Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think it is reasonable that ds and debilitating stay in a hotel.

43 replies

Busybusybust · 25/12/2013 22:04

OK, bit of background.

Iam youngest of 3 children. We are all in our sixties. I am a widow and have 4 single grown up children, my sister and bil have none (not her choice - miscarriages). All my children are home for Christmas, which is very lovely. I have a 3 bedroom house, so kids doubled up in two of the bedrooms and me in my room (double room obs.).

So my sister wants to come and stay whilst the kids are here, and I have said, Ok, would be great to see you, but the house is full, but there is a travel Lodge just down the road which you could stay in. It's easy walking distance from my house.

Today, yes, Christmas Day! She rang and said that they would come down on Saturday, but just for the day, as she 'couldn't possibly stay in one of those places'. Now it's a very long way to come just for the day, and she obviously wants me to move out of my bedroom and sleep on the sofa and let them have my room. Mmmmm, not prepared to do this, given there is a alternative just down the road. AIBU?

OP posts:
Sirzy · 25/12/2013 22:06

If she is happy to do the trip in a day let her. You have told her you can't put her up and offered an alternative- up to her now what she does, but don't give in and let her stay.

NatashaBee · 25/12/2013 22:07

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TiaMariaandSpringCleaning · 25/12/2013 22:08

totally agree with Sirzy - it's her choice, if she prefers to drive then let her!

DoesntLeftoverTurkeySoupDragOn · 25/12/2013 22:09

You don't want to give up your room.
She doesn't want to stay in a Travel Lodge.

Nothing wrong with either really.

ProudAS · 25/12/2013 22:09

Should debilitating be DBIL?

SantasPelvicFloor · 25/12/2013 22:11

I would do the same as you. My bed is MY bed.

ElloGuvnor · 25/12/2013 22:15

YANBU if she really wants to visit she can stay at the travelodge. Stick to your guns and hang on to your bed.

IamInvisible · 25/12/2013 22:19

I'd pack an overnight bag, some nice snacks and a good book and bugger off to the Travellodge myself for some peace and quiet. On Sunday morning I'd have a long lie and come back at lunchtime!Xmas Wink

Original poster
Busybusybust · 25/12/2013 22:27

Yup, sorry, debilitating should be bil. (Embarrassed smiley). She is so guilt-tripping me!

OP posts:
legoplayingmumsunite · 25/12/2013 22:29

I would just assume she just wanted to come for the day. PILs have done this a few times, I had never thought to offer them our bed Confused. If they wanted to stay they could afford a hotel and the same is true of your sister, nothing wrong with a travel lodge but if she doesn't want to stay there she can go online and book a posher place a bit further away.

ProudAS · 25/12/2013 22:36

I love "Debilitating" - could use it for my BIL

MidniteScribbler · 25/12/2013 23:07

Tell her to bring an air mattress and she can sleep in the lounge. Bet the travel lodge won't sound so bad then.

Nanny0gg · 25/12/2013 23:26

Honest opinion - not very hospitable.

How often do you see her and do you actually want to see her?

Gruntfuttock · 25/12/2013 23:39

Well, I can only say what I would have done in your situation, which is to give her my bed and sleep on the sofa myself. I certainly wouldn't expect her to pay to stay at a hotel overnight.

breatheslowly · 25/12/2013 23:47

Is there a nicer hotel you cold suggest?

differentnameforthis · 26/12/2013 01:26

I would give her my bed, and get a put u up type thing in one of the rooms. I would have a bed & get one of the dc to have the put u up.

I wish my family would all get on so we could enjoy xmas like this.

And to be fair to her,Travel lodges are the utter pits.

Original poster
Busybusybust · 26/12/2013 08:36

My house is very small, and the ground flor is open plan, so sleeping on the sofa can be far from restful. They are very wealthy, so money is not the problem.

I would say that the 'I can't stay in I'm of those places' remark was followed by 'I don't think you know how ill I've been foe the past 4 weeks'. It's like I'm asking her to stay in the workhouse. There is a very posh hotel at the other side of (small) town. Should I suggest they stay there?

OP posts:
BohemianGirl · 26/12/2013 08:41

All my children are home for Christmas, which is very lovely. I have a 3 bedroom house, so kids doubled up in two of the bedrooms and me in my room (double room obs.).

Ah, I'd kick one set of kids onto the sofa Grin

DowntonTrout · 26/12/2013 08:41

There's nothing wrong with a Traveldodgy, if it's just to sleep in. It's just somewhere to go to bed. In the morning she could just get up, get ready and come back to you for breakfast. That's what we have done when visiting friends whist their spare room was out of action.

raisah · 26/12/2013 08:43

An airbed in the living room. Once she sleeps on one, she will be wishing she had stayed at the travel lodge.
Grin

raisah · 26/12/2013 08:46

Or posh hotel if she is paying. I have stayed in travel lodges when space is tight when visiting family & family. Nowt wrong with a travel lodge...

GodRestTEEMerryGenTEEmen · 26/12/2013 08:47

She's a snob. And I adore 'debilitating'.

I would say "That's fine, if you only want to come down for the day. It sounds exhausting, but it's your decision."

And end the conversation.

No one gets my bed. Ever.

ivykaty44 · 26/12/2013 08:54

Tell her she is welcome to stay for the day but it will be a very long And as she has been so I'll for four weeks this must be considered as there is no room at your place if she can't manage the drive home. Tell her to look at posh hotel details in case she feels this maybe a better solution to her trip

End

Bunbaker · 26/12/2013 09:00

If there is no room at the inn is there a spare table you could put her up in? Grin

Actually, if I had been ill for several weeks I'm not sure that I would want to share a house with 6 other adults. I would have preferred the privacy of a hotel room with an en suite bathroom.

daisychain01 · 26/12/2013 09:03

I stay at Traveldodgies on a regular basis because of work, and I would have to admit the double beds are only just big enough for one person!

If you dont mind sacrificing 1 night for the sake of family harmony, I would probably do as Iaminvisible says and hunker up down there yourself! At least you will get a decent night's sleep.

Will all of your DCs still be there on Saturday?

Hopefully your DSis will pay for you, it will be about £40-60 max.