To think a family can't live on this...

[verydoubtful]

40K? I've done the sums and it just doesn't work. I know it's relative and a lot of families make do with a lot less but I can't see how I can make it work. No car finance in sums and no debt. Just basic expenses.

PS have namechanged for this

sadoldbag do you pay rent or a mortgage? Genuinely intrigued as there is nowhere to rent around here for under £1,000 PCM to fit a family of 3. I know as my DPs are looking for a 2 bed flat.

It looks like your budget is approximately equal to income, so in practice you'd be able to squeeze in with minor adjustments. (For me, Sky is one of the best-value-for-money items on the whole list, and the last discretionary item I would cut. Internet is more important, so important that I wouldn't even consider it discretionary.)

I've recently discovered that washing M&S washable suit trousers on hand-wash cycle with wool detergent really does work. (And it definitely works a lot better than actual hand-washing which leaves them a lot wetter and more prone to creasing.) Have only done this once, and hung trousers over banister to finish drying, and when dry they were ready to wear, with original creases/pleats intact and no new creases added, no ironing required. I take the view that suit jackets don't need cleaning at all. That was my view even before I gave up buying/wearing them, after I realised I only ever wore them to walk 100m between office car park and car.

I don't need a mobile, as I'm always either at home or office where I have a landline, or driving between the two, when I can't use one.

My contents insurance (£25K contents in a flat in London) is £100 a year.

My electricity and gas is £100 a month. (Well-insulated modern flat though, so your estimate may well be nearer the mark.)

Your grocery budget seems high, our spend for 3 is roughly £100 a week and I think we could spend much less if we had to. That bill includes child clothes which often come from supermarket.

My car insurance is only about £300, but I think that is lower than average, so your figures may well be more accurate. Also, although I only drive cheapish (£4000 - £7000) second-hand cars, this still costs me approaching £200 a month in depreciation and maintenance, on average, so you need to budget for that. (I do use main dealers for servicing, and replaced a gearbox for £1500 once, so without that it's possible your figures could work out a little lower.)

We would be rolling in it on £40k. We have a very comfortable life on less than half that but our mortgage is only £600 we don't smoke or drink or want foreign holidays, I don't work so we don't have child care costs. I appreciate that if we did or we lived somewhere more pricey then it would be more difficult.
That said £600 a month foodis ridiculous for 3 people.

I think that it would be quite hard to leave on 40k but I suppose it depends on what you consider necessary for a reasonable quality of life. We are reasonably well of financially and don't need to budget much (at the moment) but spend less than you have suggested on food, haircuts and dry cleaning. Your car insurance is a lot but I don't suppose there is much you can do about it until you have lived in the UK for three years or so.

Other things in your budget don't seem extravagant though and you haven't included a lot of things I would add. You would need to save a certain amount each month for unexpected emergencies. Also, I'm not sure how old your children are but you haven't factored in the cost of after school activities. We spend a fortune on some of those, particularly music lessons.

I will buck the trend and agree with you OP. I think a family in the south east need a minimum of 60k to live adequately. While I am sure people will disagree with me there is a difference between just surviving and living adequately. By adequately I mean not having to worry about food expenditure and having the odd luxury such as Sky. They are not decandent by any means

The thing with comparing incomes is its.completely relative to where you live. We have what would seem a high income on this thread but Home Counties mortgages are around 1100 a month for a 3 bed, plus 450 train tickets... Our income goes a lot less far than it would in a different part of the country

You can easily live comfortably on less than 40k, that's a great wage here (North.)
Just seen your breakdown of costs, there's loads of places you can be saving.
Why do you need to spend 75 pounds on cutting and colouring family's hair every month?! That's a ridiculous amount of money frittered away, especially if you're wanting to save money.
Do it yourself!
As for mobiles, if you're not tied into contracts get pay as you go and just top up as and when you need it.
Also - £84 for school lunches?! Although thinking about it, if you mean school dinners, if I put my two on school dinners it would come to £80 a month.
Get them on packed lunches!!!
You don't need Sky. That's an unnecessary luxury. Freeview has loads of different channels and costs nothing.
We used to have Sky but don't miss it now we don't - the amount of repeated stuff was ridiculous!

Just made the same point, baking

I also agree with the posters asking about pensions and insurance, particularly if only one of you is working, that is worth thinking about. And at £40,000 I believe you would get CB for any children too.

We are a family of 3 (and a dog) and live on considerably less than 40k. I don't consider us to be poor, a lot of people we know are worse off than us. We live in South East, don't have sky tv, don't drink, don't smoke, do have foreign holidays most years.

£600 per month for food is more than my rent and seems extortionate. We spend a lot less than this including the occasional takeaway and meal out.

We can afford sky and used to have it but I cancelled because I was fed up of having hundreds of channels and nothing decent to watch. Don't miss it at all.

baking and thurlow that is the huge frustration of the "I live on 20p a month* comparisons. You should have to state where you live and when you bought your house. I know people who bought (even in the South East) 10 years before me (I bought at 22 so as soon as I could afford it) and therefore have £300 a month mortgages on enormous houses. We are lucky to have our house but our mortgage is eye watering but I couldn't work anywhere but London thanks to a city based job so I have no choice with young DC than to live somewhere expensive.

