clearly don't want to do.

They are teachers, not the human decency police!

Thank you different name! There was me under the illusion tht primary schools were community resources and aimed at young children

I know! Makes you wonder how teacher keep 30 odd kids in check if they can't ask a parent to remove a disruptive child.

I have seen a dance instructor do it to a mum with a young child who wanted to join in the dancing. Mum wasn't happy, but the instructor said it was either that, or her they would all have to leave. Mum soon took her youngest outside & the class commenced.

Just read the article.

TBH I think the school could have made an exception under the circumstances.

I didn't realise the Mum had been in hospital for 3 weeks.

I can understand having 'quiet' performances, but surely there is room for exceptions.

But there would have been plenty of other people there who had a multitude of other issues themselves. Sick family members, elderly grandparents who rely on their families for every appointment etc. C sections booked , relatives needing picking up from airport.

I'm not saying her circumstances aren't tragic, but she would not have been the only one. And if they bend the rules for her then they have to for everybody else who each has their own set of urgencies and stresses

The school did the best they could by giving people warning about the set up .

Parents don't show consideration though. They really don't. Our HT says at the beginning of the performance:

"Thank you all for coming. It's nice to see so many siblings here, too. The children have been working so very hard in preparation for this show, so if your child or elderly relative, etc., have a cold and want to have a cough, or talk, or start crying, etc, please feel free to take them out to the area over there, so that the children's efforts aren't spoiled."

Then, everyone settles down to watch the performance amidst babies crying, loud voices saying 'just play with this darling' and toddlers with streaming colds coughing for 2 or 3 minutes at a time .

My DD2 (6) said, when I asked her how her play went, 'Fine, except for the screeching babies!'

Amber, I think what happened to you was unfair too, but I think you should direct the anger at the way the school handled the allocation of the tickets, not the fact that they didn't want a toddler in the performance.

They could have made it clear that toddlers weren't welcome in the first place, and asked parents to specify whether they wanted a morning or an afternoon ticket. Not everyone will always get what they want, but at least the school is giving you a chance and facilitating it in the best way they can.

At the school I work in, a TA would have offered to watch your child instead of watching the show themselves.

WooWooOwl Once again, the offending parent/toddler can be asked to leave.

I was given a ticket for when I would have him with me, he said 'look, its xxxx' when he saw his brother and the dep head came over and made us leave. That was over the top. There was no need to ask you to leave after one comment!

They are teachers, not the human decency police! Yet you are all for them telling parents not to take their younger children to certain perfomances? Because by your reasoning, they also shouldn't need to exclude younger siblings from school plays. You can't have it both ways! If they don't want the disruption, they need to learn to ask for the parent to leave.

Well, that's news in salisbury!

Unfortunately I went to school with this particular entitled mum (and many more like her)

Seriously, is this a recent phenomenon? Because I have been to several school plays/performances where younger siblings have been welcome & we haven't had this at all. I can't remember ONE single incident in almost 20yrs of going to school plays/performances/sports days/special assemblies etc.

Unless you count a younger sibling saying hello to his/her older sibling, which is cute & no reason to exclude them.

LostPelvicFloor no I don't know the woman (I don't live anywhere near her).

but I think you should direct the anger at the way the school handled the allocation of the tickets, not the fact that they didn't want a toddler in the performance

That is exactly what I am/was doing.

There wasn't even a 'ban' on toddlers [not that I consider a 3 yr old at nursery a toddler] the dep HT was overzealous in telling me to leave, but yet didn't say a word to the noisy chattering adults.

It was typical of that school anyway, great school on paper, but really poor at school/parental relations. They rarely consulted parents when making decisions and the cock ups that followed were a result of that.

why didn't the grandmother take the toddler to the dress rehersal and then look after him while the mother went to the show?

This. If I was the grandmother, I'd offer to miss the programme and watch the toddler outside while the mum saw the show. I don't see why it's news.

Because by your reasoning, they also shouldn't need to exclude younger siblings from school plays. You can't have it both ways!

I don't understand that.

I'm not asking for it both ways. I'm asking for parents to respect it if they have been asked not to bring toddlers to a school performance, or to respect it when they have been asked to make sure they remove siblings that become noisy.

But at the same time, I think schools should make a big effort to accommodate the needs of families. It's their responsibility. The school in the article seems to have done that.

Lots of noisy infants and toddlers at DS2's nativity programme at school. It was really bad and meant you didn't hear practically any of the lines. Very frustrating (and rude of the parents that didn't leave).