To think that if you can't control your children, you shouldn't come to hotels?

[HomeIsWhereTheGinIs]

DH and I are currently staying at a very nice boutique hotel in the countryside. It's been a hell of a busy year and so the idea was to treat ourselves to a couple of days somewhere luxurious and to do lots of reading and sleeping. However, we're staying at a place that's converted old outbuildings into suites, two suites to a building. And the family next door have the two noisiest children on the face of the planet.

Yesterday morning we were working up by the children shrieking to one another and then for their mother (it appeared she'd pushed them out into the communal stairwell to play). A phone complaint later to reception and the noise ceased (and they glared at us every time they passed us in the hotel). But damage done, we were already awake (and given that I am exhausted all the time from this pregnancy, it was awful not being able to go back to sleep). Yesterday evening, exactly the same thing. Screaming children sent to "play" on the stairs and landing outside our room where they screamed, ran around and then got into an actual fight (complete with shouted insults and wails for a parent). It happened again this morning at 7am (there goes our lie-in) and this time the call to reception had no effect.

I'm really cross that I haven't been able to have a lie-in because of their lazy parenting. I remember going to hotels with my family when I was small and my mother coming down on me very hard when I was too loud and in danger of disturbing the other guests. They're the only children at the hotel and their running and screaming in the library yesterday was attracting frowns from every other couple there. AIBU to hate the parents of the noisy brats for being so selfish and entitled? My feeling is that when you have kids, you don't get to just ignore behaviour that might be ruining an experience for other people.

I think everyone is agreeing that the parents of the DCs in the hallway were BU.

But 'curbing tantrums' comes across as the sort of naive statement made by someone who has no children (yet).

Thank you Caitlin17. Actually you're quite right, I could have pretended that I thought they might not be aware. I will try that one next time.

Agreed re entitled people thinking it's ok to ruin other people's holidays. It isn't!

YANBU - this is precisely why when we go away with DS we stay in cottages or caravans where possible, not hotels. However we could take him to hotels if we chose as I like to think that we know enough about appropriate behaviour to make sure he didn't inconvenience or upset the other guests.

It is different to be woken in the night by children that can't sleep and are crying - this happened to us when we stayed in the Hilton at Aviemore at around midnight, it was a bit annoying to be woken up, but I felt sorry for the parents as I'm sure they needed their sleep more than we did, oh and we were staying in a family room, so likely other family rooms around us.

In this case the parents had a totally reasonable option of actually parenting their own children so as not to spoil the enjoyment of the other guests around them. One parent should have taken the DCs out for a walk or early breakfast, or stuck them in front of childrens TV, or done just about anything to ensure that the peace of the people beside them was not disturbed, apart from anything else from the behaviour described the DCs sound quite young, so sticking them on the stairs sounds a rather unsafe option.

I would have complained too OP, in the same way that we complained when having a DS free night at a boutique hotel and a huge and long row erupted between the couple in the room next door starting from 11.30pm onwards - at least that had the benefit of being quite interesting.

Id have complained to the hotel. But if nothing happened fairly rapidly I'd have stormed out into the lobby bit and told the kids off very loudly. And then hammered their door and told the parents very forcefully about what I thought about their selfish behaviour in letting their kids ruin your second morning lie in and demand that they stop having sex and look after their own kids instead of letting them ruin the rest of the morning.

I bet the reason they didn't shut up this morning is because they kicked the kids out of the room so they could relax and then unplugged the phone so reception couldn't call them to complain.

A colicky baby is one thing. Unsupervised shrieky children running up and down the hall is quite another.

Rookie you're quite right. They were young but not toddlers, I'd guess about 5 and 7 maybe? I still can't get over the fact that their parents just booted them out!

Children can be quiet, imo, especially if they are old enough to be turfed out into a corridor to piss off every other guest in the hotel.

Every hotel I have been in for the last 20+ years has had a TV in the room, I would have put that on. If it hadn't, I would have taken books, gadgets, colouring etc to keep them occupied.

Oh and to all the hand wringing apologists I frankly don't care what the reason is. Your enormous sense of entitlement that you are free to spoil other people's holidays is just not on. And yes I did once have a small baby.

^ This, exactly this!!!!!!!

OP: Why are you MNing when you are trying to have a peaceful weekend away?

And this is why I don't do hotels with my children - its just too stressful. The one time we did do lovely hotel in the cotswolds I spent the whole time shushing them that it was no fun for everyone.

YANBU - very naughty to send the children into the communal area.

