to not want my 6 year old DD to spend tomorrow cooking?

[PintameElCielo]

I think I am.

DH's family are Spanish and MIL has just started teaching DD how to cook. I have really mixed feelings about it- if she were a boy she would not be in the kitchen, but she adores spending the time with MIL and I do think it's important that she understands the culture. The cooking effort for Christmas starts tomorrow at SILs and DD and I have been invited. She is desperate to go but I dunno, I just don't want her to be another woman stuck in the kitchen while the men sit on their arses and do nothing.

I say let her take part in the fun of cooking but luck DH up the arse to say 'right, come on the ladies have cooked this delicious food so it's our turn to clear away and wash up'. And insist on it. Seriously, there really is no excuse for penis owners to be treated like fecking royalty while those with tits behave like their slaves.

Kick not luck!

Why would you not let her do something that she loves ? Your MIL is great wanting to teach her , I learnt how to make apple pie from my Grandma at a young age and I can still remember her kitchen the aga and her pie plate/ dish and that was probably 40 years ago. She is only 6 FGS and if next week she wants to take dance lessons would you stop her as they are deemed feminine?

Rosa - after making the apple pie did you have to bow and scrape to a table of men, serve them and clear their shit up afterwards while they did feck all?

A large proportion of my extended family are ultra-Orthodox Jews, with very strictly defined gender-roles. The women, of course, do most of the domestic work. I spent a lot if time with them throughout my childhood and early adulthood. I had to conform to their rules. I enjoyed myself, had no issues discussing and debating their rules with them, and grew up with no illusions that women exist to serve men. I wish I still had contact with them so that my dc could experience this part of their cultural heritage.

My db also spent time with our extended family, on the males'side, of course, and has turned out a hard-working man who cooks, does whatever needs doing, and supports his OH. OK, he uses 15 saucepans to make an ice-cream and often needs reminding to wash up, but then I do too.

We are here. DH is washing up!! MIL and FIL are utterly baffled. MIL is restraining herself from wrestling him out of her kitchen.

soldeinvierno, those are my jobs where I can do the least damage!!!

I'm half Spanish and the situation you describe is very familiar to me.

When I was growing up those hours in the kitchen with my sister, Grandmother and Aunts were some of the best family times I had.

I never did like the way my dad and brother sat on their arses but the fact they did so meant my sister and I have chosen partners who expect to be equal in terms of doing housework/cooking/childcare. We both agree that our formative experience (of sexism) played a big part of shaping our own views on the roles of men/women in the home.

Give your daughter some credit. She's not going to be that easy to brainwash. If you had sons then I can see why you'd be concerned but in this case, let her cook.

Haha, love it OP!

Natweb, my grandfather was dead , my father was working so it was all females .
I like others have married into a culture where this was the norm in the previous generation. My FIL never lifted a finger. MIL accepts that her ds does things differently , she might find it hard at times . Dh does his bit and he also knows how to make an apple pie !!!!!!!!!!

Glad to hear it Rosa.

If she wants to do it, then I would let her. This used to happen with my GPs and my gran would even pop out of the kitchen to top up the men's drinks as they were busy playing table tennis/reading the paper etc. which enraged me. I have done most of the planning for Xmas, shopping, cards etc. (I love it!) My DH will cook tomorrow as he's far better than I am and enjoys it. You and your DH will have far more influence on your DD in any case. I would feel differently if you had a DS who was not invited to join in though. I expect my DD and DS to help out in the house and my DS is more interested in cooking.