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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think a family can't live on this...

322 replies

verydoubtful · 29/12/2013 07:48

40K? I've done the sums and it just doesn't work. I know it's relative and a lot of families make do with a lot less but I can't see how I can make it work. No car finance in sums and no debt. Just basic expenses.

PS have namechanged for this

OP posts:
babyicebean · 29/12/2013 16:55

My fit (fiat, was typing round cat) cost just over 6k, its a year old and I am putting in about £35 a week petrol, pay 39ish a month insurance and its £30 a year road tax

Overall it'll cost 17-1800 a year to run and that is everything all in. I do just over 200 mile a week on the school run and about 50 other miles, it fits the four kids in quite comfortably.

lljkk · 29/12/2013 16:59

Immigrating costs a fortune. We had no employer offering to to stump anything up.
I estimated something like (US $)
$1000 DH green card
$3000 to transport us
$5000 to transport our favourite stuff
$10,000 first & last month's rent, + deposit, somewhere big enough for all of us, plus furnishing costs (hope to buy a property later)
$12,000 for 2x2nd hand cars if bought outright, nothing too nice, including 1 yr's insurance

So about £20k just to set ourselves up. Shock

AnyBagsofOxfordFuckers · 29/12/2013 17:02

Whatever5, you are missing the point. With clever planning and budgeting (which doesn't need to be particularly time-consuming, complicated or depressing), £40K can be a very good amount indeed to be living on. As I said previously, why spend any more than you have to on things like bills, tv, etc.

And everyone should budget, plan and spend sensibly, no matter what their income. That's not depressing, that's being an adult.

foreverondiet · 29/12/2013 17:27

Ok our household income is much higher than £40k but - Dry cleaning even in London can find for £7 a suit. Son has hair cut with clippers by dh so essentially free. Dh won't pay more than £10. We don't pay for sky as we have freeview. We manage with one car - will you need two for work? We are a family of 5 and your estimate of food bill is high can do for less if you want.

DooDaa2014 · 29/12/2013 17:41

We bare a family of 4. 2 adults, 2 toddlers and live in SE. No debts (except mortgage. At the moment I'm a sahm, DH earns £35k. We don't have a car. Manage fine on that.

whatever5 · 29/12/2013 18:04

I'm not missing the point at all AnyBagsofOxfordFuckers. I just don't agree that someone is on a good income if they can't afford Sky (assuming they want it) and have to budget carefully for food, petrol, haircuts etc.

WelliesandPyjamas · 29/12/2013 18:47

Genuine question. What does sky offer that normal freeview combined with iplayer etc can't give you? I've always felt that you'd have to spend an awful lot of time watching tv, or be extremely keen on sports, to make sky worth all the money some days wish I had the time to sit around and watch too much tv

cjel · 29/12/2013 18:50

I have only had sky in the last 3 years because the area I live in doesnt get good signal for terrestrial tv and in some parts of the town you get nothing at all.

nkf · 29/12/2013 18:55

A family can live on that. Your family could. The question really is does that way of living strike you as desirable compared with what you already have? Is living in the UK worth giving up other things? There are dozens of ways you could cut down on expenditure. Do you want to? £40k gives you choices. Not unlimited choices but choices.

startwig1982 · 29/12/2013 19:01

40k is enough for a rural area.
Get rid of sky and get a tv with free view instead. Don't spend so much on haircuts! DS and DH go to the barber and have their hair cut for £10 for the 2.
£600 for food is too much, unless you are buying meat everyday. You need to meal plan. We are a family of 3 and spend no more than £300. Normally more like £240 on food.

PosyNarker · 29/12/2013 19:15

I suppose OP it depends on what your lifestyle is now, but you're absolutely doing the right thing in thinking this through.

40k as a salary is pretty good. 40k for a household is not exactly up there with the last of the big spenders.

I do think you could cut your food budget as others have said quite easily. DP and I have no DC and to be honest, a pretty high income between the two of us and I spend about £500 a month max. This allows for free range organic meat, loads of fresh veg, wine & any bog standard spirits that need replacing in case we have guests. This also allows for my lunches, because I prefer to take packed and have something nice / healthy than pay over the odds for stuff that's less healthy and not as nice.

I do meal plan (because I don't like waste) but I do happily buy quite expensive stuff without thinking about it. I don't say that to boast, but just to say that on £500 a month I feel I have quite luxurious tastes (certainly compared to my poorer days) and don't feel at all hard done by.

