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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Shoplifting..... So desperate at Christmas

324 replies

stubbs0412 · 20/12/2013 12:33

Not me btw
Whilst waiting in supermarket queue someone was escorted out by the police...."shoplifters" says the cashier. "Well, people are just so desperate this time of year aren't they?" Says the person in front of me. I could feel myself actually agreeing, is this u? R my morals slipping? I honestly don't think I would report someone I saw shoplifting food either.

OP posts:
mathanxiety · 21/12/2013 15:16

Well said, 3asAbird.

Darkesteyes · 21/12/2013 15:20

math you have posted what i was going to. Just because a woman is married to a bank manager who earns a decent wage doesnt mean that she or DC get to see or spend any of it.

plentyofsoap · 21/12/2013 15:29

The law is there for a reason. 99.9 per cent of shoplifters are well practised criminials.

3asAbird · 21/12/2013 15:29

Thanks guys just think people seem to think its easy on here being poor not realising no one to borrow of benefots can take ages , council dident seem concerened we had 3 young kids.

we got through it and worry in holidays as equally kids in summer holidays can go equally hungry without free school dinners .

people need to get ideas luxury items out their head and think ok how much do I need to buy the basics.

every one was critical of jamie oliver as lot of his recipes included stuff he had in store cupboard.

Wllisonson agree its hard sometimes hubby does 7pm ones but m&s food, co-op and small saisnburys do some good reductions tea time so we go after school as up high street.

last night got 3bags full for £ 6 included chicken kieves fresh 59p, gammon 2pack 55p,bluberries 55p, bread 19p and 25p. cheese 59p,readmeal 99p, huge pizza 99p so few meal options even if its reduced sausages thats casserole served with rice or potatoes. I keep stock, selection cheap packet mixes, tinned tomatoes, passata,rice and pasta so always whip something up depends whats on offer or reduced. we have large chest freezer s most gets frozen and only get fancy fruits when reduced same with salads.

co-ops very good on sunday afternoon its 20min walk 3kids no ideal but i manage with them even when hubby is with me fodshopping can be stressful.

wed do mains shops between farmfoods with money off coupons, use mostly frozen veg, lidls or aldis both long walk and bus route.

do odd bits in poundshops if cheap especially non food items.

it really does take time.

we have long pay month jan so boxing day we get loads redued chickens and normally spend very little in jan as living off reduced stuff.

Rufustherednosedreindeer · 21/12/2013 15:31

Just because you believe stealing is wrong it doesn't mean that you are not sympathetic towards someone who feels that they have to steal
to survive

Same with any other "crime" there are frequently "good" reasons why people commit them, doesn't mean that they are all of a sudden not crimes

grumpyoldbat · 21/12/2013 15:59

Who said being poor was easy?

mathanxiety · 21/12/2013 16:04

84.7% of statistics are made up on the spot.

Grumpyoldbat, one poster upthread said welfare was so generous people chose it as a lifestyle.

grumpyoldbat · 21/12/2013 16:08

So people don't think being poor is easy one person does. Or one person over and above IDS.

gordyslovesheep · 21/12/2013 16:18

Leftkidney you constant linking of any statement or post that shows the mildest wiff of compassion, understanding, tolerance or empathy as 'left wing' is bloody brilliant Grin it just serves to reinforce my pride in being a wishy washy liberal - thanks Thanks

ElfontheShelfIsWATCHINGYOUTOO · 21/12/2013 17:19

What about the supermarkets stealing and cheating us and using every con in the book to make us confused and spend more than we need to!

I cant stand supermarkets and if I saw someone stealing something modest I would turn a blind eye.

Will the supermarket survive yes....

mathanxiety · 21/12/2013 17:40

One poster upthread said 'welfare is generous'. That does not mean only one person has said being poor is easy. I posted only one example of a statement that being poor is easy partly because it was an extreme example.

There are others saying people should suck it up and live a deprived life if that's your lot. And many people on the breadline do lead a deprived life and always have, and it is a depressing lot indeed. It's four days to Christmas and I am busy and can't be arsed tracking down all the examples of posts saying tough shit if you're poor.

I wouldn't steal. But I can see situations where people do and I have sympathy for them. It takes an awful lot of swallowed pride to approach a foodbank for your allotted visits.

grumpyoldbat · 21/12/2013 18:06

Two wrongs don't make a right elf.

I know how hard it is to be poor math I've been there. I don't think people should blindly accept it but stealing isn't the answer, it's wrong. I wouldn't have the job I have now if I'd resorted to stealing at rock bottom.

