to think that having too many parents of pupils working in a school is not good?

[scottishbelle78]

These children may be discriminated against in a view of appearing fair or it may appear that these children get priority due to a parent being staff. The latter I feel happening in the school my 3dc attended.
Children of staff seem to have a disproportionate amount of leads in school plays
Get 1st dibs in 1st come 1st served afterschool cubs.
Get picked for special activities ie things with press involved.
School events are scheduled for their benefit.
Aibu and reading too much into this.

I've seen this at a small private primary. I hope it doesn't go on in state schools too! I would move if you can.

It does go on in state schools, I spent yesterday afternoon watching the teachers` kids take the lead in the school show, yet again, when other more talented children get bit parts. Tis rubbish, and they should be ashamed of themselves.

We had a nightmare situation where the TA in DD1's class in yr3 was DD's best friend's mum. When they fell out (as 8yr old girls do) the mum was awful to my DD to the point where I couldn't get DD to go to school. It took ages to get to the bottom of it, and in the end DD's friend admitted she'd made up a story about DD which was totally false, which had caused her mum to take a dislike to my DD. It was incredibly unprofessional and very upsetting.

We have three teachers with their kids at the school and their kids do get the main parts, are usually the class reps and always first into the after school clubs. It is bloody annoying. One of the school governers is the husband of one of the teachers which I also think could potentially be an issue.

In DS's school most of the TA's are also mums of children at the school. I've never seen any signs of favouritism going on but it does make me a little bit uneasy that some of these mums who I've known for years now know how much I read with DS compared to the rest of the class, if DS has been naughty etc not to mention DS's probably exaggerated tales of how often we go to burger king, how terrible my cooking is compared with school dinners and about how I had a bag of wee attached to me after my C-section .

I was always relieved that my parents, who were both teachers, made certain that my sister and I never attended the schools they taught at.

I know plenty of teachers do have their own children at the same schools, and I am sure it works well in many cases, but when I was at secondary school (too many years ago to count now) I remember a number of them and many were not that happy. It wasn't necessarily that favouritism was shown, but they were treated differently by the other students, and it wasn't always pleasant for them. As teenagers, they often seemed to cringe when having to get into cars with mum or dad at the end of the day because lets face it, teens to not think that parents are cool pets to have.

I must say I felt a bit sorry for them.

Feel sorry for them. My mum was a teacher at my primary and my dad at my secondary school (rural place, no choice of schools). It really wasn't fun.

I didn't get shown favouritism but other pupils used to tease me, teachers seemed to expect more of me and minor misdemeanors that would never normally be communicated to parents always were.

gosh completely the opposite here.

lots of TAs and teachers have/had children at our first school and if you are a professional qualified TA/teacher it makes no difference.

you obviously shouldn't be teaching your own child in class but am amazed at the unprofessionalism described on here.

none of 'our children' get top parts, that's down to turn taking and the child wanting/ able to do the part.

for dcs middle school we choose the school that had lots of children whose parents were teachers there because for us it showed they felt it was a good school.

wouldn't be impressed with teachers who sent their own kids to grammar/ private if they were in school catchment. if it's good enough for their kids it's good enough for ours.

Well you can't exactly tell a member of staff that they're not allowed to send their children to a particular school, can you? Or sack them for enrolling their children in the school.

And there aren't many perks that come with being a teacher at a primary school, so I really wouldn't mind.

As for after school activities etc, if giving a place to the child of a memeber of staff means that that staff member doesn't have to rush off on the dot of finishing time, but can work late for the benefit of all teh other kids, well fair enough.

IME it wasn't so much the teachers/TAs kids which got favoured, (it would have been too blatantly obvious, small school) but instead it was those children who's parents were on the PTA, very active in the local church or who generally 'mucked in' allot with the school.

There was one family in particular who's kids were always winning the Easter Bonnet prize, best costume prize, getting the main parts in plays, being photographed by the press to 'represent' X Primary School in the press ... yada yada yada. It got boring, predictable and a bit inclined to put other parents and children off making much effort to try to win or take part in anything tbh.

''Who won? Oh ... so and so again ... yawn''.

I don't know if it still happens loads because DC too young for school but when I was at primary school, there was a really nice lad in my class at school whose Mum was the school secretary who then seemed to do some teaching (not sure she had any qualifications but it was a small private school so maybe they could get away with it...). She was so horrible to her son just in case it could be misconstrued as favouritism, that I felt sorry for him!

Yes, I've seen it a lot.

I went to a state infants school, and one of the teachers was the mum of one of my best friends. My friend got preferential treatment, and did the 'I'll tell my mum about you' thing all the time.

