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AIBU?

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Original poster

to think my brothers employer isn't being unfair

129 replies

nasewa · 14/12/2013 18:22

My brother is on the bone marrow register and he has been matched with someone who needs a donation of his bone marrow. So in a couple of weeks he is going to London to have some taken from him. He is going to have some GA and have to stay in hospital in a couple of weeks. His employers is making him take holiday for this rather than sick because of the voluntary nature of this. My sister is incredulous at this and thinks that they shouldn't make him do this but I can see their point.

OP posts:
expatinscotland · 14/12/2013 21:06

A 19-year-old male is an excellent candidate, too, the best one a recipient can hope for besides a sibling match. Wish our daughter had been so lucky.

VevvieXmas · 14/12/2013 21:07

A friend of mine donated her marrow and work let her have it as paid, special leave. She does work in a unit where there are posters on the wall asking for all kinds of donations to save lives.

Shame as this may put people off donating when they are trying to save someone's life.

pixiepotter · 14/12/2013 21:23

The Anthony Nolan website say they compensate donors for lost earnings as well as reimbursing travel and accommodation costs.
The employer is not being BU.

Thatballwasin · 14/12/2013 21:25

I work for a big company that is very aware of their outside rep. I am sure there is no way your DB would have to take holiday if he was employed by them. It would be on a case by case basis and they aren't exactly fluffy in their general dealings but I'm convinced they wouldn't make him take hol.

Your DB is fantastic, best of luck to him and the recipient.

Original poster
nasewa · 14/12/2013 21:26

GlaikitInAPearTree - I don't think he knew that you can be reimbursed and so he could take it as unpaid leave (he is quite naive about life)

OP posts:
ivykaty44 · 14/12/2013 21:34

OP - can you write to your brothers MP and let them know what is happening with regards to your brother and this company not paying - as this may also help. People shouldn't be put of going on the register if they think they will lose out.

hickory · 14/12/2013 21:35

Last year my brother in law donated bone marrow. He was in hospital for two nights but it took a lot longer for him to recover. He spent over a week in pain and incredibly tired. He probably slept for 16 out of 24 hours for the first week at home. It was nearly two weeks after the op that he began to feel like he was getting back to normal. He returned to work three weeks after the op.
He works in the public sector. His employers were in complete support of him. He didn't lose any of his salary or holiday entitlement. But he did save a stranger's life and received an amazing thank you letter a year later.
It is an amazingly generous thing to do but please don't think it is easy as it certainly isn't.

VevvieXmas · 14/12/2013 21:41

My friend donated hers peripherally, so was only off a week, travel and 2 days donating.

It's a great thing he's doing and they're crying out for young, healthy male donors.

DoYouLikeMyBaubles · 14/12/2013 21:48

OP - can you write to your brothers MP and let them know what is happening with regards to your brother and this company not paying - as this may also help

Really don't like these bullying tactics, don't get your own way so write to the paper Hmm I'm sure that'll make for a GREAT working atmosphere.

I donate blood and would donate marrow if needed, but I wouldn't expect to be able to take the day off paid. A lot of small companies are struggling as it is, low staffing and small income, without people having more paid days off than they are entitled to.

It would be nice, very nice indeed but they're not bastards as some people are saying for not allowing it.

He isn't sick, so they're right in saying he can't take it a sick. If they let one person use something like this as a sick day you're going to get an influx of people thinking they should be entitled to the same, for all sorts of reasons.

ivykaty44 · 14/12/2013 21:54

so writing to your MP is bullying tacts - how else do you get things changed in government if you can't tell your Mp if you don't like something without it being called bullying tacts?

Did you take advantage or would you take advantage of maternity care and free time of work to attend? The time of work was gained by tactics by the unions

ParcelFancy · 14/12/2013 21:55

"If they let one person use something like this as a sick day you're going to get an influx of people thinking they should be entitled to the same"

We can only hope! How wonderful it would be if needing time off to donate marrow were a common thing.Xmas Smile

nasewa, please do help him look into presenting it as good PR for his employer - perhaps getting the advice of Anthony Nolan trust? It may be the employer really can't cope, but perhaps he just hasn't put it the right way?

Oh, and please give him these ThanksThanksThanks

Idespair · 14/12/2013 21:57

This makes me feel sick. He is donating bone marrow, a huge monumental and priceless act which very few people have the ability and desire to do. He's saving the life of another human being. His company should be giving him paid special/discretionary leave. I can't believe anyone would think otherwise. I am disgusted.

