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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be annoyed that dp has bought me jewelry for Christmas?

111 replies

bluecheeseforbreakfast · 09/12/2013 15:23

I think I probably am being unreasonable but I am holding out hope that I'm not.

Dp has his birthday just before Christmas, we don't usually give each other much at Christmas mainly because we travel abroad so the idea of filling up our luggage allowance with gifts to give each other seems daft ( we do take lots of gifts for my family who we stay with over Christmas and we are given gifts whilst abroad.)

This year we decided that I'd "give" dp a new bit of our he needs for a sport he plays as his Christmas gift, I vaguely mentioned I'd like to look for a new camera in the sales as my Christmas gift.

Today we went shopping. I asked if I could go shopping by myself to pick up a few bits and bobs. Dp looked after 1 year old ds. I went to pick up some surprises for dp's birthday, I'm giving him 12 things from me and ds ( as dp has been a dad for 12 months) they are things like his favorite chocolate bar, a bottle of his favorite spirit ( small bottle) painting by ds, cosy jumper as dp is on paternity leave after Christmas a framed photo of dp and ds. All cheap things and lots of them are things we would buy anyway.

When I met up with dp he told me "I got you a present aswell!" then gave me a small bag with a jewelry shop name on it and a small box in it and asked me to put it in my bag.

I said to him that I hoped he had someone in mind who wore jewelry to give the jewelry to as it would be daft to give it to someone for example like me who never wears jewelry and can't see the point in having expensive easy to loose items.

Me and dp have shared finances so he has in effect spending our money on gift that he hasn't thought through. In our discussion he told me the jewelry cost 100 pounds. There would be so many lovely things that I'd enjoy for 100 pounds, there would be lots of options of things I would enjoy more for 15 pounds lush bath bomb, bottle of wine, box of chocolates and the promise to put ds to bed one night whilst I have a long hot bath if your reading dp

Aibu to be annoyed that dp has just spent money rather than time and energy to get me a present? I was happy with the no presents at Christmas, much happier than jewelry that I will never wear. I feel like dp doesn't know me at all.

OP posts:
xCupidStuntx · 09/12/2013 16:03

Oh how rude of you, your poor husband!

JeanSeberg · 09/12/2013 16:04

You seem confident that you're perfectly reasonable so why ask?

Binkyridesagain · 09/12/2013 16:06

Just because it was a in a bag from a jewellers doesn't necessarily mean that it is jewellery. Lots of jewellers sell other things.

HavantGuard · 09/12/2013 16:07

I am very sorry IAm but your situation doesn't mean no one else can complain.

JollySparklyGiant · 09/12/2013 16:08

I'm a bit shocked people think Yabu, op. If my DH bought me make up for Christmas I'd be hugely pissed off. I don't wear make up. It would be a total waste of our money.

Mrswellyboot · 09/12/2013 16:09

Er.. My dh got me fishing rod for my birthday ( no i dont fish ) while eight months pregnant.
Confused

Post me on the jewellery of you don't like it!!

Ah, only joking.

seafoodudon · 09/12/2013 16:09

YANBU. I would take a sneaky peek!!! I often do this as if it turns out to be something I'd like then I can be extra happy in anticipation, and if it turns out to be something I don't want, I will have had plenty of time to get over the disappointment and I won't be disappointed when opening. My DH is often a bit off with gifts - this is entirely my fault - his approach is to tell me exactly what he wants, or usually, to buy it from amazon and hand to me to wrap! He doesn't get why I don't want to do the same, so I know I would be BU if I actually complained!

woozlebear · 09/12/2013 16:12

Really don't get why people think YABU. Presumably they haven't read the bit where you say you don't wear jewellery Confused.

I would be annoyed if my DH spent £100 (also a significant amount for presents in our house) on something that he should know I wouldn't use, and which could have got me something else I'd have really really liked /used instead.

fatlazymummy · 09/12/2013 16:13

I see your point OP. I don't wear jewellry either, and I would also consider it a waste of joint money, even if it was an engagement ring.
However, it does sound rude and ungrateful to say anything. I would have just pretended to like it, then taken it back to the shop after Christmas.

QuintessentialShadows · 09/12/2013 16:14

Rather £100 worth of jewelery than 12 pieces of tat.

IamInvisible · 09/12/2013 16:15

Havant I know that, but these threads are so petty and ungrateful.

On MN right now there are people who can't afford heating, can't buy food, can't buy presents for the children. Then there are loads, daily, of spoilt people chucking their dummies out of the pram because they don't like the present that they haven't even been given yet!

Seriously, people need to get a grip and get some perspective!

piratecat · 09/12/2013 16:21

the bit where he gave you the gift in it's bag, to carry would have pissed me off the most.

tracypenisbeaker · 09/12/2013 16:24

Poor you Hmm

Why did you let the silly little man run wild when you know what he really should have bought you in the first place?

FFS, I'm sick of people acting as though they are bloody owed presents at this time of year, and there's some sort of criteria that must be met.

MarthasChin · 09/12/2013 16:29

You miserable sod! Bah Humbug Xmas Grin

Fluffycloudland77 · 09/12/2013 16:32

Leave him, it will only get worse.

CaptainTripps · 09/12/2013 16:38

She doesn't wear jewellery. Why in god's name did her partner buy her something she will never use? And why shouldn't she be annoyed and bemused as a consequence? She is not being entitled or first world-ish about this at all.

NB OP - jewelry is the American spelling. Ignore the correction if you are American.

RedLondonBus · 09/12/2013 16:39

quint I agree with you there! Xmas Grinat 12 pieces of tat

whereisshe · 09/12/2013 16:43

I see where you're coming from, but on the other hand if you're not a little bit gracious about it you might slowly erode any interest he has in buying you presents at all... And presents are lovely! (Even when they're really wrong)

Can you let him down gently so you don't quash his enthusiasm, along the lines of "oh it's beautiful but jewellery is so personal", "sorry I'm so fussy" etc? Then take it back and get a refund to spend on something you'd prefer?

I have to say though, he is asking for trouble if you agreed "small/no presents" and now he's bought something not so small. I always warn DH in advance when I do that! (Currently in trouble as we agreed no presents this year as DC1 due soon, but then thought of a perfect pres so bought it... But I have warned him!)

thebody · 09/12/2013 16:43

don't worry sweetheart when you have been married for 25 years with 4 kids down the line you will be lucky he buys you a bar of soap!

shewhowines · 09/12/2013 16:44

I can't believe there are so many people who think Yabu.
If money is plentiful then it doesn't matter what you are bought, it's the thought that counts.
For most of us money is limited. Why are so many people happy to WASTE money, that could be spent in much better ways? And it is a waste if it will be neither used or wanted.

NoComet · 09/12/2013 16:46

YANBU to want family money wisely spent

YABU not to appreciate your DP did go and get you something.

As for giving it you to carry, men are practical souls, if you had a bag he'd give it you without thinking.

As for not noticing you don't wear jewellery, that's par for the course. DH and I have been together 25 years, he still can't find me a pair of long slightly ethnic, my style earrings.

DD2 got me two perfect pairs aged 10.

Either of the DDs could find me a top, DH not a chance. If it isn't the cynical he just doesn't register it's existence.

Consequently, this year he is on a wireless headphone hunt.

NoComet · 09/12/2013 16:47

Electrical (no idea where cynical came from)

HavantGuard · 09/12/2013 16:58

True Iam.

HavantGuard · 09/12/2013 17:01

And I hope you have a lovely family celebration when your DH does get back home.

Sleepyfergus · 09/12/2013 17:10

JollySparklyGiant - maybe your DH was dropping hints?

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