Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3 4

Original poster

I will be back at 12 latest....

89 replies

Edenviolet · 15/12/2013 01:01

Said by dh earlier.

And he is not. Aibu to want to put the chain on the door so he can't get in?

He absolutely promised to be home before 12.

OP posts:

Rissolesfortea · 15/12/2013 01:03

I so want to say LTB but I wont

MrsTerrysChocolateOrange · 15/12/2013 01:03

Has he got form or should you be worrying?

ZombiePenguin · 15/12/2013 01:03

Oh I get so angry at DH when that happen. I always work myself up and get worried and then he comes home and is that I'm cross.

mrsjay · 15/12/2013 01:04

i would go to bed and leave him to stagger in, dh went out today for his Christmas do they go in the afternoon now cos they are too old apparently anyway he stoated in pissed as a fart and rolled into bed at 11pm he had been out since 2'30

dustarr73 · 15/12/2013 01:05

Has he to clock in.Go to bed and let him enjoy his night out.Imagine if you were out and got back later than you thought and found the door locked.Be a different story then.

Xmas2013MN6233 · 15/12/2013 01:05

why should he have to promise to be in at 12, I went for a rare night out the other day and debated not going home til later than planned, i wouldnt expect DH to punish me for it

mrsjay · 15/12/2013 01:06

TBF i think the husband said he would be in by 12 not that he had to be in by 12,

BillyBanter · 15/12/2013 01:07

If there is no reason why coming home later than 12 is actually problematic, past him saying he'd be back by then I'd try to let it wash over me.

People think they will be back early from the pub and it never seems to quite work out like that once they've had a drink and are enjoying themselves.

If there is reason beyond unrealistic claims to be home earlier then by all means lock him out.

ZombiePenguin · 15/12/2013 01:09

Tbf, this is me with the getting annoyed (I have generalised anxiety disorder)! It isn't bad to stay out a bit long and enjoy yourself, a text would be nice though!

mrsjay · 15/12/2013 01:09

are you just venting OP or are you really angry and want to lock the door, dont sit up fizzing about it

mrsjay · 15/12/2013 01:11

My husband didnt take his phone with him today I never expect a text from him,

LightastheBreeze · 15/12/2013 01:12

I would just go to bed. It sounds a bit like when you are 16 and your mum is waiting up for you in case you're five minutes late to tell you off. Does it matter if he's a bit late he won't want to spoil his night out clock watching.

Xmas2013MN6233 · 15/12/2013 01:13

mrsjay he absolutely promised ...

WilsonFrickett · 15/12/2013 01:15

It completely depends on your circumstances. For example, our last train is 1120 so usually the plan is to get that home. If either of us change our mind about catching the last train, we text so the other knows not to expect us. Also neither DP or I have a lot of form for promising to be home on the train then changing our minds without letting the other person know.

But either way I wouldn't put the chain on the door.

sparklysilversequins · 15/12/2013 01:16

So what?

Go to bed. He's a grown man and being in a couple with someone should not mean that you have to tear home on the dot of midnight if you're having a good time just to keep them happy.

Bogeyface · 15/12/2013 01:19

Well clearly I am in the minority then!

If I say I will be back by X and I realise that I wont then I text or call, and I expect the same back. I dont care what time he comes in, he doesnt care what I time I come in. But we have had the "When do I start to worry" agreement for years.

If he says he will be back by 12 and isnt in and hasnt texted by 2 then I know to worry and its ok to ring him, and vice versa. However, if he texts me and says "Goyngg too be a bit latw, txt u latr xxxxx I love yo!" Then I know that it will be 2am at the earliest! As I say, it works both ways. We both understand that the person at home will start to be concerned (especially the last but one Saturday before Xmas) if the one who is out is getting on for an hour late. It is nothing to do with curfews, but everything to do with consideration.

Bogeyface · 15/12/2013 01:21

Oh and may I point out (again, as a PP has already done so but it is being ignored), that the OP didnt say she wanted him back by then. He insisted he WOULD be back by then, his choice, not hers.

I love the assumption that if a man says he will be back by 12 then it must be because 'Er Indoors said so.

Hiphopopotamus · 15/12/2013 01:22

Oops he's missed curfew. I assume he'll be grounded right?

Xmas2013MN6233 · 15/12/2013 01:23

actually I read it the other way, maybe the OP could clarify, as in he absolutely promised he would be in by 12, so he could go out at all.

LightastheBreeze · 15/12/2013 01:25

He didn't insist he absolutely promised, which makes it sound as if he is doing what is expected of him. My DH would never absolutely promise anything like that, he would just say he wouldn't be sure when he would be home.

AmberLeaf · 15/12/2013 01:25

YWBVU to put the chain on the door.

Mellowandfruitful · 15/12/2013 01:26

If he had texted to say he was going to be later than planned that would make a difference. I assume he hasn't.

mrsjay · 15/12/2013 01:26

love the assumption that if a man says he will be back by 12 then it must be because 'Er Indoors said so.

that really

AmberLeaf · 15/12/2013 01:27

Saying he 'absolutely promised' gives the impression that he was responding to the OP having an issue with him being out IMO.

Bogeyface · 15/12/2013 01:30

Given that there is a thread on MN right now about a woman who has left her H because he has "promised" not to cane it after going AWOL several times in the past, and then did it again, we dont know the back story.

So I would assume that anyone who was seriously considering locking someone out for being late, not getting in touch etc, would have a good reason for doing so.

But hey, it's far easier to have a go at the OP isnt it and assume she is a controlling harridan?

Flip

1 2 3 4

Swipe left for the next trending thread