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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Things I only ever see on Mumsnet and never in RL

536 replies

HankyScore · 16/12/2013 10:18

Wedding gift lists angst. I don't think I've ever been to a wedding where there wasn't a list. It's normal.

Parents who never have even a sniff of booze when their kids are in the house, and the angst over 'what if I need to drive them to hospital?'. Perhaps everyone I know is a raging alky, but it's just never come up as an issue.

Old ladies on the bus having a pop about breastfeeding/children/the yoof of today. Has never happened to me in all my eleven years of parenting. I only ever meet nice people on public transport. Perhaps I am just incredibly thick skinned and don't notice the judgy stares?

People giving much of a shit over BF/FF, or at least not once they are past their own days of feeding a baby.

There is more.

I'm off to think of some.

OP posts:

HanneHolm · 16/12/2013 16:08

oh ffs benefit bashing is a tabloid term

MOVE ON

randomAXEofkindness · 16/12/2013 16:10

One person eating an omelette with 4 eggs and 7 slices of ham to themselves.

I could polish that off, no problemo.

Everyone I know hates their inlaws.

I go all in for most of the stuff mentioned. I talk like a bit of a worthy bastard in rl as well though. I might be an arse, but I'm an arse with integrity.

I did see someone slagging off an op for putting an apple in a packed lunch - too sugery. What a piss-take. Everyone I know/see/hear of in rl feeds their kids shite. Only on mn do people balk at the sugar content of a friggin apple.

DorothyParker1 · 16/12/2013 16:11

Dorothy not sure about you but I don't consider google to be my RL. Again in my RL you never hear the phrase benefit bashing.

Oh dear. My point was that if you google the term, you will see that it is used in a wide range of media and by a wide range of people from lots of different walks of life. You said it wasn't heard a lot in "RL". Maybe you don't hear it, but I do, and clearly so do a lot of others.

LittlePeaPod · 16/12/2013 16:11

*Does anyone else actually (literally) wince sometimes when they read an opening post and know that in a matter of minutes the gates if he'll set going to (metaphorically) open and they are going to be ripped to shreds until they are gibbering wrecks?

Sometimes I find myself muttering flee flee, save yourself, think of the children for god sake*

Yes I do. Brilliant. Ha ha ha ha

DadOnIce · 16/12/2013 16:12

Those paint names - JonahWhite, Mizzle, BallGreen, ElephantsBreathe - could be the nicknames of mumsnet posters :)

LittlePeaPod · 16/12/2013 16:13

Dorothy seriously I think we can drop it now.

thebody · 16/12/2013 16:14

people who always add ' but I am a little but OCD on cleaning.

it's a stealth boast in how clean their house is to complete strangers who don't give a crap and you are not OCD!!!

DorothyParker1 · 16/12/2013 16:19

Dorothy seriously I think we can drop it now.

Another MN pet hate: poster writes an obtuse response, and when you point out that they have posted an obtuse response, decides they've had enough and can smugly tell you what/when to post. Jog on.

LittlePeaPod · 16/12/2013 16:21

ha ha ha ha

HanneHolm · 16/12/2013 16:23

JOG ON

FANFUCKINGTASTIC

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 16/12/2013 16:25

Thankfully I don't know anyone in RL who uses wanky phrases like "competitive SN kids"

GastonIsAKnob · 16/12/2013 16:25

I love the phrase jog on

Beeyump · 16/12/2013 16:28

I have never heard anyone say 'Fanfuckingtastic' in real life. Shame.

HanneHolm · 16/12/2013 16:29

i tell you what always gets a snigger
GOPPING
People havent heard it for years.
My phone even recognises it now.

Heartbrokenmum73 · 16/12/2013 16:31

How can SAHM's be a myth

I'm a SAHM. I'm real. I exist. Here I am! I'm not a fecking unicorn. Why is SAHM such a weird thing to believe.

Didn't know I was being (silently, and isn't it always silently?) judged for FF my dc/feeding them out of jars/giving them a Fruit Shoot/putting them in a character t-shirt/weaning them with cocaine until I came on here. I stupidly thought no one actually gave a shit about bollocks that because it's no one else's bloody business*. Turns out I'm a shit parent though - who knew

I've had more than one pushchair - guilty . But only because the bus we used to get was older than I am (completely true!) and you couldn't wheel your pushchair on, so I needed a one-hand fold, which the travel system wasn't.

*one of these isn't true, but I'll leave it up to you to work out which one...

susiedaisy · 16/12/2013 16:32

On MN there are people who can make a medium sized chicken feed a family of five for a week. And people who always buy their food first in a cafe and then wander round looking for a free table because it's impolite to get a table first .
In RL that chicken lasts one meal maybe two at a push and if there's more than one of you in your group someone always bagsys a table whilst the other person buys the food!

Beeyump · 16/12/2013 16:36

People call their sons Cosmo, or Winston.

SatinSandals · 16/12/2013 16:37

Great thread!
I think that a lot has been mentioned.
I don't know:
People who have problem ILs
People who analyse every word,or who scrutinise envelopes to see how they are addressed and then take umbrage.
People who won't answer their door ( in daylight anyway)
People who don't want Christmas cards because they are 'messy'.
People who would prefer not to go to their child's school play.
People who have a bright articulate 2year old who can count, do jigsaws, recognise letters etc and worry that a school can't cope with them.
Families with visitors and children and a buggy who insist on everyone in the party queuing in a self service cafe and then getting annoyed with those who use common sense and get seats first, or at least park the children.
People who insist you take your shoes off in their house.
People who think that magic at Christmas is lying.
Children aged 11yrs who really believe in Father Christmas to the extent that they will be 'traumatised' to get the truth because they have never questioned the logistics.
People who would go to a wedding without taking or sending a present.
People who do any parenting with a label as in 'I am a UP parent' or anyone who would 'wear' their baby.
People who police visitors when they have a baby.
People who send their child to nursery and expect them to come out clean.
Anyone who has breast fed past 3years.

I expect there is more

I have been told to 'cheer up, it might never happen' when it had happened and my 6 yr old has been told to 'grow up' in a children's playground! ( by the mother of a 2 yr old who might have got a shock with her child 4 yrs on!) And I have seen countless rows about parking, especially outside schools.

NotYoMomma · 16/12/2013 16:37

little girls called Claudia

SatinSandals · 16/12/2013 16:38

Cross posted about the cafe susie!

Grennie · 16/12/2013 16:40

There are plenty of people who insist visitors take shoes off, unfortunately.

Crowler · 16/12/2013 16:42

little girls called Claudia

Now surely this can't be considered strange.

Beeyump · 16/12/2013 16:43

I know a little girl called Claudia! How unintentionally MN of me, cool

Crowler · 16/12/2013 16:44

I have just had an LOL at SatinSandal's post.

SatinSandals · 16/12/2013 16:45

I lie- I know one house where I have to take my shoes off.

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