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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I will be back at 12 latest....

89 replies

Edenviolet · 15/12/2013 01:01

Said by dh earlier.

And he is not. Aibu to want to put the chain on the door so he can't get in?

He absolutely promised to be home before 12.

OP posts:
Earningsthread · 15/12/2013 01:52

Are you his mother?

BitOfFunWithSanta · 15/12/2013 01:53

I tend to agree with Amberleaf- ok, so 12 was the vague notion, but surely it's not set in stone?

It's entirely different if it's a daytime thing, and you were looking forward to a cosy evening together, ie you've shaved your legs and had a bath and are on a promise...

But by midnight, surely it makes no difference?

I don't see the need to lock up, really, unless you live in the kind of place where psychos randomly try front doors. Just go to bed.

Bogeyface · 15/12/2013 02:08

AMber I am 40 so I am older than you, just clearly lacking in stamina or someone who would give me a reason to keep going all night! :o

AmberLeaf · 15/12/2013 02:11

Grin I do ache the next day though.

Bogeyface · 15/12/2013 02:12

OK so this is where you get to fuck off!

Fucking stealth boasters PISS. ME. OFF.
:o

AmberLeaf · 15/12/2013 02:14

Grin off I fuck...

Original poster
Edenviolet · 15/12/2013 08:43

Sorry, soon as posted dd woke up!

I was just angry as dh promised he would be back as he knows dcs wake and that's its a struggle with them at night. He got in at 130 in the end, not terrible just not ideal and dd had been up ages.

OP posts:
RubyGoat · 15/12/2013 08:50

Bring them in to see daddy and poke his eyes Grin

I have little sympathy with hangovers. Self inflicted.

Original poster
Edenviolet · 15/12/2013 08:53

Its ok, dd woke again at 345am and I sent dh in to her, I had warned him he needed to be in a fit state to help with dcs once he got back and seeing as this is the second week in a row he's been out I think its fair.

OP posts:
ShoeSmacking · 15/12/2013 08:53

I thought it would be something like that. Now that ds is a better sleeper dh can go out until 5 and I don't care. But when he was still waking multiple times a night dh would say what time he would be home and I would expect him to live up to that.

manticlimactic · 15/12/2013 08:53

So what would have happened if he had said he'd be home at 1.30?

Original poster
Edenviolet · 15/12/2013 08:57

If he had said 130 originally I'd not have been happy as dcs wake up from around 12 after taking most of evening to go to sleep!

He had left at 7 so had a few hrs out but always pushes it a bit further, dcs wake up and I get stressed

OP posts:
pinkdelight · 15/12/2013 09:01

Second week in a row? You mean he's been out once a week? Doesn't sound like he's living it up. As long as you get your night a week out too. Kids waking situation sound hellish though.

meditrina · 15/12/2013 09:01

It's basic courtesy - if you have chosen the time of your return, and told other occupant when that is (in this case, the DH chose 12:00) and your plans change, then you let the other person know.

Bloody rude not to.

TicTacZebra · 15/12/2013 09:04

My DP always 'promises' me that he will be in by a certain time but not because I have a problem with him going out. I'm not really sure why he says it because he knows I don't care if he goes out and I know I can add at least 2 hours to the time he has given me.

So don't assume the OP is the controlling wife.

ShoeSmacking · 15/12/2013 09:05

I honestly don't understand this attitude of let him have the night out and you go out too love. Of course that's the ideal. And 2.5 years in, dh and I are there. But when sleeping was an issue neither of us got to go out partying regularly. It just wasn't fair. Yes, we should all get a break, but frankly if your break means your partner breaks too from the stress, it's not worth it.

Alisvolatpropiis · 15/12/2013 09:05

You sound like his mum op.

Going out twice over the course of two weeks during the Christmas period is hardly living it large and forgetting his responsibilities.

MrsNellyLovett · 15/12/2013 09:06

pinkdelight I think there's a long backstory here, and OP doesn't get nights out. Might have got a more helpful set of responses if she'd explained, though.

Original poster
Edenviolet · 15/12/2013 09:09

No, I don't get nights out but as still bf the youngest dc that's mostly why. I'm also too exhausted by 5 pm each day to even want to go out!

I have been trying to make it possible for dh to go out so that at least one of us gets a break (or I think we would both have a breakdown) but he doesn't stick to arrangements. We have real problems at night with dcs waking due to ill health and its hard to get the balance right between caring for them and dh getting time away to relax.

OP posts:
TicTacZebra · 15/12/2013 09:10

Once a week really isn't too bad op. Do you get nights out too?

LightastheBreeze · 15/12/2013 09:12

OP you should have said about the DCs at the start as now it sounds like maybe your DH isn't doing his fair share.

gertrudetrain · 15/12/2013 09:13

Tbh I would be delighted if DH got in by midnight or even promised to. Its more like 6am here and the whole proceeding day in bed. In fact he went out last night, don't know what time he got in and is obviously still in bed and dc's are hassling me cos his bday presents are sat here waiting and Ds has burnt the carpet. So YANBU and it's a PITA really isn't it.

gertrudetrain · 15/12/2013 09:14

Sorry that was a gent post Blush.

purrtrillpadpadpad · 15/12/2013 09:15

Totally agree Shoe, although there will be plenty of MNers that truly believe a man has the right to blow off steam or he might leave you, or some utter shite like that. Hey ho.

purrtrillpadpadpad · 15/12/2013 09:18

Hedge, you're exhausted by 5pm. Why is it your DH needs a break and not you?