Thatballwasin · 14/12/2013 21:58

When people sign up for the TA do they have to take that time as holiday?

Idespair · 14/12/2013 21:58

Oh and yes, his employer should also be mentioning him in any publications they have.

FudgefaceMcZ · 14/12/2013 22:01

The two week hospital stay is not voluntary, though, it's necessary as a result of the bone marrow donation which is voluntary. If you're saying that no one should take sick leave for medical treatments/hospital stays that they need as a result of their voluntary actions, would you also say no sick leave for smokers who get respiratory illnesses, or people who have accidents doing dangerous sports? It seems like the 'where will it end?' argument could go both ways, and it seems mean spirited of his employer to refuse the kind of leave he would prefer to take for this (I personally wouldn't want to take 2 weeks sick leave anyway because it would probably trigger some kind of investigation).

worridmum · 14/12/2013 23:06

Its a slippery slope saying that donations that require time off cant be considered sick leave because you make yoursself ill/unfit for work.

As you make yourself pregnant so its in the same thing expect expectant mothers are protected by law so I belive the government should step in like they do in denmark and norway were employers HAVE to treat it as sick pay and CANNOT be used agianst them in the same vain as pregnecy reletated illnesses are protected here. (BTW am not saying remove pregnecy stuff just that we should be legally protect so people arnt put off donating for finecal reasons)

nennypops · 14/12/2013 23:16

I wonder what the situation would be if your brother had no annual leave left and couldn't afford unpaid leave? Would the employers forbid him to have time off and leave the potential donee to die?

Kendodd · 14/12/2013 23:27

"If they let one person use something like this as a sick day you're going to get an influx of people thinking they should be entitled to the same"

Are you saying people will be joining the register just so that they can have 3 days off sick? I had to have a little laugh at whoever it was working in HR who said they would make him keep this strictly confidential, implying that if word got out everyone would want time off to donate.

To the people who think the employers are right not allowing sick pay, can I ask again- what if he'd used up all his holidays, do you then think his employers should just not let him do it?

If he decided he just couldn't do this because he couldn't afford to somebody could quite possibly die as a result.

BillyBanter · 14/12/2013 23:36

You'd also need to create more people needing bone marrow transplants. That's quite a feat to pull off just to get some sick leave from work. Easier to phone up with a pinched nose and claim to hab a code.

DoYouLikeMyBaubles · 14/12/2013 23:44

kendodd

You missed off part of my sentence, for all sorts of reasons.

BillyBanter · 14/12/2013 23:55

''The Anthony Nolan website say they compensate donors for lost earnings as well as reimbursing travel and accommodation costs.
The employer is not being BU.''

If the employers knew he would be reimbursed or could be reimbursed then that less unreasonable, but you'd think they'd mention it if they did know. If they didn't know then I'd still say they are unreasonable.

MightyMagnificentScarfaceClaw · 14/12/2013 23:56

Employers are within their rights, but mean. They should recognise the selfless thing he is doing, and allow him the time.

MidniteScribbler · 15/12/2013 03:42

The employer is an ass. Two days off work for an employee to save someone's life shouldn't even be a discussion topic.

We can only hope that people will see it as a great way to get two days paid off work and will sign up to the register in the hopes of getting those couple of days off! The more people on the register, the more chances of matches being made.

MusicalEndorphins · 15/12/2013 05:17

It is great that your brother is going to be able to help someone with his bone marrow. Be proud of him. :)
Anyone that I know who does volunteer work uses up their holidays time to do so. But they get paid by knowing they are doing something to help others. You are talking about 2 days. What are 2 less days on a vacation somewhere compared to helping improve someones life who desperately needs it. Having a vacation seems rather small and unimportant in comparison. JMHO

ApocalypseThen · 15/12/2013 09:23

"If they let one person use something like this as a sick day you're going to get an influx of people thinking they should be entitled to the same"

Which would be wonderful, not disaster. What this man is doing is literally amazing. Having invasive, painful treatment to save a life is indicative of the best kind of person.

I think his work are being unreasonable. There's always a way to make these things happen if you've sufficient will. Rarely do we get to contribute, even indirectly, to saving someone's life. Surely that's worth a bit of imagination and effort? Personally, I can't imagine any if my colleagues being resentful or inflexible about cover if anyone I work with was doing this.