My two DDs went to a state primary and it was awful there. In elder DD's class, one of the girls was the DD of one of the governors. She always had the main part in plays, always picked to sing, always picked to read in church, always picked if there was a picture in the paper, and always represented the school whatever it was. It was the same for her two older siblings. She was good, but so were many of the other kids. I wasn't jealous, my DD was shy and wouldn't have wanted main parts, but all the parents got fed up of always seeing the same face. The girl was a bully too, and got away with terrible nastiness.

In the same school, the children of staff were always picked for everything. We had some amazing and very professional TAs, but there was one who was the mum of one of younger DD's classmates. She didn't work in their class, but was often on playground duty. Her DD was very bossy and liked to get her own way. The other girls didn't appreciate this, and refused to be told what to do, quite rightly. This girl would run to her mother and she would tell them all off for being nasty to her DD! They weren't being nasty, they were telling her that they wanted to share who made the decisions, not be told what to do all the time! I ran an evening activity (not to do with the school) and this girl came to it. She was very difficult and expected to get her own way all the time, so her mum was doing her no favours at all.

i work in a school and a LOT of tas/lsas/middays are parents. i don't see any favouritism at alllllll. seriously - none.

as I said I have never seen favouritism but if it's there it should be reported. a strong HT should also be aware of this and sort it out.

My mum taught at my primary school and I didn't get good parts in school plays or anything else, I wouldn't say I was treated any different to anyone else. She taught at the school before I started going there, so it obviously made sense for me to go there.

Yabu, they are entitled to send their children to whatever school they want, like anybody else.

DR used to get very huffy that the teachers DD got good parts in the school play.

She got the lead in the Brownie play (with my DD taking one of the other main parts) Why? because they were prepared to do some work and learn their lines.

May be she was good and willing because she'd done it before, I don't know. DD2 had only narratored with the script in front of her before.

IME it's support staffs relatives not teachers, who are less than professional. Lunch time supervisors who side with their GC and TAs who manage not to notice their DDs are manipulative little ......

DF not DR

you are not bu, lots of nepotism at our school, lots of teachers & ta's with kids at the school. The children of a governor and head of PTA both had main parts this year...

This has never reared its ugly head in my school - the only perk is the kids get to see mum or dad and sometimes get the odd sneaky peck on the cheek!

I always found it went to the children with highly active PA mothers. Perhaps being a pushy in-you-face gobshite just naturally rubs off in the offspring

I'm amazed this goes on. In fact, I'm surprised the opposite doesn't happen due to teachers being keen to show no favouritism.

Lots of children in DS's school have parents who are teachers there. I always thought it was more of a disadvantage than an advantage tbh.

I afraid if it's teachers and TAs doing this then your children are at a school with poor/weak management.

schools should be in able to deal with these issues. it's not hard.

if this happened at my kids schools I would have kicked up a fuss or moved them.

My mum taught at my school and I hated it. In fact there were three of us in my class who had mothers as teachers, and I don't think it was a good idea for any of us.

My mother was ever so professional and never told me anything about her work life which had the result that we didn't really talk to each other any more (no more 'how was your day' type stuff) plus she heard about everything I ever did wrong and was I suspect often a bit embarrassed about me. Also whenever she mentioned anything about her life it always got back to me, sometimes very hurtfully (she really didn't understand that when she said 'a daughter' everyone would assume she meant me as opposed to my sisters that they didn't know). Plus she had to teach me (RE and a smallish school) which I also hated although I don't think there was any doubt that she was a good teacher. And my friends liked her which was very annoying! I left the school at sixth form as a result.

Another friend had an incredibly bad relationship with her mother, which intensified when she moved to our school.

The third one had different issues as her mum told her everything and was generally not very professional at all (although lovely). As her mum was much loved she got fussed over by older girls which she found very intrusive.

So although I understand that parents might feel that it is a bad sign if a teacher sends their child elsewhere I would say to any teacher thinking about it don't!

At my state secondary 10% of teachers had at least one child at the school. I didn't notice significant favouritism because the school had quite strict rules on teachers not being allowed to 'deal with' their own children - must have been a logistical nightmare planning the timetable. In one case at least, it was a disaster for a girl in my year. Both her parents were senior teachers at the school and were foul bullies, hated by everyone. People reacted to that by venting a fair bit, which must have been uncomfortable listening for her - poor girl was actually really nice.

DH is still bitter because he feels his mum, who taught him and his siblings, was extra harsh on them so that she couldn't be accused of favouritism. He reckons he missed out on prizes, sweets etc because she always refused to give it to her own children.

I can hardly believe people have the gall to to favour their own kids. It is so transparent.