Corporate immorality is a separate issue which should be campaigned against. However you can't go around saying x does bad thing 1 so I'll do bad thing 2. Otherwise where does it stop. Complete anarchy? If that happens it will still be the poor who suffer most.

Wallison · 21/12/2013 18:23

I don't see how the poor would suffer most under 'complete anarchy'. They'd probably be a damn sight better off than they are now. It's the rich who want to be worried.

WomanScorned · 21/12/2013 19:46

Thought I'd answer those who suggest begging, rather than shoplifting. Shoplifting is safer. It takes some doing to place yourself at the mercy of passersby on a city street. It makes you very vulnerable, vulnerable to verbal abuse, vulnerable to physical attack, vulnerable to sleazy men who kindly take you for a pizza, then expect sexual favours in return. It is humiliating, frightening and dangerous. I was once hit over the head with a bottle, by a large, drunk man, who then kicked me repeatedly, in full view of a bus queue, who turned a blind eye until one man said "that's enough, now" after my tights had been ripped off of me, and my hair was soaked in my own blood. I was 19. The lad I was begging with ran off and left me. I don't blame him, I just wish he'd ran faster the day he was kicked to death by a man who took offence at being asked for his spare change.

DeWe · 21/12/2013 20:29

When I was a student I was in ELC and saw a young man come in, slip a couple of jigsaws into his coat and leave. I didn't say anything. There was no way he was blackmarketing them-total cost was less than £10, so I reckoned they were going direct to his children. He was neatly dressed, but looked quite emotional, and I've often thought about him. I wondered if he was going to contact time with his children. Sad

However, I know someone who owns a shop, and she has times when the slim margin of profit is taken away by shoplifting. So you may think, "oh they're desperate, so it doesn't matter"-but that could take away someone else's livelihood.

Darkesteyes · 21/12/2013 22:32

Woman scorned that is horrific. Im so sorry Sad Thanks

WomanScorned · 21/12/2013 23:14

Thanks - it was a long time ago, and I'm relatively unscathed. My own son is the same age now as I was then. He does a crappy minimum wage retail job, and couldn't live independently on what he earns. I pity any youngster solely reliant on the benefit system as it is, now. I would turn a blind eye to shoplifting, as I would rather my shopping cost a pound a week more and someone desperate ate.

McPheelingUpSanta · 21/12/2013 23:32

I work in retail, and a few weeks ago we had a pair of 'lifters' in, who stole clothing. A couple of my colleagues chased them down the road, like Cagney and Lacey, whilst we called security.

Once the police had caught up with them, we were told they couldn't arrest them because they had a baby with them? Is that the way it works then? Bring a baby, and get away with it?

Thankfully, we got our goods back.

Darkesteyes · 21/12/2013 23:44

WS my nephew is still living at home for similar reasons Hes 28 next month.

IneedAsockamnesty · 21/12/2013 23:57

What utter bollocks.

No having a baby with you does not prevent arrest

olidusUrsus · 22/12/2013 01:47

Because I do this I was hugely pissed off when I spent £90 I'd saved on clothes for ds2 and they were left in a mcdonalds by dsd, never to be seen again.

Maybe someone saw the bags unattended and returned them to the shop listed on the receipts Hmm

GhettoPrincess001 · 22/12/2013 02:01

I have difficulty believing the opening description of what happened.

The cashier would have know better to comment. I accept that someone might have thought the person being escorted was desperate, but everyone pays for shoplifted goods through higher prices.

The poor don't steal, only thieves steal.

A lot of shoplifting, as has been said before up thread, is to be sold on the 'black market'.

mathanxiety · 22/12/2013 02:56

It does matter that people steal, but it also matters that some of them are desperate.

PariahHairy · 22/12/2013 04:28

A big cheer for Cliff and Custardo on this thread, they argued their points succinctly and without vitriol and I agree with every one of them Smile.

mrstigs · 22/12/2013 07:22

If im being honest i cant get myself that worked up against shoplifting. Ive been skint in my time. Ive had my kids nappies in the bottom of the pram knowing paying for them plus the basics in my basket will take every last penny and if i just 'forgot' to pay for them I'd have a few pounds more to buy more food and not be hungry. I've considered it. In the end i was always too scared to get into trouble but any hungrier and yes, maybe i would have done it. After all it wasnt morals that stopped me, just fear of the police and the possible embarrasment.

Personally i prefer to hate on the MPs and large corporations who seem to take great pride in taking all they can from us. They dont even need to hide it anymore do they, us proles are powerless as far as they are concerned. Sure, i could hate them and still hate petty criminals, but i choose to just hate the fat cats instead.