FanFuckingTastic · 29/12/2013 19:19

I live on £360 a month for everything so I think a family could manage on 40k so long as they live to their means.

whatever5 · 29/12/2013 19:24

We have Virgin as don't get a good signal with freeview. Some of my favourite channels aren't on Freeview (e.g.Fox). I think we pay £32 extra month which is not a huge amount (worth it for us anyway). The TiVo box that comes with the package is also useful.

AnyBagsofOxfordFuckers · 29/12/2013 19:30

Whatever5, as I'vesaid previously, we live on 25K and have Virgin media. We also get Ocado deliveries and go to M&S food now and then, and have a Lovefilm account. And my hair looks good. Again, the point is that careful budgeting allows you to have nice things, albeit not solid gold Rolexes, or whatever. I still think your point about an income not being good if you have to budget really odd, and a bit immature.

ChatNicknameUnavailable · 29/12/2013 19:33

I just don't agree that someone is on a good income if they can't afford Sky (assuming they want it) and have to budget carefully for food, petrol, haircuts etc.

THIS.

If you have to watch every penny then I wouldn't say that was a 'good' income either. Average maybe.

PosyNarker · 29/12/2013 19:43

What is a good income though? Probably one for another thread. I agree 40k for three, whilst perfectly manageable and if well managed quite comfortable isn't up there - I had a quick look at the guardian calculator from last year and it would've put you at 58% in terms of the averages, so it's pretty much middle income.

Priorities are always a funny one though when you have some discretionary income, because I think people often assume their priorities are everyone's priorities. When we were on an equivalent income, our parents thought we were mad having a gym membership (part work subsidised), but it cost the same as Sky, which I wouldn't have today, because i think it's too dear and I wouldn't get value from it (but that's me and my own preferences - I prefer my 40 a month to go on my gym membership).

minifingers · 29/12/2013 20:06

Ok, I was having a wobble the other day (crises with dd) and started to see what financial support I could get if I moved out into a flat on my own with my 2 ds's. Benefits calculator told me that I was entitled to (roughly) 19K in benefits. This includes job seekers allowance, housing benefit (I live in London), council tax benefit etc. this is equivalent to a salary of about 28K. For three of us. And I'd get free prescriptions, free school meals and have no commuting costs.

So no, 40k for a family of 5 with commuting costs and similar housing costs would be a struggle.

dementedma · 29/12/2013 20:11

I would love to get rid of Sky but dh is bloody obsessed with sport. It is the first thing I will ditch once I have murdered him!
This thread is really interesting as we are terrible at managing our money although we do try hard, so I am always keen to see what others are spending and pick up tips. I am looking at a few spreadsheets and apps to see what is best. We really should be managing better than we are!

Slh122 · 29/12/2013 20:13

dementedma that is exactly the same reason we have sky - DP has to have his sports channels and apparently nothing else except sky will cut it Hmm

whatever5 · 29/12/2013 20:17

AnyBagsofOxfordFuckers- I am 45 years old and far from immature. I just have a different idea of what constitutes a good income and good lifestyle than you.

DownstairsMixUp · 29/12/2013 20:19

The thing s to dementedma and slh122 somethings having sky sports does work out better than not having it. My own DP doesn't like sports but FIL is a huge sports lover. If he didn't have sky sports he'd only go to the pub to watch it then spend more money on pints so in theory it might work out better paying that.

Wherediparkmybroom · 29/12/2013 20:26

You are joking I lived on benefits with darling son 1, still managed holidays etc, when I went back to work I felt like ivanna trump!!!! And we didn't nearly touch this amout, btw I live in the south east!

Stylistica · 29/12/2013 21:56

Is the £40k one income? Can it be negotiated? You sound hesitant I would stay put if any doubts as it's just geography at the end of the day!

Ninasaurus · 29/12/2013 22:13

I wouldn't move if I were you.

What about savings?

What about savings for if you want to move back?

40k you can live on but it doesn't give you a huge quality of life, savings and choices.

Why don't you try and change career now so that you can get something better paid if you do choose to move back. I think an income of 70k+ earned by 2 people is much more reasonable and will offer you the standard of living you are use to, along with some savings if you change your mind and want to leave again.

ARealPickle · 29/12/2013 22:20

What sort of career can you suggest that you change to mid life that earns that high?! I've looked in local job papers and even jobs for 20 grabs want mental health training certs or qualified sw or more than my pgce!