Im assuming 40k pretax so more lie 32k takehome. I work out you would have about 250 a month left over, 550 if u cut your food bill in half. Not sure if you have included pensions or not which would make a difference.

Out of 550 say

100 clothes/uniform/shoes
100 savings
50 parties
200 spending money (25 a week each for u and oh)
100 holidays or entertainment

It probably would be tight and holidays would be every two years say but it is workable.

I read the OP and thought you were going to say that you are both full time workers on 20k each, with several pre school children needing nursery care. In which case I could see youd have a point

The reality though is that you have one child of school age, and also that you list things like sky, hair colour treatments and £600 per month food shops as 'necessities'. !!!

Ok, first off- is this the income for just one of you working, or both? I'm assuming the former as you don't list childcare as an expense and youd need wraparound and holiday care if you were both working. So- for a start, why do you need two cars if one of you won't be working? You haven't moved yet, so when you do, make sure you rent somewhere within walking distance of a shop or near a bus route and that immediately cancels out the need for two vehicles

As others have said- sky and hair colouring aren't necessities. Food shopping can be cut down considerably from £600 without compromising on quality of meals. Also if one of you isn't working, that allows more time to shop around, cook from scratch etc

School dinners- that's a ridiculous monthly spend. Buy or bake a loaf and make sandwiches for a fraction of the price.

I agree that for someone moving to the UK after living abroad the cost of living must seem horrendous. It is horrendous. It shocks me how much things like utilities and food and childcare cost compared to other countries. But without the massive major bill of childcare, and income of 40k for 3 of you sounds perfectly doable; you'll just need to make adjustments to your lifestyle.

I live rurally. I shop at Aldi, so the bill for five is around £70 per week, and we eat very well.
Cut and colour you need to learn to diy. You reckon it's not going to save much, but with a decent shop, that's a weeks food.

Better not let the OH see this thread, he goes into rant mode when people say the UK is expensive (he's Danish)

Our income is around 40k, we spend approx £1200 per month of that on 'fixed' things like mortgage, insurance, pension etc. I would say we have a comfortable life on that sort of salary.

£600 a month on groceries for 2 adults and 1 child?!

Your income and outgoings are very similar to ours, and we manage. But there's nothing left over. I can't help but echo others' comments that £600/month on groceries for three of you is excessive - we spend £400/month for three, and we are looking to reduce this this year. We don't drink, at all, and our greatest vice, analysing our shopping bills, seems to be very expensive yogurts. Our combined mortgage and service charges are about £900/month.
Do watch out for the impact of car insurance on two cars. If you plan to live in London (I may have missed detail on where you plan to be) you may find the insurance kills you. I have had a clean licence for 30 years with a full NCD, and it still costs me nearly a thousand a year - and I drive a relatively economical small car. It's the London factor, I'm afraid.
I know that we die a little inside at the thought of giving up certain things - I hate to sound shallow, but we'd hate to give up Sky! We never go out, and we're all addicted to sport, so it would really hurt. On the other hand, we don't really have holidays much. Perhaps you can't give up your hair colour - I'm stubborn about my piano lessons at £50 a pop. I'd need to talk DH back in from the ledge if I told him he had to buy a washable suit. We've all got our things. I think we'd sacrifice any of them if we wanted something else enough.

you cut and colour your hair every month?
I earn just under that. If I was a lone parent I'd be able to buy a nice house and have enough to pay bills etc. I love up north.

£600 for food and groceries is very high.

We spend about £475 for family of 5 (10, 8 and 4yr old dcs)

Dcs prob don't need monthly haircuts!! My ds1and 2 have hair cut once every 2-3 months.

Packed lunches rather than school lunches within our monthly food shop.

For context, we have similar housing costs, if not rather more. Dh earns approx. 40k a year. I do odd bit of freelance. Three kids. Two cars. London. We aren't pushed for money, but save less than we would like.

We almost manage on around 27k between 3 of us. We'd love to have 40k!!

well I meant live. but I do love it

Insurance for 2 cars with 3 years no claims came to £795 recently. In London though, and had cars stolen 4 years ago.

Insurance is for a 55 plate audi a3 (not hot hatch) and a 10 plate smax.

The standard of living here is pretty low, compared with most of Europe, and a lot of other places.
I pay about the same rent as you would be. No car though. My gas and electric is a lot less, but then I am cold a lot! A bit less council tax, and I got a bundle from virgin media with my broadband, phone (inc calls) and TV for about £32, so that figure can be reduced with no hardship.
But yeah, water, travel costs, gas, electric, not to mention holidays and clothes, the cost of living here is crazy.
DS and I live on less than half that , so, were I suddenly to be on 40k, I would feel rich, but that's because we are used to surviving and doing without.
However, were I used to a comfy life, I would be feeling pretty discouraged about trying to have the same comfy life over here on 40 k.
I don't blame you for worrying.

that's cheap!
I pay about £300 with ten years no claims