ExFw was emotionally, physically and financially abusive towards me so I'm not sure if I'm being objective enough.
DD(8) doesn't want to go to his eow saturday night anymore. She comes home complaining of being shouted at nagged and used as a babysitter to keep her younger sister (4) entertained.
FW gas lights her, promises her the world and never follows through unless it suits him. He has never once put her (or any of his dc) first. He has never gone to a school play, choir performance, school assembly, sports day or gymnastic competition. Even when he wasn't working.
I can mention so many examples of hurtful things he has said while she is in hearing range. One example being to me, dd is my funny little princess but dd's sister she is my queen shes so amazing just look at her.
Dd hasn't just complained at going to her dads to me she has also said to my dm and dnan that she doesn't like going as her dad is so bossy and boring.
He hasn't paid child support since January, this week I have spoken to child maintenance. I have always said my child is not a pay per view channel but jheeze I am fed up. He is supposed to pay for her music lessons at school, a poxy £15 PM, he promised her that he would pay this he told me he would put the money in my account every month but he hasn't. He has just bought himself a new car so now he has two cars.
She does want to see her family on his side, her grandma who shes not that close with and her bag of brothers who she adores. She does want to see her dad but she doesn't want to sleep over or go to his house. She says it's because she misses me but my dd is used to having sleepovers with various friends and family. My DM takes her on holidays and my Dnan has her the majority of most school holidays so she is used to spending time without me so I don't really think it's about missing me.
I have done everything I can to make her dad love her. I even took him in when he got evicted and got back together with him for a year thinking if he spent enough time with her they would bond more. I have really gone above and beyond what I needed to do.
If you have got this far thanks, now IABU to think fuck you, you had your chance to build a strong relationship my dd doesn't need you around and instead of making her go do what I have been doing this last month and making our weekends jam packed with things to do and people to see so she doesn't miss seeing him or want to see him regularly again. I think it will be more damaging long term forcing her to go and see him then letting her stop.