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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to think my brothers employer isn't being unfair

129 replies

nasewa · 14/12/2013 18:22

My brother is on the bone marrow register and he has been matched with someone who needs a donation of his bone marrow. So in a couple of weeks he is going to London to have some taken from him. He is going to have some GA and have to stay in hospital in a couple of weeks. His employers is making him take holiday for this rather than sick because of the voluntary nature of this. My sister is incredulous at this and thinks that they shouldn't make him do this but I can see their point.

OP posts:

EvilRingahBitch · 14/12/2013 18:52

My employers would definitely allow this as paid leave as part of their CSR policy. I think a lot of large companies would, but obviously smaller ones might not feel able.

17leftfeet · 14/12/2013 18:53

Does his company have a volunteering policy -we do and you get 2 days off a year paid for volunteer work -would save him a couple of holiday days

EvilRingahBitch · 14/12/2013 18:55

The brother isn't sick Hilda, he's on the register for altruistic purposes.

Original poster

nasewa · 14/12/2013 18:56

Its a SME with around 15 employees so they don't have a CSR or volunteering polcy.

OP posts:

Iworrymyselftosleep · 14/12/2013 18:57

Hilda I think the point is the brother isn't sick. He has signed up to donate bone marrow if anyone needs it who could receive it. Someone who is sick can be made less sick by receiving his bone marrow so he is donating it and will need two days off from work to do so.

ToffeeOwnsTheSausage · 14/12/2013 18:58

Both sides have a point and that in itself is sad. The employer is such that giving someone two days off to help save another person's life is surely something we should all expect to be a given. However, your brother isn't losing pay so it is less of an unfair gesture. If they made him take it unpaid it would be unreasonable.

ToffeeOwnsTheSausage · 14/12/2013 19:00

Hilda spectacularly wrong there. The OP's brother is on the register as a donor.

Iworrymyselftosleep · 14/12/2013 19:00

nasewa I hope it goes well for your brother. What an amazing thing he is doing.

eurochick · 14/12/2013 19:04

I'm on the fence on this. When I used to donate blood, I did it in my lunch hour. But I tend to take time off for IVF procedures as holiday (although I treat the short consultations as medical appointments and don't take holiday for those. So I'm even inconsistent myself!

I think it would be a good thing for the employer to give these two days to support the great thing your brother is doing, but I can see the other point of view too.

HildaOgden · 14/12/2013 19:04

Oh d'oh!! I read it that he was waiting for a transplant himself...feel a bit dozy now!

Well,in that case.....if he is altruistic enough to donate,then surely using a couple of his holiday days to do that is just part of the deal?

I'm an employer,of a very small business.While I personally would pay him for those days,I can see why his boss isn't keen.I'd write it off as discretionary compassionate leave,so as not to set a precedent for all the bungee jumpers etc

condaleeza · 14/12/2013 19:14

If he is refused paid leave of absence one of the charities (Anthony Nolan?) may help persuade employer eg by covering employer's costs if they need to appoint a temp to do his work. I have known this to happen in the past, may still apply.

vtechjazz · 14/12/2013 19:16

Could any family/friends have a whip round to help out with travel expenses? Seems like his chance of doing something incredibly noble is being tarnished.

Original poster

nasewa · 14/12/2013 19:17

condaleeza- They are letting him take annual leave

OP posts:

Kundry · 14/12/2013 19:17

For a small company, I think it's fair. If he worked for e.g. Tesco I'd think they were being mean bastards.

However even Tesco has to draw the line somewhere or everyone would be asking for a day off to do a fun run.

PartPixie · 14/12/2013 19:25

As someone who's dfil is battling with leukaemia and looking at the possibility of a bone marrow transplant I find your attitudes shocking and quite frankly disgusting. Everything possible should be done to encourage more donors. The thought that someone could be a match but unable to donate due to financial resons sickens me.

Nnnnnnn · 14/12/2013 19:26

How sad that an employer could potentially deny someone a chance to have their life saved. I hope they're ashamed of themselves. Sorry, I'm normally on the side of the employer but I just can't fathom how someone could make the decision to refuse compassionate leave under those grounds. I hope the management never watch a loved one suffer because a potential donor couldn't have time off work to help.

I don't think it's at all comparable to someone taking time off to do a sponsored activity, this is about being potentially the only person in the country who can save that particular life. I also don't think it's comparable to giving blood unless there are special circumstances.

I'd boycott the company without a second thought, and I'd have zero respect for any colleagues who resented working a little bit harder over that short period in order to cover the person donating.

I'm genuinely shocked that so many people are on the side of the employer.

Sunshinenow · 14/12/2013 19:30

Agree. Nnnnnnn.

If the other employees an't step up. Very sad.

ChestnutsroastingintheFireligh · 14/12/2013 19:33

Surely he will be financially better off taking bit as holiday as you arnt entitled to sick pay for the first five days anyway.

The company I work for/my parents run use an insurance scheme for sick pay so they have to adhere to the scheme rules.

KepekCrumbs · 14/12/2013 19:38

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Trapper · 14/12/2013 19:41

He seems to be asking the wrong question. He cannot have sick leave because he is not sick. Simple. I'm sure he wouldn't want the sick days on his record either. He should probably check what policies exist for discretionary leave and how they could be expanded to fit his situation. Presumably he will need further time off if he is a match, so it is well worth broaching this with his HR department, pointing out that whilst tees two days have come out of his holiday allowance he would like to understand how the company can support him when the actual transplant goes ahead.

Original poster

nasewa · 14/12/2013 19:41

Chestnuts- He gets paid sick leave from day 1 of being off sick.

OP posts:

BlousyMumsyTwat · 14/12/2013 19:42

YANBU - it's sick leave and he will be issued with a sick note.

StealthPolarBear · 14/12/2013 19:43

Agree with Nnnnnn and am quite shocked at this thread.
It's like a modern day scrooge.

StealthPolarBear · 14/12/2013 19:45

And what he's doing is nothing like a fun run. He's undergoing a medical procedure to save someone else's life.
And I give blood around my lunch break. Depending on the wait (which these days isn't long) I may be more than an hour but then I usually don't really have a lunch break anyway.

MissYamabuki · 14/12/2013 19:46

No, can't see their point. Sounds v stingy for the sake of3 days. At my workplace people have been given sick leave for vasectomies - a lot more days and a less worthy cause imo. Your brother is saving someone's life fgs.

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