Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to have taught 2yo DD to say vagina?

170 replies

Maebe · 11/12/2013 10:19

Because some of the others mums think I am Confused

I don't like all the other names that are bandied around. If there was a 'softer' word, like the equivalent for willy, I would use that but there only seems to be words like daisy or minnie that don't actually indicate what you're talking about.

I know the 'what do you call it' question gets asked a lot, but AIBU to say vagina? Other mums think it is very weird/rude that DD now says "'gina"...

OP posts:
Original poster
Maebe · 11/12/2013 10:54

It came up because we were naming body parts. Plus I do think that at 2 it is useful, she can point to specific body parts and say they hurt, so IMO she should be able try and explain that her vulva or vagina hurt.

OP posts:
WhereIsMyHat · 11/12/2013 10:55

Chemenger, as a mother of boys you get this at a certain age is a worried tone-
'Mummy, where's your willy gone?!'
Which leads to a discussion about paginas/ wizard sleeves/ kippers/ vulvas etc.

BrianTheMole · 11/12/2013 10:56

Call it what you want. What does it matter? But if you want to be right, then vagina isn't right, and nor is 'gina'.

Original poster
Maebe · 11/12/2013 10:58

I know gina isn't right. But nor is 'wasser' for water, 'cock' for clock, 'beebies' for telly. She's 2, she's hardly speaking fluently...

Fanny is another choice, I suppose, though where and when I grew up that was more of a rude/insulting word. Hmm, might think about that one.

I don't see why any parents should avoid giving it a name though. It's not a rude part of the body, it shouldn't be avoided. Which is why I dislike euphamisms for it.

OP posts:
cingolimama · 11/12/2013 10:59

When asked by my 3.5 year old, I said vagina (I know, I know - wrong! it's vulva). Anyway, I did say vagina. And DD said, "Vagina, that's a lovely name!" and then "mummy, is there a Queen Vagina?"

notsomuchroomattheinn · 11/12/2013 11:01

I don't know why it matters quite so much for girls to be anatomically correct when boys can say willy, todge, widge, or whatever. DD is 13 now and just used to say bottom pointing to the area she was talking about, now she's 13 and says fanjo like me!
As long as you call it something recognisable it's not a massive issue.
Do you say faeces, urine and abdomen as well or poo, wee and tummy like everyone else.

MadamNoo · 11/12/2013 11:02

YANBU to want to use accurate terminology, but if so vagina is not correct - your vagina is the bit inside you. use vulva if that's what you mean. personally I'd go for fanny though, for general private bits.

waceystills · 11/12/2013 11:02

That's what I thought eurochick. Fanny is the equivalent of willy surely?

Curlyweasel · 11/12/2013 11:04

How about clown's pocket... sounds nice and child friendly ;)

Original poster
Maebe · 11/12/2013 11:05

Cingolimama Grin

For me it's that there is no one simple, instantly recognisable word at all. Not in the way that there is tummy, willy, poo etc. It just ends up a random collection of family-specific euphemisms - most of which I only know through MN anyway. Before being on MN, if (though I can't imagine the circumstances when this would happen!) some young girl said to me "I've hurt my nini" I would just be... Confused

I'm defaulting to (reasonably) anatomically correct because there's no normal, universally recognised other word for it.

OP posts:
SelfRighteousPrissyPants · 11/12/2013 11:06

My son was in reception last year and some of the Mums were horrified that the kids were going to get taught anatomically correct words for their 'bits' Confused Apparently older relatives will have heart attacks if the children refer to penises or vaginas Grin

Original poster
Maebe · 11/12/2013 11:07

Is it only me who grew up in an area where fanny was snigger-worthy?!

Or maybe it's a generational thing. I can just see my mum's face if I said "fanny"!!

Appreciates that worrying what my mum will say completely undermines my point

OP posts:
Chivetalking · 11/12/2013 11:07

I very much doubt she'll be getting to her teens or older and calling it anything like its proper name so long term it isn't going to matter a chuff Wink what you call it now.

BTW 'Yoni' is popular in certain quarters Wink

Curlyweasel · 11/12/2013 11:09

we just use the term privates in our house - reflects what they are and how they should be treated...

valiumredhead · 11/12/2013 11:10

Fanny was definitely rude years ago! Think it's more acceptable nowGrin

Original poster
Maebe · 11/12/2013 11:11

I'm obviously showing my age then Grin

I quite like yoni but again it's a bit of a MN term for it and would be just as confusing for other people.

OP posts:
notsomuchroomattheinn · 11/12/2013 11:17

I do know what you mean about the different terms.
Two girls in nursery came to me crying that one of the boys was trying to look at their flowers and they didn't like it, I went marching off outside as I assumed he was in the garden not the toilets Confused

However I think Fanny while a bit ugly is no different to willy. Both were equally snigger worthy when I as at school.

notsomuchroomattheinn · 11/12/2013 11:21

My Mum always says down below in that weird voice where you over exaggerate the lip movement but barely say the words!

xCupidStuntx · 11/12/2013 11:22

Oh kipper is hilarious!!

It's front bum here, or fan Blush

middleclassdystopia · 11/12/2013 11:25

I just don't understand the angst and at times anger about this.

Nicknames are fine but surely it's also important to feel confident using correct terms. It is knowledge and body confidence.

I grew up in a household that was very repressed about sexual matters. It is amazing at how many people are still embarrassed and shut off about sex and anatomy.

I'm pregnant and I have an 8 and 4 year old. There have been inevitable questions about how baby got there, comes out etc.

Some have been a bit shocked that I have told them that a baby is born by being pushed through the vagina. But kids don't have the same hang ups, we give it to them by inappropiate reactions.

I'm not smug, I just believe given my own experiences growing up, it's okay to be honest. I honestly think some people worry we sexualise kids by giving them such information.

Yet how hypocritical when you look at the media images and sexist attitudes kids are bombarded with. So it's okay for the Daily Mail to call an 8 year old sexy but don't tell her about vulvas...

thebody · 11/12/2013 11:28

front bum and back bum for dds ( thanks mom).

for dss it was noo noo, that was pre tellytubbies and naughty noo noo!

caused a lot of hilarity with the lads as they are 10 years older than the girls who loved tellytubbies! Grin

SaucyJack · 11/12/2013 11:33

Fanny was the kind of word that drunk blokes down the pub would use when I were a lass. Definitely not for children.

DD2 calls hers her privates. Usually whilst bending over with her pants round her ankles............

valiumredhead · 11/12/2013 11:37

Notsomuch-my doctor says that!

Original poster
Maebe · 11/12/2013 11:40

Me neither, middleclass. It came up because I was around a friend's house with some other mums and toddlers and DD was happily pointing at body parts and naming them, and there were some real Shock faces when she said "gina".

I don't want to be smug about it but as you say, I just want her to use relatively correct terms for body parts. Little nicknames have their place and I'm sure many family use todge, winky etc for boys instead of willy, but it seems so much more prevalent to give girls cute, almost nonsensical nicknames for their vulva and vagina.

OP posts:
ALittleBitOfChristmasMagic · 11/12/2013 11:41

Would fanny not be the equivalent of dick ? I think here in Scotland it would be ?