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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To want to take a photo or two of my daughters in their nativity?

118 replies

BabylonReturns · 16/12/2013 23:29

Just that really.

Text from school this morning to say photos and videos are banned.

Really annoyed as is dd2s first school nativity, and I've recorded the last 4 with dd1 in, no problem.

Xmas Hmm
OP posts:
HandragsNGladbags · 17/12/2013 19:41

Our school send a picture home of each dc in their outfit which is lovely and stops all the pictures and flashes going off.

Its quite clear surely that one child's safety is more important than a picture of the other 29?

fluffyraggies · 17/12/2013 19:58

At our primary parents managed quite nicely to pop to the stage front at the end of performance, and take a quick snap of their child in costume if they wanted. The children would join their teacher as soon as the pic was done, and the parents/guardians of any children who were vulnerable took their own photo, just the same, or just came up for a big hug.

No one left out, no one's safety compromised.

tiggytape · 17/12/2013 20:02

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

CrohnicallySick · 17/12/2013 20:06

FortyDoors- to be honest I don't think the children even notice (at our school anyway). We either take a load of action shots and delete the ones that child x appears in, send child x on an errand while photos are taken, place them on the end and deliberately cut them off with the camera, something like that. We have on one occasion (to my knowledge) had to intervene and remove a child from a photo that was being posed, and we simply said that mummy didn't want their photo taken. If you don't make a big deal of it, the children won't (in infants anyway)

CrohnicallySick · 17/12/2013 20:08

I mean if the staff take the photos, obviously it will be trickier if the parents are taking them

candycoatedwaterdrops · 17/12/2013 20:09

People are so fucking selfish (not you OP :)) about this.

candycoatedwaterdrops · 17/12/2013 20:09

Sorry some people....

FortyDoorsToNowhere · 17/12/2013 20:10

My DD would notice, She loves her picture being taken. She would notice even at the young age of 4.

I have no issue with her photo being taken or for it to be shared on facebook. It's just a picture.

CrohnicallySick · 17/12/2013 20:26

In which case we'd take one. And delete it straight away!

CrohnicallySick · 17/12/2013 20:28

Anyway, if you're happy for her picture to be shared, you can sign the bit of paper saying that, and she'd be included in all the pictures that staff take.

superbagpuss · 17/12/2013 20:41

I have signed the no pictures of my children form at school

within an hour of my DC nativity a parent had posted a picture inc my DC up on Fb

luckily a mutual friend saw it and forwarded it to me so I could make a decision whether to say something or not

as they were at the back and turned away I kept quiet

however I don't care how rude or entitled I sound, I am not letting anything get in the way of me keeping my DC safe (history I don't want to get into). you should never post a picture of a child onto any social media without that parents permission

ProudAS · 17/12/2013 21:51

Wouldn't it be easier to have children who can't be photographed playing animals so that they can have their face covered by a mask?

JingleHumps · 17/12/2013 21:55

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ProudAS · 17/12/2013 21:56

I do agree however that the time for photos is not during the play.

ProudAS · 17/12/2013 22:01

I can see summer concerts being a bit trickier but nativity plays lend themselves better to animal characters.

I actually heard about a case 10 years ago (before facebook really took off) where there were concerns about footage of vulnerable child in nativity play falling into wrong hands but they were allayed when it transpired that he was wearing a mask.

Oblomov · 17/12/2013 22:15

My first post ? about a child sleeping safely a night?
what are you talking about?
Are you talking about my second post? where I quote a previous poster? moomoomie? It was HER who refered to a child being snatched. I was quoting HER.
If you are going to quote me, make sure you read the thread and realise I was responding to another poster?

IT WAS HER who refered to a child being snatched. I did not see any one else refer to a child being snatched.

If you are going to quote me, please get it right.

Oblomov · 17/12/2013 22:16

That was to Oddfodd

OddFodd · 17/12/2013 22:29

Apologies Oblomov, I conflated your post with another one. I've reread it though and I think your proposal is really unkind. Asking a child who has probably had a traumatic start to life to exit stage left so that all the 'normal' children can appear in a photo is vile.

Oblomov · 17/12/2013 22:31

Tiggytape and others , who are having a go at ME and others about not being able to take photos.

I totally disagree with you.
And I have every sympathy with a child who is in danger, or adopted, or for whatever reasons may not be able to have their photo taken.

BUT, they are going to come across that a lot. Presumably?
More and more these days. In all sorts of circumstances.Every church fete, every fair, every , photos taken everywhere.
So, some step parents, as one said earlier on this thread, may not be able to take this said child to the summer fete etc.
And that is a real shame. I have every sympathy.

BUT, it doesn't mean other children can't go to the fete. Have thier photo taken.
Photos have been taken for years at schools. nativity's and end of year class photos.

I have never put these on facebook. I understand that danger.
But I don't see why the other children shouldn't be able to have their photo taken, on what is quite a normal exercise.

Many people have their childlren's photos taken at birth, or with santa. they are in the paper.

Ours school does a reception photo, within the first few weeks, of all the reception children, in all the local schools, in the paper.

So these particular children, would not have been able to be included in that, would they?

But it is the norm. Has been for years. So why derive the other children of it?

So these children already know that they aren't included in photos? pre the nativity, right? so presumably the parents of the endangered children/ adopted child have already HAD to have this difficult conversation?

tiggytape · 17/12/2013 22:33

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Oblomov · 17/12/2013 22:36

Oddfodd, see my next post.
we have x posted.
It will have likely, already happened, on the '1st day of school photo' that goes in many local papers.

Many parents may have already had this difficult conversation.

What % of the children in each year are in danger?
What % can't have their photo taken?

And I don't mean just for facebook? I mean at all?

It has got to be a very small %.
these children are going to be excluded. In may ways . In life. In order to protect them.

I am afraid it has to be this way.

but it doesn't stop the other 95% of the children wanting their phots taken , in the nativity, does it?

Ds2 couldn't wait for us to go and see his nativity. Wanted us to take loads of photos. Couldn't wait to see them.
I consider that normal.

Oblomov · 17/12/2013 22:37

oh Tiggy Hmm

FreudiansSlipper · 17/12/2013 22:41

ffs most of our parents managed to happily enjoy the nativity play without having to take loads of pictures

why not just enjoy the moment take pictures later

hardly a big deal unless you want to make it one it is done for a very very important reasons

tiggytape · 17/12/2013 22:44

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

OddFodd · 17/12/2013 22:55

What tiggy said. Social networking is a relatively new phenomenon and that's where the risk is. Times have changed and risks have increased. And yes of course children at risk will always be at risk but a secondary aged child is at much less risk than a primary aged one