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Original poster

to think my brothers employer isn't being unfair

129 replies

nasewa · 14/12/2013 18:22

My brother is on the bone marrow register and he has been matched with someone who needs a donation of his bone marrow. So in a couple of weeks he is going to London to have some taken from him. He is going to have some GA and have to stay in hospital in a couple of weeks. His employers is making him take holiday for this rather than sick because of the voluntary nature of this. My sister is incredulous at this and thinks that they shouldn't make him do this but I can see their point.

OP posts:
StealthPolarBear · 14/12/2013 20:25

OK Kundry, I see your point, sorry. Still think this should be seen as completely exceptional though

Maryz · 14/12/2013 20:27

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SweetFelicityArkwright · 14/12/2013 20:29

My dh was a bone marrow doner last year and had similar issues with taking time off work.
He asked if he could have the donation taken via apherisis ( so from his blood ) rather than actually from his bone, which meant he didn't need a ga and the process and recovery was shorter. They didn't offer that method to him, he had to ask about it and it depends whether it is suitable for the recipient but might be worth a try as it might make it easier for your db.

IThoughtThat · 14/12/2013 20:29

If I was an employer and could afford to give sick pay for this I most certainly would. I think it's an amazing thing for your DB to do.

I wouldn't pay sick leave for fun run type things. Companies are deluged with requests from charities, they have to pick what charities they want to support.

Thanks for your bro

Bogeyface · 14/12/2013 20:32

On the one hand I would like to think that I as a boss would authorise 3 days paid leave for this. But many business owners, especially SME owners are really struggling at the moment, so I can see it from that point of view too.

While it would be nice if they had given him the time off, I can see why they havent.

Now just off to removed the splinters from my arse that I got off this fence!

Minnieisthedevilmouse · 14/12/2013 20:36

Having worked in hr I agree it's unlikely to be policy to use anything but annual leave days.

That said, I would also suggest this is on a 'case by case' thing and at manager discretion. Assuming its a once in a career type of thing I'd say 2-3 days to help recuperation thus giving nearly half a week if he was then taking two days annual. To match and show willing.

I'd also stress it wasn't to be discussed/was confidential.

Has he been there long?
What's his personal development plans / history like?
Does he have good rapport with boss /colleagues? Every bit counts.....

HicDraconis · 14/12/2013 20:36

I'm not sure I'd have told his employers the nature of his medical procedure if I were him. Just that I needed minor surgery and would be off sick for 2 days.

I think his employers are being despicable.

Minnieisthedevilmouse · 14/12/2013 20:37

So he would end up with a working week off. Sorry wasn't clear

coppertop · 14/12/2013 20:37

I had no idea that donors had to give up their pay as well as their bone marrow.

I find that shocking tbh.

phantomnamechanger · 14/12/2013 20:42

I think the employer is being very mean - this is an amazing thing to do, it is also very rare - they are NOT going to end up with a whole string of employees needing time off for this! In my 43 years I have never personally known anyone who has given or received bone marrow.

I wonder what they would say if your brother was donating a kidney to a sick relative who needed one - that's major surgery, but again voluntary and he'd not be "ill" as such.

StealthPolarBear · 14/12/2013 20:44

I think any concession given should be discussed! If people are willing to do it for th promise of a few 'free' days off then that doesn't reflect particularly well on them but saves lives so I don't really care.

anotherchristmasnamechange · 14/12/2013 20:44

I wonder whether they would give sick leave if he'd been matched with a family member? I think they are being unreasonable, TBH. If it's only a couple of days, couldn't he self certify - would be a shame if he had the flu, wouldn't it?

Original poster
nasewa · 14/12/2013 20:47

Minnie- He's been there since June and its his first job (he's only 19) and he hasn't really got a development plan. He says that he has a good relationship with his boss and colleagues.

OP posts:
BillyBanter · 14/12/2013 20:50

This is the sort of thing that would benefit from government policy.

Most/many employers wouldn't even get anyone in to cover for 2 or 3 days.

They are not exactly fun days off though, stealth!

And Grin @ 2006/7

StealthPolarBear · 14/12/2013 20:50

I do wonder how many of his colleagues will be at home with a snffle that same week
and 19 Shock. He's a young person doing a very selfless thing. good for him!

GlaikitInAPearTree · 14/12/2013 20:50

I thought you were reimbursed for any out of pocket expenses if you donated your marrow. He should take the time as unpaid from his employer and be reimbursed.

If people get paid for time off for jury duty, they should get it for this too.

StealthPolarBear · 14/12/2013 20:51

I was being serious about 20006. I remember a 'high' point, before 2008, where employees held some power and I took a lot for granted which I am now pathetically grateful for (and I work for a very good employer, with a VERY good line manager)

Maryz · 14/12/2013 20:56

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MamaWren · 14/12/2013 20:56

I was a live kidney donor and my time off work couldn't be sick leave as I was making myself "ill". However, the equivalent of my salary was paid to me by the local NHS trust. Their view being that while donors can't profit from donation in the UK, you shouldn't be out of pocket. I was off work for about 4 weeks.

ToffeeOwnsTheSausage · 14/12/2013 20:56

19? [shock

Hats off to him.

Fuck, I'll pay his expenses lost.

BillyBanter · 14/12/2013 20:58

Maybe he needs to check with the NHS about covering his pay then?

paxtecum · 14/12/2013 20:58

I had a colleague who donated a kidney.
She was off for four weeks and then on limited duties.
She had SSP and a charity made up her money.

She was paid in full for the very many medical appointments before and after the op.

Your brother sounds great.

Liara · 14/12/2013 20:59

I'm pretty horrified.

Having seen how often people call in 'sick' who are actually hung over, and employers turn a blind eye, the idea that he has to give up his holiday allowance in order to do this strikes me as pretty ridiculous.

The employer may not be being unfair, but he is being a petty, narrow minded and selfish bastard.

phantomnamechanger · 14/12/2013 21:00

The fact that he's only 19 makes it even more amazing - how many of his age group are lazy workshy beggars who cannot manage to get out of bed on time on a winters morning, let alone do something as selfless as this. What an amazing guy.

ivykaty44 · 14/12/2013 21:02

Op get your brother to contact the Antony Noland trust and explian what has happened - they will assist him with his lost wages

Everyone else on this thread that thins its an outrage can you please please donate to the Anthony Noland trust - as this helps in situations liek this

most employers pay wages for the time off - but some don't and the funds are needed