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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to find it a bit cringesome when friends invite you to watch them in their amateur plays/bands?

50 replies

Mintyy · 10/12/2013 21:42

I think I probably am, tbh, but still I would rather spend proper money and go and see professionals doing it.

Oh dear.

OP posts:
HermioneWeasley · 10/12/2013 21:44

Not at all. Usually ghastly. Unfortunately I can never get a babysitter.

Original poster
Mintyy · 10/12/2013 21:47

Oh that is unfortunate for you Hermione Flowers.

OP posts:
ICameOnTheJitney · 10/12/2013 21:48

YABU Amateur dramatics are fantastic and I'm a professional actress. Don't be so mean. People do this out of love...and you should go along and take pleasure in their passion. Besides, some of the performers will be as good as pros....I remember a couple of older men who were bloody brilliant when I was a teen and did amdram...they'd been in the local group for about 50 years...and those years of experience were as good as any training.

Dawndonnaagain · 10/12/2013 21:48

I don't think so, I like to support my friends.

lilola · 10/12/2013 21:49

yanbu. I'd quite like to see my friends in a play but this is probably only because I don't have any experience of it. I do have

Grennie · 10/12/2013 21:49

I remember going to see an ex bf in his band. After they played, I cheered and clapped, as did his friends. One of his friends who was also cheering and clapping turned to me and said - They were awful weren't they. And i agreed. They were terrible.

Topaz25 · 10/12/2013 21:50

It probably depends on the closeness of the friendship TBH. I find it awkward when acquaintances ask me as I think they're just trying to boost audience numbers but if a close friend asked I would be interested in their hobby.

lilola · 10/12/2013 21:51

oops posted too soon. I do have plenty of experience of friends in bands though and I can honestly say none of them are bands I would pay money to see if I didn't know the people in them. They're not all bad, actually they're usually v talented but the music is not to my taste.

I still go though cos I'd hate for none of my friends to see me perform if I was in a band

CailinDana · 10/12/2013 21:53

Yabu. A true friend offers encouragement and support. I love seeing my friends in plays and bands, in fact I've made a right tit of myself by crying a few times - seeing someone you love express their talents is really special IMO.

darkdays · 10/12/2013 21:54

I would enjoy it, after all it's my friends having fun and enjoying something.

Dilidali · 10/12/2013 22:00

I am lucky enough to have artist-y friends:musicians, painters/poets/writers. I am supporting them, so yes, I am always delighted to be invited along/ read the latest book/listen to their music.
Yes, I do cringe sometimes, but you know... They are my friends.

hoboken · 10/12/2013 22:02

And I think we Thesps would prefer you to do so Minty. Enjoy. We do

Alisvolatpropiis · 10/12/2013 22:02

Yanbu.

You just aren't.

SledYuleCated · 10/12/2013 22:07

Oh god, it's horrific. And I somehow seem to have made friends with a right arty farty bunch. I am not arty. Just farty

There is only one friend's band I've outright refused to go and see. The rest I put on my supportive face and internally grimace my way through it.

Fluffyears · 10/12/2013 22:20

I had one who kept putting her show on Facebook as an event. Them one of her friends couldn't make it so she did one of those awful 'so upset' posts. Then when someone asked what was wrong she started slagging off the mate who couldn't make it. The girls reason for not being able to go.....donating a kidney to her brother!

Original poster
Mintyy · 10/12/2013 22:38
Smile

But if you have a friend whose hobby is fantastic vegetable growing or amazing knitting, you aren't expected to support them in quite such a full-on way, are you?

Oh, I don't know, I just sometimes find it hard to enjoy. Sorry.

OP posts:
TooTabooHasBigShinyBaubles · 10/12/2013 22:38

YANBU.

I have close relations who are heavily involved in Am Dram, its great that they get so much enjoyment and have such a fab social life and are pursuing their dreams etc.

BUT...I don't want to sit on uncomfortable chairs in a dusty church hall and watch them perform with faux American accents (with a Mancunian twang) and rickety sets.

I do support them, I go along and watch (and inwardly cringe) and tell them it was great afterwards.

I just wish they would realise it is their passion and that not everybody shares it. I mean, my relative is also a keen angler, I wouldn't want or be expected to sit on a river bank with him would i?! Grin

TooTabooHasBigShinyBaubles · 10/12/2013 22:39

Xpost OP but YY to sharing hobbies!

ZombiePenguin · 10/12/2013 23:01

YANBU.

I WILL come. And I WILL say how wonderful they were. But I WILL have sat their bored out of mind and, if dark and no one can see me, closing my eyes and daydreaming.

They won't ever know how I truly feel though, tbf.

funkybuddah · 10/12/2013 23:06

I go to a friends gigs whenever I can (involves travelling) but I genuinely like the music and they are getting very popular in their 'scene' so it's all good.

ENormaSnob · 10/12/2013 23:08

Yanbu

tinmug · 10/12/2013 23:09

A true friend offers encouragement and support.

This is true. I just wouldn't choose to be friends with anyone who was involved in the theatre in any capacity, though. At least, not if they expected me to ever attend. I don't expect my non-running friends to give a fuck about how many miles I ran tonight or what my pace was and I don't really see how that's any different.

tinmug · 10/12/2013 23:10

(YANBU OP)

K8Middleton · 10/12/2013 23:10

It's worse when it's your parents doing the AmDram. Especially when half the company are serial bedhoppers/shaggers and you're thinking "ooh isn't that X's mum from school?" and then you remember that she ran off with Y's dad who is hamming it up in grand style while X's dad tries to act him off the stage.

I left one performance half way through. Apparently it was a very poor show on my part but really, mine was not the poor show..!

I don't mind if they're good Grin

DiseasesOfTheSheep · 10/12/2013 23:15

An ex of mine used to play piano reasonably well in his parents' place, then he started singing too and it was just dire Grin so cringey!

I'm more than happy to support my friends in am dram type stuff though. Some of it is quite watchable and enjoyable - and heck, they're still doing it way better than I could anyway!