Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Things I only ever see on Mumsnet and never in RL

536 replies

HankyScore · 16/12/2013 10:18

Wedding gift lists angst. I don't think I've ever been to a wedding where there wasn't a list. It's normal.

Parents who never have even a sniff of booze when their kids are in the house, and the angst over 'what if I need to drive them to hospital?'. Perhaps everyone I know is a raging alky, but it's just never come up as an issue.

Old ladies on the bus having a pop about breastfeeding/children/the yoof of today. Has never happened to me in all my eleven years of parenting. I only ever meet nice people on public transport. Perhaps I am just incredibly thick skinned and don't notice the judgy stares?

People giving much of a shit over BF/FF, or at least not once they are past their own days of feeding a baby.

There is more.

I'm off to think of some.

OP posts:
daisychain01 · 16/12/2013 19:47

So, so true mintberry the 4 Stages of DSM.

After being on MN only a matter of weeks, I found myself feeling guilty at the realisation that I tell DSS that I love him and hug him back when he puts his arms round me - how very dare I I'm a cancerous bitch who ought to be ashamed of myself, I should be aloof, cold and detached in case my DSS gets awwwwwl confused.

Stage 4 did become Stage 1 pronto Grin

cantbelievemyeyes · 16/12/2013 19:49

Love the idea of carrying baby in a sling and plan to give it a go when the time comes. Hate the phrase 'baby wearing' though. Immediately picture a naked mother draped in nothing but a couple of kiddies, in the style of a sandwich board.

Heartbrokenmum73 · 16/12/2013 20:09

Satin

Well, it obviously goes on (as two posters have testified!) but it was more that there was a thread about two boys at secondary school who were friends, but the OP was still talking about her son and his 'playdates', like they were about 5.

I've never used the term to begin with, but for 12 year olds? My DD has just turned 12 - she would laugh in my face if I referred to her going to a friend's as a 'playdate'!

thebody · 16/12/2013 20:15

satin yes agree wearing a baby and attached parenting bloody daft phrases. what's unattached parenting?

I suppose the cold ones who have a cot, pram and 'HOLY FUCK bottle feed.

if you are British using term play date is wankerish.

desertmum · 16/12/2013 20:22

I had never heard of a mooncup and had to google it - I would actually need a moonbucket when my period starts - it's like Niagara Falls - no thanks - and yes I think it's wierd

SatinSandals · 16/12/2013 20:23

Quite right daisychain- you must have nothing to do with him and can never see him without his father and never tell him what to do in your house! (Where do these people live?Hmm You are nothing to him, merely his father's wife!

thebody · 16/12/2013 20:29

desertmum moon bucket Grin lovely

arethereanyleftatall · 16/12/2013 20:29

Love this thread. At last all the normal people together.
Agree with all the above.

puntasticusername · 16/12/2013 20:31

People who get all sneery when you talk about a child's father "babysitting". "You don't babysit your own children, dear".

Could not...care...less.

arethereanyleftatall · 16/12/2013 20:31

Oh, what about the poster incandescent with rage where her ds was excluded from school Christmas nativity, who then went on to say on page 4 she's told the school to not involve him in any religious activity.....

lljkk · 16/12/2013 20:33

People who can genuinely say that they have never done anything violent or shameful.

SatinSandals · 16/12/2013 20:33

I loved that thread! She withdrew him from anything religious and was raging because she couldn't watch him on stage!

harticus · 16/12/2013 20:40

a cancerous bitch

Something I have only ever seen on MN and never in RL is the use of "cancerous" as a pejorative adjective.

As someone with cancer I would really love someone to describe to me exactly what this term means.

My friend that recently died of this disease and left her 11 year old son was she a "cancerous bitch" too?

Heartbrokenmum73 · 16/12/2013 20:41

I know someone who loved all the Nativity stuff and didn't bat an eyelid but threw a major strop at Easter because how dare the school teach her son about Jesus!

HoneyStepMummy · 16/12/2013 20:53

Last year on Mother's Day a stepmum who was raising her teenage stepkid with her DH was upset when she didn't get a card or gift. She was told that the SC "has a mum, and you're not it". She was also told not to "ruin SC's mum's special day" and she wasn't the kid's mother, just a "woman who happens to live in DH's house". Luckily the stepmum did end up getting a card and gift so it ended well...and no it wasn't me..

BigChocolateOrange · 16/12/2013 20:59

People getting excited about finding shopping lists. I feel like it was a joke that was funny once but now people say it to try and make out they're one of the cool kids.

Alisvolatpropiis · 16/12/2013 21:01

Satin

I know a "shoes off in my house" type. He's probably the biggest twat I have ever met. Also my not so dear brother in law.

I don't the "what nickname can we give our baby?" stuff. I mean, what the fuck?

People who never judge anybody ever and all those who do will burn for eternity in the fiery pits of hell. I judge people all the time, split second snap judgements. We all do it. Why lie?

TirAnna · 16/12/2013 21:19

Love this thread. At last all the normal people together.

^^THIS.

Has anyone mentioned how if someone has an unpopular opinion they're clearly A Man Shock yet?

CoffeeTea103 · 16/12/2013 21:26

Posters being advised their partners family is the partners responsibility and then they can't understand why the il don't like them. Horrible advice.

SugarHut · 16/12/2013 21:31

Wanky, creepy, overkill Elf on the Shelf. Back in the box of plastic Christmas tat with you!!

Whistleblower0 · 16/12/2013 21:33

Oh there are loads of them, and they have mostly been covered already.
I have a few favourites though that make me laugh out load,- doesn't matter how many times i read them!

Precious flowers complaining that somebody took the p&c parking space, and they didn't have a child with them, and it should be a hanging offenceSmile ditto, pregnant women on public transport expecting other passangers to give up their seats, no matter what the circumstances are.

mothers who never go out to socialise, cos they cant bear to leave their kids with anyone else for a couple of hours. This usually includes the father.Xmas Smile

The endless introspection and naval gazing about BF. No women i know gives a fuck how other women feed their child.
Anyone who calls a child a brat will be immediately pounced upon, and asked to consider that they probably have an SN, and they must be able to do what they like because of said sn or even an sn that hasn't yet been diagnosed.

'spirited' children.Hmm

The posters who think drinking a a few glasses lf wine a week is seriously decadent, not to mention life threathing..

And last but not least, the endless chicken dinners, y know, i can make a chicken last a whole week and feed a family of 6. They are seriously funny.
None of it resembles real life at all, but i guess that's why it's so entertaining.

Whistleblower0 · 16/12/2013 21:35

Oh how could i forget, the posters who think that because they are pregnant, and cant drink/go out, that the husband partner must not eitherGrin

Alisvolatpropiis · 16/12/2013 21:42

What IS Elf on a Shelf?!

pianodoodle · 16/12/2013 21:43

Oh, what about the poster incandescent with rage where her ds was excluded from school Christmas nativity, who then went on to say on page 4 she's told the school to not involve him in any religious activity.....

Oh yes wasn't that the "fumming" one? Grin

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 16/12/2013 21:43

I wish people would stop sneering about people who mention SN.

People mention it because in their actual lives they get grief from people because their child is behaving perhaps in a bratty manner to the casual onlooker but it's because they have SN and are stressed.

It matters to people.

Yet people in the enormously privileged position of having NT kids feel they can sneer at those who mention SN and treat it like an enormous laugh.

Ugh