to be annoyed that dp has bought me jewelry for Christmas?

[bluecheeseforbreakfast]

I think I probably am being unreasonable but I am holding out hope that I'm not.

Dp has his birthday just before Christmas, we don't usually give each other much at Christmas mainly because we travel abroad so the idea of filling up our luggage allowance with gifts to give each other seems daft ( we do take lots of gifts for my family who we stay with over Christmas and we are given gifts whilst abroad.)

This year we decided that I'd "give" dp a new bit of our he needs for a sport he plays as his Christmas gift, I vaguely mentioned I'd like to look for a new camera in the sales as my Christmas gift.

Today we went shopping. I asked if I could go shopping by myself to pick up a few bits and bobs. Dp looked after 1 year old ds. I went to pick up some surprises for dp's birthday, I'm giving him 12 things from me and ds ( as dp has been a dad for 12 months) they are things like his favorite chocolate bar, a bottle of his favorite spirit ( small bottle) painting by ds, cosy jumper as dp is on paternity leave after Christmas a framed photo of dp and ds. All cheap things and lots of them are things we would buy anyway.

When I met up with dp he told me "I got you a present aswell!" then gave me a small bag with a jewelry shop name on it and a small box in it and asked me to put it in my bag.

I said to him that I hoped he had someone in mind who wore jewelry to give the jewelry to as it would be daft to give it to someone for example like me who never wears jewelry and can't see the point in having expensive easy to loose items.

Me and dp have shared finances so he has in effect spending our money on gift that he hasn't thought through. In our discussion he told me the jewelry cost 100 pounds. There would be so many lovely things that I'd enjoy for 100 pounds, there would be lots of options of things I would enjoy more for 15 pounds lush bath bomb, bottle of wine, box of chocolates and the promise to put ds to bed one night whilst I have a long hot bath if your reading dp

Aibu to be annoyed that dp has just spent money rather than time and energy to get me a present? I was happy with the no presents at Christmas, much happier than jewelry that I will never wear. I feel like dp doesn't know me at all.

Well I thought you had a point before the 'it's what i want to see' comment.

I wonder if he felt a bit pressured by the fact you clearly had a plan involving gifts for him.

Shops do not accept earring
As returns
So let's see how that works out !!

The shop should accept the earrings if the packaging is still intact.

We will see won't we

Years ago my DH bought me a solid platinum and diamond encrusted bangle from Tiffany for our 10th wedding anniversary.

It was beautiful but something like a filmstar would wear to a premiere. Not something you could wear every day. It would have sat in a box and got an outing every so often, even then it would have been mistaken for a £20 bit of costume jewellery from Next. I just couldn't justify £1000s of pounds sitting in box and never seeing the light of day. So back it went.

But I wasn't rude to him. I just said I'd probably never wear it as it was rigid and sat uncomfortably on the bones on my wrist, which it did.

I also don't wear jewellery very much, but I too would prefer one expensive piece of jewellery than a bar of chocolate, bottle of wine and various other small things. Obviously I'm not you but then I assume your DP isn't a mindreader. He probably thought he was being generous. I think you are being rather churlish and ungrateful.

p.s. you don't have to accept that ywbu just because other people like jewellery.

The crucial point is that your DP knows you don't wear it, by choice.

YABU. You bought DH a jumper when you admit that he doesn't currently wear them, how is the jewellery different? Maybe he has bought it as a gift from your child?

A photo in a frame has no practical use, just looks pretty so how is that different to his gift?

Don't worry OP, I'm sure your miserable reaction to his attempt at a thoughtful surprise will put him of ever trying again.

I think you were rather rude and ungrateful - especially insisting that the present goes back before christmas!!

However, I do think that, if you are going to spend a lot of money on a present for your spouse, it is far more sensible to ask them what they want.

For example - I have already had my birthday present (my birthday is this coming weekend) - we were at the garden centre, and I saw an apple tree that has three different apple stocks grafted onto it, so I should get three different sorts of apple from it - and dh was happy to buy that for me. Last week, he came home and said that, because the car MOT and service had cost so much less than he had budgeted, and because H Samuels were doing a sale on watches, he wanted to buy me a new watch, as a surprise birthday present. He'd thought about choosing one himself, and surprising me with it, but decided it would be better to let me choose one myself.

I am no less grateful and touched than I would have been, if he'd surprised me with it, he is just as happy at having bought me the watch, and I will have a watch I love.

Just popping back with an update.

Dp too tge jewelry back, he was given a full refund despite some of the jewelry being earnings.

We are going to by a new flash for my camera in the sales, I'm very excited about this!

Yanbu. Glad you got your money back.