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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think that my mum sending me a card with from 'our house to yours' is a bit weird

27 replies

sincitylover · 16/12/2013 12:18

I might be overthinking this and I don't actually send many Christmas cards anymore except to family.

I got this card from my parents to me and my two dcs - just thought it was slightly odd - isn't this the type of card you usually send to neighbours?

There is some history - we have never got on in the traditional mother daughter way. I must admit I am feeling quite hurt and weird about this.

OP posts:
CogitoErgoSometimes · 16/12/2013 12:25

YANBU.... deeply impersonal. Also a slightly odd/Pythonesque concept of anthropomorphic houses independently wishing each other Happy Christmas. Confused

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 16/12/2013 12:29

There's a possibility that she just might really have liked the picture on the front and sent it? I know those cards. To be honest, I don't even give my family Christmas cards anymore because I see them all the time. Do you think she meant anything by it?

I know you say that there's history but regarding cards, I've often dithered between sending my niece a really beautiful card with the word 'niece' on it OR a mediocre-in-my-opinion card which doesn't say 'niece' but has a badge of some sort on it with her age on. She likes badges... so beautiful card stays in shop.

What I'm trying to say, in too many words, is that she might have picked the card for reasons that have nothing to do with your history or what you perceive it to be. Why not give her a call?

LastOneDancing · 16/12/2013 12:32

Has it got a touching verse?

I'm all about the verse.

Floralnomad · 16/12/2013 12:36

I would assume its because she only wants to buy one card ,not a daughter card and separate ones for the DCs ,not odd at all really .I send cards that say 'from all of us ' to any siblings that I don't particularly want to write several different cards for .

monicalewinski · 16/12/2013 12:38

I'm inclined to say you're overthinking it a wee bit, but then I've not experienced your relationship with your mum.

I have done an "our house to yours" stylee for my mum & dad before - because I liked the picture on the front better than the other choices.

If you're super bothered, then just give her a call - but I wouldn't waste any more headspace over it tbh, tis only a week til xmas - plenty of other things to get stressed about Xmas Smile

FatOwl · 16/12/2013 12:40

I saw some lovely "from our home to yours" cards, which I thought were nice for whole families you don't see but stay in touch with.

"house" seems a bit impersonal.
I've never felt the need to drop cards into the neighbours saying "from all at no 24" though

Original poster
sincitylover · 16/12/2013 12:48

I think it's just her really - when dc1 and I went to my grandmother's funeral she thanked us for coming as we left - I thought that was rather odd too.

OP posts:
Original poster
sincitylover · 16/12/2013 12:49

cogito Xmas Smile

OP posts:
Original poster
sincitylover · 16/12/2013 12:51

I was very close to my grandma. My m was not - they didn't seem to like each other.

Thinking about it more it is her style but very hurtful nonetheless - she also calls female relatives in family 'mother' regardless of age - ie she rarely calls me sincity - rather mother and used to call grandma the same.

OP posts:
Marylou2 · 16/12/2013 13:25

Send her chimney a Valentine's card from yours! She might get the general idea. Don't be upset about this as It's only a piece of paper in the end.Have a lovely Christmas.

Tulip26 · 16/12/2013 13:40

I hate all that rubbish with cards. My Dad and Stepmum aren't actually married but I'm not messing around with all that "To my Dad and his Life Partner" rubbish. They get cards that say "To Mum and Dad" and so do my Mum and Stepdad. I hate it, it seems to devalue a person.

Trills · 16/12/2013 13:42

My house doesn't have any friends. Should I be arranging for it to have playdates?

MrsGarlic · 16/12/2013 14:28

Oh, we've just sent a "From our house to yours" card to my husband's sister, his brother, and his brother's girlfriend (they are currently living together while my SIL completes her teacher training). I hope they didn't get offended. There isn't a card for "sister, brother and brother's girlfriend" and I liked the design on the one I chose.

Perhaps she just liked the card and got you that rather than separate "daughter" and "grandchildren" ones. Personally I think you are way overthinking it. You got a card, that's nice, why put more into it than there is?

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 16/12/2013 14:45

That made me actually 'snort', Trills. I don't think I've ever snorted before, I sounded just like a pig... BlushGrin

rudolphdrops · 16/12/2013 14:50

I don't get one from DM since last year she said the were a waste of time but she dropped one in to pass on to my DH parents.

Igloofornow · 16/12/2013 14:50

Trills, that reminds me of Michael McIntyre and his piece about waiters asking if 'sir would like some water for the table' Grin

valiumredhead · 16/12/2013 15:03

I've just bought the same card for my dad and step mum, it's a lovely card imo. I think this thread high lights that people really will moan about anything just to have a good moanHmm

valiumredhead · 16/12/2013 15:04

And I bought it because it's hard to find one that isn't specially for mum and dad. Nice to know I'm weird.

Fucking hell this thread had given me the right rage!Shock

Madmammy83 · 16/12/2013 15:27

It wouldn't even bother me, I'd assume it was a nice way of saying "you're all grown up with your own home now, isn't this a lovely reminder that even though we are family, we have two lovely separate little families too". I wouldn't send that kind of card to a neighbour, I'd send the neighbour one of those bog standard yucky robin ones that I try to get rid of quickly so I can give the nice sparkly ones to my sister and friends. But obviously I'm in the minority!

valiumredhead · 16/12/2013 15:28

Madmammy-that's exactly it!

BeigeBuffet · 16/12/2013 16:03

It's not quite the same but earlier this year when I got married my DM sent DH and me a plain wedding card (ie, not one with daughter and son in law on it). It didn't bother me but I had wondered if there was anything wrong because my DM absolutely loves cards and keeps them for years after and puts a lot of effort into picking the right one. I asked her about it two months later and she said that she had been so busy and had picked it in a rush. Maybe this is the same kind of situation?

LRDtheFeministDragon · 16/12/2013 16:12
Confused

I know someone actually buys those 'son and daughter' or 'granddad and live-in love bunny' cards because otherwise shops wouldn't sell them, but why would it bother you what you get?

valiumredhead · 16/12/2013 16:19

I LOVE our card from mil,I live the fact I'm her daughter in law, and it reminds me of when we got engaged and she gave me a huge hug and said she couldn't have asked for a nicer daughter in law

I'm just grateful anyone sends me a card tbh with the price of stampsGrin

BeigeBuffet · 16/12/2013 20:09

Aww valium that's lovely. My MIL said how please she was because she had always wanted a big family and now she has another daughter to love, when she found out that DH and I had got engaged. I think having a special card is lovely, especially over Christmas. I admit that I've inherited my DM's love of cards and take a while to pick the right one. At Christmas all of my special cards sit on my mantelpiece and all the others are on a card holder over the door.

TeaOneSugar · 16/12/2013 20:20

SIL usually sends a mad pile of cards brother and SIL, cousin, auntie and uncle, just from them to us, last year i sent brother and family and this year got the same back, another tree saved :)

Maybe she's also trying to cut down on the number of cards she sends?