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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think a family can't live on this...

322 replies

verydoubtful · 29/12/2013 07:48

40K? I've done the sums and it just doesn't work. I know it's relative and a lot of families make do with a lot less but I can't see how I can make it work. No car finance in sums and no debt. Just basic expenses.

PS have namechanged for this

OP posts:
BigChocolateOrange · 29/12/2013 07:50

I think you'll need to give more information about your circumstances.

MrsBennetsEldest · 29/12/2013 07:50

It's very hard to say without a breakdown of your finances.

fedupandexhausted · 29/12/2013 07:51

Ridiculous.....not so long ago we supported a family of 6 on 25k and had enough money or treats as well.

BinkieWoo · 29/12/2013 07:51

I know of a lot of families who manage on a lot less than that and 40k would seem like a fortune to them. Guess it depends whereabouts in the country you are maybe?

whoneedssleepanyway · 29/12/2013 07:52

It can be done u will find people on here managing on less than half that but depends what commitments u have. U say no debt does that include mortgage?

OrangeMochaFrappucino · 29/12/2013 07:53

We are a family of three, soon to be four. We have a lower income, some debts eg car finance and next year will have maternity leave considerably reducing that sum. We budget very carefully and manage - live in the north though. Budgeting is daunting and dispiriting at first but you soon realise how well you can manage.

CaptainSweatPants · 29/12/2013 07:53

Depends how large your mortgage is surely

wem · 29/12/2013 07:54

You've contradicted yourself - you think a family can't live on 40k and then say you know families make do with a lot less. So which is it?

desperateforaholiday · 29/12/2013 07:54

Of course you can live on that Hmm

A lot of families earn a lot less and still manage to survive.

ARealPickle · 29/12/2013 07:54

Most families live on less than this don't they?

ViviPru · 29/12/2013 07:55

YABU to say a family can't, but YANBU to say your family can't live on that.

You'll be told you can cut your cloth, make it work, find a way, but if the sums don't work they don't work.

We have left it very late to have kids. A big factor in this is a financial one, even though we appear actually fairly comfortably off to the untrained eye. It is extremely frustrating when people say 'oh but there's never a good time, you'll think you'll never have enough money, but you just make it work" for us, no, actually it would have been impossible.

JonSnowKnowsNothing · 29/12/2013 07:55

More info please. Do you live in Central London or a Northern pit village, etc? Do you own or rent?

BouncyCow · 29/12/2013 07:56

If you've calculated all your basic, essential outgoings and can't afford to live on it, then you can't afford to live on it - short of getting more jobs

DH, 2 DCs and I live on 17k a year but BIL lives with us which keeps costs down, but means DCs share a bedroom and we rent. Aso, we don't go on holidays abroad, only have one car and I try to stick to spending about £50 - £60 a week on groceries, but we're all happy and well fed.

Like you say, it's all relative as others would hate to live without a holiday abroad, share a house with another relative and rent but it just depends on what you consider important I suppose.

ARealPickle · 29/12/2013 07:56

We've often lived on less than this (in South East as well!)

I think the statement is absurd as obviously most families DO live on less than this.

The real problem you need to express is your circumstances - have you just come down from a much larger income, has life changed significant ly or are you changing to one income?

foslady · 29/12/2013 07:59

Not everyone is that fortunate to be on anything near.that amount. Ridiculous statement, sorry, you've admitted people.do. Are you looking for.sympathy or bragging that you have more.than a.lot of other families coming into your household financially.
Hate these kind of threads.

ShinyBlackNose · 29/12/2013 08:00

Op I'm going to guess that you live in the south east where housing costs are crippling. Add the cost of commuting on top and I can understand why you might be struggling.

There was an article in the paper this week about housing costs. It showed small mid terrace properties for sale in Bradford for sale at around £35,000. Similar small mid terrace properties in my area cost ten times that.

Sadoldbag · 29/12/2013 08:00

Op I a sorry but if your on 40k your doing well we are on a lot less oh is a nurse he also works up wards of 12 hours and is on all Christmas ECt

I don't know what you want people to say

ANormalOne · 29/12/2013 08:19

I manage on less than half of that, 40j a year would be more than enough for me.

ANormalOne · 29/12/2013 08:19

40k even

mumtosome61 · 29/12/2013 08:24

Sweeping statement, sadly. You can't say you can't live on it and not say why - how are we supposed to answer a question without the evidence?

It's perfectly reasonable to say YOU may not be able to live on it, but plenty of people can and do, with much less. So you are being unreasonable to say "people" can't - you may be reasonable to say YOU can't.

If you can't, you need to find out what you can eliminate (Sky? Phone contracts? Subscriptions not needed) so you can live on it.

LovesBaublingTheTreeAgain · 29/12/2013 08:27

Because it depends what you count as basics.

LovesBaublingTheTreeAgain · 29/12/2013 08:28

You've namedchanged so give us a breakdown

MrsLouisTheroux · 29/12/2013 08:28

40k is approx £2,400 take home after tax.
It is plenty unless you are living beyond your means and have bought a house or car you can't afford and doesn't match your income.

DeckSwabber · 29/12/2013 08:30

Whether YABU depends what your outgoings are and how much control you have over them.

Lots of people manage on a lot less than that. Others would struggle to manage because of high rents/mortgage/expensive commute etc. Sometimes it's hard to manage a big reduction in income.

If you are struggling, might be worth noting EVERY expense fr a few weeks and see where you can make savings, eg £5 a day on nice coffee/snacks quickly adds up to £25/week, £100/month.

Original poster
verydoubtful · 29/12/2013 08:32

I understand that this thread might upset people and that some would think I am being very unreasonable. I'll try to explain a bit more.

Partner and I have lived abroad all our adult lives. We are now wanting to move back home for a better quality of life, having more time as a family together and not working ridiculous hours, weekend work, Christmas, new years etc.

We've been offered a job in a very rural location. We plan on renting for at least a year as the area is unfamiliar to us. Rentals are limited and the few I can find online start at 650 for a three bed.

We will need 2 vehicles. We'll pay cash for 2 small cars but would still have the expense of running them.

When you add up all the costs associated with housing, cars, food, phones, tv, broadband etc, just basic living we cannot afford to make this move.

I dont think the rent is unreasonable or outrageously high. In fact none of the amounts ive put into the budget are, so I genuinely don't understand how people manage.

OP posts:
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