I took the comments on the OP made to mean she wouldn't ignore the effects on others rather than she was going to be some sort of miracle worker.

The children being discussed here aren't babies or toddlers from the sounds of it they're old enough to be bundled up and shooed outside with one of the parents.

OP is not slating parents of small children to young to reason with, or coming across as if she has pie in the sky ideas of parenthood.

It is anti-social and rude for the parents to let two children run riot in the corridor of a hotel no matter what the time of day is to be honest. There could be someone trying to get a toddler off for a nap in one of the rooms - which childs rights trump the others then?

That would really do my head in. At 5 and 7 they are old enough to behave themselves too, completely different from toddler tantrums (unless of course they have underlying issues which in this case I doubt as they were on their own)

The comments in this thread made me ask my mum what were me and my brothers like, apparently we never tantrummed. So either she put the fear of god into us or she was blessed with 3 angelic children. I suspect the former.

OP: Why are you MNing when you are trying to have a peaceful weekend away?

Because she wants to? Part of relaxing is having time to yourself, maybe do a bit of chatting online...

We stopped overnight in a travel inn type place on the way to Wales over the summer, staying in a family room. My DD2 2.5yo threw the mother of all tantrums at about 10.30pm and it went on for a while 9teething the last of her molars). DD1 4.5 joined in at times as she was disturbed by this. DH and I did everything we could but there was no stopping this tantrum. I felt sorry for our neighbours but there was nothing I could do at midnight in the middle of Birmingham.

I would never take them to a 'naice' hotel at the moment. On the holiday I had refused to share a single space with the ILs as FIL has zero tolerance for childhood noise If I ever catch him smacking one of my children for merely being ordinarily boisterous again he will also get a smack... Even then we ended up with a nephew using our living room as a bedroom so we had to keep the kids quiet all week. The night he bashed on the ceiling at 3am as DD2 was screaming in pain, while the calpol/brufen combo got to work, was his last night there.

Having said that 6 months later (with all teeth present) they are getting much better at room shares in other places. So we're giving the same hotel another try over Xmas. Fingers crossed.

The worst disturbance we've had in hotels was from adults.

Last time we stayed in a budget hotel the people in the next room had visitors in until after 11.30pm, all singing and chatting loudly; then up again at 6am making even more noise.

And we've given up staying in more expensive hotels on a Saturday night after being disturbed by wedding parties. We got a huge refund from Hilton after a night of listening to drunken yobs roaring up and down the corridor; trying our door; someone ringing our room at 3am etc etc.

On the one hand what you've described is a reflection of the "I'll do what I want" endemic in our society. On the other I'd be interested in your views in about 5 years time

This thread is hilarious.

The op continuously and patiently explains that the tantrumming/crying/early waking DC were understandable and she was obviously not delighted but all such behaviours are unavoidable and not a problem.

Her issue is with the parents continuously sending the chikdren to play on the stairs so that they annoy someone else, not them.

Yet hours later people are still snarking away with the 'oh yeah - well good luck with having non tantrumming toddlers ' style shite.

There should be an extension to RTFT which encompasses 'and don't reply if you can't understand it and btw you are not Jeremy Paxman so stop trying to reinterpret everything said to try and make your spurious nonsense relevant'

Umm indeed.
I think 'curbing tantrums' meant not inflicting them on other people by shoving dc in the stairwell. But people love a chance to accuse posters of being smug

Pagwatch your post needs a like button

OP YANBU Obviously you were unfortunate to end up besides a couple of selfish fuckwits who didn't give a damn that their kids disturbed other people so long as they weren't bothered by them.

It's funny how people have gotten so defensive over someone saying they'd try to 'curb tantrums'. Surely we all try to curb tantrums. Sure, it doesn't always work but hey ho

Not every toddler has tantrums, Chunderella. DS1 didn't.

I agree with what Pagwatch has posted.

Pagwatch thank you. You've hit the nail on the head. Bit confused by the sidetracking here!

Chunderella; I've never backtracked and you're talking about two different points. I was cross because the kids were sent away to annoy us and the parents did nothing about it. I mentioned that when my child is born I will try to deal with tantrums on a different post - and stand by it. I never said it would always work (indeed, I'm sure it won't always work) but I will always try. And if I know, in advance, that my children arent old enough to be able to behave, I won't take them to hotels and I certainly won't ignore them. My whole point is that the parents in this case did nothing, nothing at all, to curb the behaviour of their children. Actually that's not true. Clearly they found their children as tedious as we did because their only action was to boot them out so they didn't have to deal with them!

I hope you didn't get charged the full price OP?