To think it is reasonable that ds and debilitating stay in a hotel.

[Busybusybust]

OK, bit of background.

Iam youngest of 3 children. We are all in our sixties. I am a widow and have 4 single grown up children, my sister and bil have none (not her choice - miscarriages). All my children are home for Christmas, which is very lovely. I have a 3 bedroom house, so kids doubled up in two of the bedrooms and me in my room (double room obs.).

So my sister wants to come and stay whilst the kids are here, and I have said, Ok, would be great to see you, but the house is full, but there is a travel Lodge just down the road which you could stay in. It's easy walking distance from my house.

Today, yes, Christmas Day! She rang and said that they would come down on Saturday, but just for the day, as she 'couldn't possibly stay in one of those places'. Now it's a very long way to come just for the day, and she obviously wants me to move out of my bedroom and sleep on the sofa and let them have my room. Mmmmm, not prepared to do this, given there is a alternative just down the road. AIBU?

perhaps she just wants to be there for the day.

i woudl just leave her to her own plans.

stable, not table. D'oh!

There is nothing wrong with a Travelodge; she will get a double room with ensuite. Much more comfortable than trying to cram too many people into too small a house. There is no fancy facilities but she doesn't need that because she will be spending most of the time at yours. She sounds as if she is both being snobbish and trying to guilt trip you. As she is not short of money, I would also suggest the more up-market hotel.

I would feel the same as you but I'd give in and let them have my bed in the end. I stayed in a travelodge a few months ago when we extended our holiday, truth be told, I'd never stay in one again. It felt like we were staying in some sort of hide out for criminals and similar. Our room was never cleaned, not even for when we arrived and when we asked about it we were made to feel as of it was a high expectation. The room was absolutely disgusting and they couldn't even give me a rubber mat for the shower (nice shiny surface) despite the fact I was 7 months pregnant and worried about slipping.

Don't do this to your DS, it's nice that they want to visit you.

I don't think you're unreasonable. My husband is from Northern Ireland, earlier this year his whole family were visiting his parents. This included his brother, sil and 2 kids, sis and 2 kids, and brother and partner. There wasn't the room in the inlays for all of us. My mil asked if we'd stop in the b&b across the road. His brother is gay and we're talking small town Northern Ireland and she was worried the owner maybe homophobic if bil and his partner stopped there, which is understandable. It wasn't a problem for us.

is there a nice bed and breakfast near you?

I think you are being a tiny bit U.

I would have kipped on the sofa/airbed or belted one of your adult children out of their bedrooms for one night.

"I think you are being a tiny bit U."

I don't. The house is crammed already.

DH stayed at a Travelodge after his work Xmas party and didnt notice how scummy it was when he arrived. In the morning he noticed that the mattress smelt of stale urine and there was a pair of knickers behind the bathroom door. These genuinely weren't of DH's doing. Travelodges can be scummy. However if an alternative is available then suggest that.

I love travelodges. I hate feeling ripped off (am naturally tight) and travelodges tick all the boxes for me, comfy beds, nice showers, bargain.
I've never had a bad stay and I've stayed in plenty.
She's a snob. Sod her.

Still think you're being inhospitable and your children could give up a bed (good manners).

No one gets my bed. Ever.

Don't get that statement. It's a bed, for goodness sake.

I'm a bit at the poster who said the double bed was only just big enough for one person.
That would have been a single bed then as a double bed is, erm, double bed sized.

Yes it's a bed.

It's my bed.

I have many chronic pain issues. I sure as hell am not making myself feel poorly for the sake of someone who can pay for a hotel room.

A lot of travelodges have been refurbished and are great.

I would take her at her word. She can choose to do it in a day or stay at her own expense in a convenient hotel. Up to her isn't it?

My bed is not up for negotiation. Its mine. Thats it.

I think there are two kinds of families aren't there? I regularly stay at a Premier Inn when visiting my sister, she lives in a two bedroom flat with a flatmate, I have a DH and 3 kids. Far better for us to be in a hotel than take over her house. IMHO. I'd rather stay in a hotel than be squashed into a house that isn't big enough and I'd always take her for a meal out.

But I know my ILs are very much the take advantage of other people to reduce their own costs stay at the family home and enjoy the family cooking kind of people. Both kinds of family think the other is selfish so you will get people thinking you are unreasonable and people like me who think your DSis and BIL should either come at another time or pay for a hotel and preferably for a meal out for everyone as well to save you cooking for 7 adults several times a day.

I'm a bit at the poster who said the double bed was only just big enough for one person That would have been a single bed then as a double bed is, erm, double bed sized

WhereDoAllTheCalculatorsGo you made me lol - yes I know it sounded like a dumber than dumb comment about the double bed, but just to explain, I regularly stay at 3 different Travelodges and the beds are very saggy in the middle so it means I have to sleep in the middle to get any support.

My DH is 6ft 2 and I honestly couldn't imagine us getting any sleep, as our bed at home is a King coz he's a big oaf and I reckon the T/l beds are the smallest double available (4ft 6?). I think nowadays there are lots of doubles (4ft6, 5ft, king, superking).