To think a family can't live on this...

[verydoubtful]

40K? I've done the sums and it just doesn't work. I know it's relative and a lot of families make do with a lot less but I can't see how I can make it work. No car finance in sums and no debt. Just basic expenses.

PS have namechanged for this

Do you have a car NettleTea? I simply don't understand how three of you can manage on £18,000. Or is that £18,000 net, not gross?

Yes if it were a case of having to, but we have a good benefits system in this country and nobody should have to.

I've been a single parent on benefits in London, I spent that much a week on my food bill. In fact even now, because we don't have money to go out or buy lots of things, a lot of money is spent on our supermarket shop because we spend a lot of time at home!

These sort of competitive scrimping posts remind me of the people I work with who live at home rent free with mummy and daddy but yet can't understand why even though I earn double what they do, I have less disposable income as I am supporting a family of 4.

It's all relative.

Why should the OP have to count her pennies? Even those who are astounded at the notion that 40k is not super rich, are suggesting that meat and car travel is a luxury.

It's so contradictory. Either 40k is a fortune and therefore you'd expect to be able to afford Sky tv. Or actually it's not a lot of money and that's why she should walk 6 miles to the nearest shops to spend 70 per month on her food shopping. It can't be both of these things!??

Why should the OP have to count her pennies? Even those who are astounded at the notion that 40k is not super rich, are suggesting that meat and car travel is a luxury.

Nobody is specifically saying the OP should HAVE to count her pennies. They are saying if she CHOOSES to live in the UK with that particular income available to her and that budget, she will most likely have to make some adjustments. And that's life, hey.

I have to count my pennies. So do a number of other people on this thread. You live within your budget. That's the whole point.

So she has a choice to make based on that. Priorities. We're pointing out a number of savings options to cut her budget, and she can pick and choose based on what's important to her, or she can choose to stay where she is or go to a smaller house or what have you.

It all depends on your housing costs. If you're forced to find £1500 a month out of that for a roof over your head, then it's not a lot of money. If you can live comfortably for £500 or less on your rent or mortgage, then it's more than plenty.

Yes I see that and these posts are very helpful to people asking for budgeting tips.

I think the OP (and a lot of people who earn very little but are topped up by other 'credits') assumed that 40k would give her the sort of lifestyle where she could afford the necessities and the luxury of a hair cut without having to cut back in other areas.

But she can't.

She hasn't got eating out, cinema, drinks, holidays etc on her budget. A lot of people would expect these things if they earned a good salary.

I imagine if the OP is used to a higher standard of living where she is now, it would be a big change of lifestyle for her.

Exactly, HeGrewWhiskers
Its bollox.

Hegrewwhiskers - Most people go to the cinema, bowling, pubs, foriegn holidays and regular meals out on a lot lower wages with their families.

Btw I don't earn what the Op does, and I've gone over the tax credit threshold which means my pay rise has seen me take home less money each month.

I understand the choices we all have to make and I am too scared to check my balance because of Christmas and a DC's birthday next week.

I just don't see why we should accept this as a way of life. Of course we should want more for our families. I work hard, you work hard, we all work hard. In this day and age we shouldn't have to struggle to put the heating on or buy some meat to go with our dinner. Especially if we earn a 'good' wage.

I can't afford those things annie.

We don't have those things on a regular basis, either, Annie.

I have to say, it does annoy me that employers in the UK use the tax credit system as a means to pay people very low salaries. We can not claim tax credits (and never have), but because of the tax credit system, employers do not pay people realistic salaries and this is accepted as normal.

Most people do those things though and most people are on a lot less wages.

OP, I've skipped a bit but I agree with Quintessential's point upthread - if you've been out of the UK for a while, it's probably coming as a shock to you just how high the cost of living in this country is, compared to average wages. The biggest hit is housing, which is completely out of whack with wages, but also stuff like travel (I mean, even travelling to work), utilities and food have seen massive increases in the past ten years and wages haven't gone up accordingly. I don't know where in the world you are, but I lived abroad for several years and had a much nicer lifestyle then than I have now back in the UK. If I were you, I'd think long and hard about this move, because it could well mean that you're giving up things that you currently can afford. Plus, the weather is shit.

T

I just don't see why we should accept this as a way of life.

