AIBU think that charity gifts should only be given if that's what the addressee whishes?

[WidowWadman]

I mean goats and such like. Doesn't it just convey the message of "I couldn't be arsed to buy you something you might like, so here's the receipt for that charity donation I made to make myself feel better"?

I'd go mad if someone got me a goat for Xmas.

The sender looks so virtuous though don't you think?
I don't like all this buying goats stuff. Just donate the money quietly and say you're not buying gifts this year.

I find that many people who give goats would have a right cob on if you did it for them in return. Maybe that's the way to go. If they think it's a great idea, then they'll love it if you do it for them, right?

Oh yes! Buy them a goat back!

Or maybe not.

I'd be happy with a goat/charity donation.

But I can see that people would find it all a bit twee and 'look at me I'm so naice'.

YANBU

One Christmas, one dear old relic smugly said they had bought all manner of chickens and fertiliser for the developing world on our behalf, and graciously accepted a big pile of presents. Said relic has received many hoes and watering cans and vaccinations as presents ever since and is slightly catsbum faced about it. Good.

I think donating to charity is something one does for oneself. If someone said to me 'I'm going to give ££ to charity for you for Christmas' tbh I'd like some say in which one. Not that I wouldn't give to Oxfam, but I wouldn't want to give to the Twilight Home for Distressed Gerbils.

We did it for MIL one year as she was so rude in previous years about presents we had got for her.

Mum wanted to sponsor a tiger for me for my birthday this year. I said no when it turned out that the tiger wouldn't be coming to live with us!

I did it a a Fuck You wedding present for a ridiculously grabby, materialistic and unpleasant relative.

It was rather satisfying .

Said relic has received many hoes and watering cans and vaccinations as presents ever since and is slightly catsbum faced about it. Good.

We once did it for an ex boss, because he was a fuckhead and we were pretty much forced into doing a collection.

He was pleasingly gutted, but couldn't complain.

My SIL asked for a Water Well for her 60th. I thought it was a brilliant idea.

But I suppose the difference is that she asked for it.

She is very unmaterialistic and lives quite frugally.

See if someone wanted to do a charity donation on my behalf that's fine BUT I would like to choose the charity. I would resent money being given in my name to someone else's favourite cause.

charity is a very personal thing and what to one is a great cause isn't to someone else and vice versa.

I think it's just smug tbh to give goats as Christmas, although I can see the appeal if it's to someone who is generally grabby.

I think those charity catalogues are a good thing, generally. I've heard of people having them as wedding lists, top idea unless you do actually need 47 toasters.

But it's very much a gift you can only give IF it's been asked for.

YANBU. If someone wants to donate to charity, they should deny themselves something, rather than cancelling someone else's Christmas present. The charitable way is to ask for one in lieu of one's own present.

SDT you had a lucky escape www.thedailymash.co.uk/news-in-pictures/news-briefly/reader-offer-201201074739

Ok, I'll bite. What an ungrateful bunch!

The best present I got when my DS was born was a vaccination and medicines kit so that one child born at the same time in a disadvantaged country could a few of the same chances as my precious, lucky, lucky baby. I'm pretty hard but I sobbed when I got that (in a good way).

I genuinely think that it is a lovely gift and would happily receive it. The materialism in this country is crazy.

We had this one year. The relative asked what we wanted. We gave modest requests/ideas.
Then on Christmas day, opened an envelope saying they had bought Oxfam chickens.
Needless to say, they got presents to open.
Problem is you can't say anything without looking grabby.
If my present is a donation to charity, I would at least like to choose which charity.

Ah see kitten but that is a thoughtful and personal gift given to you in reflection of the fact you had just had a baby. So I can see why that would be touching.

If someone had given you a a goat sponsorship I don't think you would have felt so touched.

I have bought my 13 year old DGD an OXFAM farming donation amongst other stocking fillers as her main present is money. This is because I know her well and have already heard her mentioning that Christmas is quite commercial and her younger siblings and cousins tend to have so much they cannot enjoy it all.

I think the gift if given to someone you do not know well or do not think would appreciate the sentiment is not really a gift but your own charity giving.