to have taught 2yo DD to say vagina?

[Maebe]

Because some of the others mums think I am

I don't like all the other names that are bandied around. If there was a 'softer' word, like the equivalent for willy, I would use that but there only seems to be words like daisy or minnie that don't actually indicate what you're talking about.

I know the 'what do you call it' question gets asked a lot, but AIBU to say vagina? Other mums think it is very weird/rude that DD now says "'gina"...

We have fannies in this house, also willies, bums, tummies, boobies, and we sometimes poo and wee, when we go to the loo. They're just words, and I think if willy is so widely accepted, then flower, minnie, noo-noo etc, sound too euphemistic. Fanny is a nice word!

DS is 4yo and has always called it his 'diddle' but he knows its proper name is a penis - every now and then he tells me "did you know that my diddle is a penis?"

DD is 2yo and calls hers a diddle too, copying off DS. We've told her its proper name, like we did with DS. She just looks confused and tells us "foofy". So her is either a diddle or a foofy depending on which she says.

We know what they're referring to though, which is the main thing.

I say vagina, vulva, clitoris, labia, penis, testicles, breasts to dd (4) & ds (3) as well as woo-woo (I don't know where that came from), willy and boobies. They use the kiddy names mostly - I think because they sound better to them and are easiest to say. Dd uses woo-woo and vagina interchangeably. Maybe it's because it sounds nicer to her than vulva, or maybe it gets more of a mention because it has relevance to a lot of interesting conversations: babies are pushed through vagina's, blood comes out of mummy's vagina etc. Vulva is vague, it doesn't come up much. I'm more likely to ask "Is your vagina stinging?" (too much soap!) or "is your shoulder aching?" than "Is there anything the matter with your vulva?" or "Do you feel any discomfort in your upper body?". YANBU.

I think as long as they call it something that they understand it doesn't really matter what the word is

But it does matter. Very much. Anyone who has done child protection training will have heard the story of the little girl telling her teacher that her uncle really loves her minnie, asks to see it every time he visits and likes to touch and kiss minnie.... Teacher, not unreasonably, assumes wee girl is innocently describing how she and her uncle spend quality time together playing with her Minnie Mouse doll....

It also matters the other way round - if a girl said her vagina hurt - a health professional/teacher could assume there was internal pain, not just a bit of stinging in the general area....

YY.

So either use a term that everybody is likely to recognise like fanny, or front bottom. They are unambiguous.

Or the correct anatomical terms.

If we're discussing specific parts, we'll use the proper term, but 99% of the time it's just the general area they want to talk about which they call their private or their personal bits.

It's vulva, that's what my 2dds call theirs. My ex in laws were horrified, especially when one daughter asked me what her clitoris was and I actually told her!

Can't bare 'front bottom' and yes, I know it is technically your bottom but generally a bottom is your anus/ rectum/ bum where poo comes from, my yoni doesn't want to be associated with that!

itsallgoingtobefine. You made that story up to prove a point.
When you have safeguarding training you cover all the word for it...and your story wouldn't have happened with a professional.

Someone whowasnt trained and unfamiliar with the term maybe, but not a professional lime you said.

Ffs if someone tells you something hurts and you don't understand you ask them....where about?

My mother tried endlessly to enforce the term vulva in our house (just one of her many quirks). None of us would ever use it because the shock from other people was palpable when he did.

itsallgoingtobefine. You made that story up to prove a point.
When you have safeguarding training you cover all the word for it...and your story wouldn't have happened with a professional

Nope. Safeguarding training with 3 different organisations. All told versions of that story. Two points:

1. You cannot possibly cover all of the words for "it". Whenever this topic comes up on MN someone always comes up with a name that no-one has ever heard before, and a lot also depends on region.

2. A child disclosing abuse is unlikely to disclose to a professional in the field. They may disclose to some one with no training (e.g. a friends mum) or they may disclose to someone with some training (eg a teacher). In either of these scenarios if an innocent/unfamiliar word is used to describe the genitals a disclosure could easily be "missed".

YANBU - Mine are being taught penis/nickname etc and vagina (vulva? really people? )/nickname

Just remembered -

My friend had a 3 year old when she was 2.5yr she was staying at her DGP. Her DGF was just getting out of the shower as she walked in to the bathroom. As he scrabbled for a towel she must of coped an eye full and shouted " EWWWWW grandad ! Your mouse is DIS-GUS-TIN!!! I DONT WANT TO LOOK AT YOUR ORIBLE MOUSE! "

She proceeded to tell everyone that visited that grandad had a 'orrible mouse' and she didn't want to look at it!!

Cue red faced nanna trying to explain to my friend what on earth she was talking about when they dropped her off home

Itsallgoing tobefine- and easily cleared up with a couple of questions such as 'can you point to your Minnie?'

I think you are right to teach her vagina. Don't listen to any of the posters on here. You are not being unreasonable. As if you would teach her vulva!! I think it's empowering.

Snoopy-I can't tell if you're being serious or funny so I'll answer as if you are being serious. Why is vagina more 'acceptable' than vulva?

The vagina is inside, the vulva is on the outside and the only part of the genitals that is easily seen. We called it a wee wee.

Call it whatever you're both happy with and be done with it. Fwiw, when I was young it was a fairy or a foof. Each to their own.

Also, if a toddler were to ask where his poo comes out - would you say bum? more than likely! Yet accordibg to the vuvla/vagina rule the answer should be anus yes?

This. Poo doesn't actually come out of your 'bum' does it, but that's what people say and it doesn't matter. Do people really teach their young kids to use 'vulva'? I have never heard anyone refer to it as their vulva. I have heard people refer to it as their vagina, vagine, vag, etc (although not kids!)

Crying with laughter at 'Fat China'!

Just call it a 'Yoni' and be done with it. Nice and easy to pronounce, and covers the area pretty comprehensively I think.

itsallgoingtobefine in your post you specifically mention those with training and in the next you say the opposite

Get your story straight

I can't believe any if you lot ^^^^ didn't think my orrible mouse story was funny! I was in tears when I was told!!!

Exactly, mistermaker. Can't help but this its being far too pedantic to differentiate between vagina and vulva when people don't differentiate between but and anus...

My point was about using AN anatomical word rather than one that's made up and quite specific to your family

I call otmtheir front bits.

But even if she can't get her mouth round the word vulva, if you are teaching her the anatomical names, then it is important there's a distinction. For example, in child abuse cases (which I was involved in, as a child, from a stranger) it is necessary to know whether it is their vagina or vulva.

My DD went through a phase of calling it her bagpipe. I don't know where. We called it her front bits. I think she heard a bagpipe player and heard the word, and got mixed up. Toddlers are weird...

I think vagina is a medical word. As is vulva. I think a 2yo using the words is bizarre personally.