Starting to lose a bit of sympathy now. Seriously, you make do with the income you have, adjusting your budget accordingly, or you find a way to increase your income to fund your "luxuries."

Some people are barely scraping by, and I find it obscene that people are whinging that they have no standard of life if they can't go out to eat or go to the cinema or have holidays.

Let's at least try and keep some perspective here.

The OP will have to make choices based on her priorities. Is it really that big a deal? We all do it, to some extent.

insurance for the cars will be more because coming back to UK they will have 0 years no claims

I would skip on sky, we are a family of 3 and you can have really nice food with enough for packed lunches and a couple of bottles of wine and toiletries for £75-100 a week so that is a saving of £2-300 a month, the hairdressers bill is too high could be done for much less,
presents well could be reduced a bit

mobile bill could be £7.50 per phone per month but you get quite a lot extra for about £12 so still a saving

suits do not need dry cleaning every month, certainly not the jacket anyway, quite a few men I know buy two identical pairs of trousers with a suit as often jacket not worn, and trousers more likely to need cleaning as jacket never touches skin anyway

in some circumstances school lunches are a good thing but they are generally not £4 per day which is what £84 suggests

I don't think anyone is after sympathy.

40k is a lot more than a lot of families. That is fact.

It is however going to give the OP a lower standard of living than she is used to. I don't know where she is living now, but perhaps we should all go and live there !

No, Alice, it's not that big a deal and you're right, the OP does just need to work out her priorities, as that's not a particularly low income. But I still sympathise with her that it must be an unwelcome shock to start working through what might be a very much wanted move and to realise your life will have to change a lot for reasons you might not have imagined

Depending where you live its not particularly high either.

OP, to be specific, these are places I think you've over-estimated costs:

Sky 40 (I guess I just don't understand why you would want this so much)
Mobile (x2) 40 (Our costs = Less than £20/month for me & DH)
Food & other household groceries 600 (we spend £500/month for 6 people, and we eat & drink quite well)
Vehicle insurance 80 (I would halve that for 2 cars)
Petrol 280 (2 tanks of petrol per car per month would cost us more like £140)
School lunches 84 (that's what I spend for lunches yr round for 4 DC)
Sons haircuts 10 (every other month, surely?)
Wife's cut & colour 60 (can't you make it every 2 months instead?)

Don't get me wrong, I do sympathise with her, to a point. It's the posters that are expressing shock and horror and acting like it's not a life worth living without the added little luxuries. A bit silly IMO. Loads of people are struggling, so it seems rather selfish. I am just saying it's important to keep things in perspective.

I think the point is though that op does have a choice and why would she want to be worse off for coming back to the uk?

£84 for lunches for four for a year? I assume you mean the school year? How many pence a meal does that work out to?

You can use no claims bonuses that have accrued overseas. At least my DH could, three years ago. I also benefitted from his no claims. I can't remember the details but we had both cars insured under a multi car policy with Privilege Insurance and it was quite reasonable despite the cars being brand new.

Hi all,

Thanks very much for taking the time to respond. It seems the figures do need adjusting after having the input of real people.

To the people earning less, and to whom I've caused offense, I apologize. I could have worded my thread title differently and I do understand that it is possible to survive on less, also that the thread is about my expectations and that I am not as knowledgeable on the cost of living in the UK as you are.

To clarify:
*we are a family of four

• we will need two vehicles. I think my figures may be out (too high?) with regards to insurance and tax. I'll check these again. We're planning for 2 small cars. Can you suggest an amount to budget for yearly maintenance?

• I'll adjust the groceries (food, cleaning material, toiletries) down to 400. We cook from scratch and eat what I would call average food. No takeouts usually (don't like them much) and not into organics or anything.

• I presumed incorrectly that children at school have the meals provided by school and either parents pay or, if unable to pay, the receive assistance. So I can scrap that cost and send a packed lunch.

*broadband / TV / landline - I'd like unlimited broadband. (Yes, we really do use it that much) From what I can see though this is not a big cost.
Tv - I'll look into free to air channels. Is that just putting up an aerial?

• so I get my hair done every 6 weeks. I googled hairdressers in the area, the increased that search by a 20-30 mile radius and found two. I took an average of the prices and put that into the budget.

• mobile phones I'll check again as it seems I can reduce this too.