To want to take a photo or two of my daughters in their nativity?

[BabylonReturns]

Just that really.

Text from school this morning to say photos and videos are banned.

Really annoyed as is dd2s first school nativity, and I've recorded the last 4 with dd1 in, no problem.

I'm wondering why there are such differences in the way different schools approach this. It's down to the Head Teacher, I suppose, but surely the risks are the same wherever?
You couldn't move for cameras at something we did in school today, one with a flipping foot-long telephoto lens. All we were lacking were tripods and step-ladders. Where's the consistency?

Maybe their are no at risk children in your school clam?

There are 10 to my certain knowledge who are not to be photographed.

I have no issue with no photos.I don't think with social media it is right to put vulnerable children at risk.whilst I would never post pictures of other people's kids lots would. In Dd 3 school last year the reception teaching assistants took snaps of all the children during the dress rehearsal and the children made them into Christmas cards for parents and brought them home on the last day.

Not looking for a bun fight, but are there are documented cases of estranged parents tracking down their children on FBI via nativity photos?

This seems to be trotted out every year.

Last year, on one such thread a poster came on and told us what happened when her abusive ex found her and her children because someone had taken photos when they weren't supposed to, and then put those photos out in the public domain.

He followed her from their childs school. Broke into her home. Raped her repeatedly and left her beaten and broken and unconscious. All in front of her children. She spent over a week in intensive care.

And all because someone just had to have a photo of their little darling in the school concert.

Times change. We now live in a world where technology has made it possible for people to easily put other people's children at risk. That is not going to change back. Saying 'we have done it for years' is not an answer to new problems.

The answer is for establishments where lots of children are gathered to be vigilant about stopping filming and photography of whole groups of children. It's the only way. (apart from excluding young children, often already from damaging backgrounds, from normal activities with their peers - which is hardly the way forward)

In the interests of child safety i cannot for the life of me see how anyone could object.

• The risks to these children are real.
• No one is saying you cant have or take a pic of your child - you just cant take them willy-nilly in the middle of a group activity anymore.
• Accepting an individual photos taken by the yourself or staff in more controlled conditions, just before or just after the event, is hardly a massive sacrifice is it?

demented That is beyond horrific, there are just no words. All they have been through and yet, some posters on here would still have those children excluded. It's so fucking selfish!

I cannot believe that after reading that heartbreaking story, that anyone would still think it's their right to take photos at school because they want a pic of their DCs.

You know, a lot of our children are amazingly lucky. From the time they were born they have had parents who love them and look after them and keep them safe.

Other children, the children who this rule is there to protect, have had to live through things that are unimaginable.
The wonderful people that have got them out of that situation, the people who are now caring for them are trying to do everything possible to keep them safe and to help them get over the trauma of the past.

And people think that, in spite of all that, they should be allowed to take photos still?
Or think its appropriate to ask these young DCs to get off the stage so they can photograph their own children? Or hide them in animal costumes?

Can you honestly not imagine what is is like to be the parent or carer of a child who, above all, needs to know they are safe? That they are protected? That they won't have to go back to the situation they were removed from?

The one thing we all want is to keep our DCs safe. It's instinct to protect your DCs.
Some DCs, through no fault of their own, need more protection than others. Having a photo of them put on FB could have the most devastating effect on their lives.

How the actual fuck can you know this and still complain that you can't take pictures of your DC? When that one little photo could cause so much damage to a child, if seen by the wrong person?

Sometimes, just sometimes, the world doesn't revolve around your DC. You have to look at the potential consequences and suck it up and take a photo at home.

oh god deemented that poor woman there is no words really

What the horrible story below actually tells you is that telling people not to take photos is NOT a solution to the problem.

People take photos all the time....you can't protect these children by asking people not to do that. You need to protect them by taking rapist abusive exs off the streets surely?

Oblomov - I take your point about there being so many occasions on which a child can be filmed - maybe the issue with the school play is that a photo of a child in a school play can identify both the child and the school they attend. Doing this means that someone trying to find that child for malign reasons knows exactly where they are going to be, every day of the school year, whereas a picture of them at an exhibition or village fete etc might be a one-off visit to that location, and doesn't tell someone where they are going to be on such a regular and frequent basis as school.

I had a ban on DS1 being on photos while at nursery. We had not long left my ex due to DV and I was far happier with him not knowing exactly where we were or where he could find DS. It sounds extreme but when someone has both threatened and then tried to kill you it's not. I would just love to share pics of DS2's plays etc but the nursery have a personal use only policy and I stick to it because of my earlier experiences.

At DS1 and DS2's school the parents aren't allowed to take photos during the play, just one of their child at the end. People ignore this though and put photos and videos of groups of children on facebook. I only caught a glimpse of DS2 in his nativity play today as I spent most of it outside because 6mo DS4 decided it was a good time to start crying and DH couldn't get time off work to come. It would have been nice to have a dvd to watch at home or some official photos taken but better to avoid putting other children in danger.

Well, a parent posted pics of our nativity on facebook last night, and the head told the parents at the next performance that it was unacceptable, they had signed to say they wouldn't do it, and that it was for 'confidentiality reasons', after all school has to get parents' permission to post photos and while parents were posting photos of their own DC, there will be other children in the photo who may have a genuine reason for not wanting their photo published. Or something like that. She also said that if it happened again she would have to stop photos being taken at all.

Personally I like having a "no filming/pictures during nativity" rule. I wish our school would adopt it, but apparently no safeguarding issues with any particular children in nativity as it was allowed. People all standing up to film or take pictures, blocking fire exits, and getting in the way, waving their ipads to take pictures FFS. Just unreal.

I'd rather just sit and enjoy the programme and then take a few pictures of DC afterwards in costume and that's fine IMO.

Our HT specifically mentioned that while photos were allowed to be taken they were not to be posted on social networking sites. I know for a fact a number of people (that I know) have done exactly this. Just another case of people suffering from "the rules don't apply to me"- itis.