Upset by trainer at gym, aibu?

[Gymphobicmum]

I probably am. :)

I'll start off by explaining that in June I was a lot heavier than I am, 5 stone heavier to be precise. I have worked so hard and got down to 12 and a half stone. I am 5 foot 3 inches, so I am aware I'm still overweight but I have had SO many lovely comments and was feeling quite good.

I do want to lose another 2 and a half stone to bring me to a healthy BMI, and to do this decided to join a gym to go to in the new year. So I had an appointment today (quiet time of year they said!) to get me used to the machines and all that.

Anyway, firstly I was grilled as to why I wanted to join, I explained I wanted to get fit as I currently do NOTHING but I kept being 'steered' towards talking about my weight. "Any other reasons/ are you interested in nutrition/do you want to lose weight?" Well, I do, but to be honest it's very personal and I don't want to talk about it with the trainers yet. So I said just general fitness was ok, was my aim.

So I am shown around the machines and all was fine but the first comment that upset me a bit was the stomach exercises. I was told 'you'll need this, it's a great exercise for getting your spare tyre down!' Ok, I DO have a spare tyre but ... Then I was forced to do a load of other exercises for 'flabby arms, saggy buttocks, wobbly legs!'

I honestly was upset but not that much, I just thought 'general woman target areas' and then I was done. I was then asked again if I wanted to lose weight and since I obviously do, I said yes as I thought saying no would sound stupid, it's just I'm not using the gym as a weight loss tool but a health/fitness tool. But anyway I was told to stand on the scales. Sharp intake of breath and I am told I am 12 and a half stone, 5 foot three inches and therefore am 'obese' and at risk of all sorts of horrible illnesses and at that point I did lose patience and said thanks for the compliments but I'd decided not to go ahead.

I know they couldn't have known I had already lost a lot of weight but I really feel shit. Why didn't they just accept someone joining the gym to join? My friend goes and only ever uses the sauna and steam room. I just want to improve my outlook on life and I have felt so good lately but now I just want to finish the mince pies and clotted cream and devour the quality streets as obviously no matter how much weight I have lost I still look like a cow!

Please be nice, aibu?M

YANBU and I'd have burst into tears tbh. You've done so well to lose the weight you have! I'm desperately trying to shift a good few stone and I know it's really tough going, so pat yourself on the back for that and find a better gym.

MadasaFish - thats always what gives away the concern troll motives, isn't it? Olympic weightlifters are fit as fuck and yet, mysteriously, they are not size zeroes.

Yes, you can be fat and fit, of course you can.

And research shows that if you are fat and fit, you are less likely to die early than if you are thin and unfit.

So trying to improve your health outcomes by losing weight through dieting alone is much less effective than exercising.

It's been said already, OP, but don't let this experience put you off! You've done amazingly well so far.

FWIW, my experience of the gym induction has tended to be a really generic "and this will really get rid of those flabby bits" yadda yadda yadda rather than anything specific to me. I first joined the gym when recovering from anorexia and have joined various gyms at assorted stages of my body shape - to be honest, I've had the same talk every time.

I wonder if they have an additional nutrition service they wanted to flog make you aware of? (cynical me)

However, you don't really encounter the trainers again and can pretty much do your own thing once you've been shown how to use the machines safely. PTs, however, are much more about understanding your particular goals and helping you progress - I started training in a small group with a PT and I've been driven a lot further than I ever was when following a programme in a gym. My PT is fantastic - if you're in the South East I wish I could introduce you.

I'm sure your gym has other trainers, OP. Find one to have another session with and forget about this one. Some trainers can be quite matter of fact and to you, your weight loss is significant but they don't know about it, they only see you as you are now.

Don't let your sensitivity derail you from your goals, you're doing so well.

My GP did this the other week. I got the lines about healthy living and did I think I should change my diet and do more exercise? I replied no given that the weight they put in the computer was underneath my previous one which showed I had lost 3 stone since the last time. If they were not going to be bothered to look at my progress then I could not be bothered to explain this to them. I also felt I had answered correctly as I didn't feel it necessary to change my diet/exercise as it is clear that what I am doing already is working! Well done you on your loss so far.

It makes me LOL when I see the daft waste of time stuff recommend by most gym PTS, he sounds like a Pratt