Aibu and a bit gross or was this a twatty comment from boyfriend? (maybe tmi)

[RainbowShadow]

When I have sex with my boyfriend we don't use a condom (I am on the pill and we've both been tested etc)

Anyway after we're finished I usually like to cuddle for maximum 10 minutes (give or take) and then I'll use the bathroom, wipe with tissue and then use a babywipe. Then I'll have a shower in the morning - as I do anyway.

Last night again after we'd finished (we're talking minutes), bf asked me if I was going to clean myself, I replied yes of course I was and that I always do anyway.

He then replied - yeah you do .... but not always straight away, and I don't want you to get all horrible down there.

[poshfrock]

And if he does have a penis beaker try filling it with limescale remover.

I once had a boyfriend who literally used to withdraw and go straight to the bathroom to clean himself. No cuddles, didn't even lie down. He was very odd. I'm more of a sleep in the wet patch kind of girl so probably a bit scummy by MN standards.

[Mia4]

Hmmm sounds very odd OP and possibly offensive, did you call him on it?

Some people get odd ideas re:fluids though. My sister always believed that you had to go for a wee right after sex or you'd get cystitis. Is he being a dick or could he be genuinely ignorant and think you'll end up with thrush if you don't rush off?

If it's the former, call him on it or as Posh says 'suggest he cleans it up.'

[LividofLondon]

"Some people get odd ideas re:fluids though. My sister always believed that you had to go for a wee right after sex or you'd get cystitis"

I used to be prone to cystitis and my GP told me to have a wee as soon as possible after sex to flush the tubes out so to speak flush bacteria from the urethra that may have gone up there due to the action of intercourse. Doing so has made a massive difference for me and I've rarely had cystitis since. While I'm in the bathroom I figure I may as well freshen up too so I rinse myself off (jug of water poured over me whilst I'm sitting on the loo does a brilliant job...better than wipes IMHO). Besides, I don't really like that sticky feeling and would rather clean up quite quickly after sex so that I'm ready to go for possible round 2.

"Tell him your preferred method of cleaning up is felching and ask him to get cracking."
LOL!

[Mia4]

The funny thing is livid that my Dsis has never had it so i don't know who even told her in the beginning. I agree I do go for a wee a while after sex but my Dsis was so paranoid she once made her DP stop midway because he was 'going on a bit long' and she thought she should force out a cautionary wee. I would have thought that forcing yourself to wee would be a bad thing, she's such a tiny bladder is it is.

[MaidOfStars]

Just to add a different perspective...

How would posters advise someone to approach a colleague about BO? Or a friend about bad breath? I assume the answers would involve a combo of 'Just tell them', 'Draw them into conversation about general hygiene' and 'Casually offer them mints/deodorant'.

And how would you feel about the recipient of such advice/prompting if they responded with 'Fuck the fuck off, you controlling twat, it's my body and I'll do what I want'.

So now, how would you advise someone to approach their girlfriend about a less-than-pristine vagina?

OP, this is slightly tongue-in-cheek, before you explode in offended horror....

[jammiedonut]

I was given the same advice as Livid when I was having the 'birds and bees' chat with my mum at 16. I've never had cystitis outside of pregnancy and it's almost an automated response to dtd, quick cuddle then off for a wee. Dh gets slightly miffed that I don't cuddle for long enough, so I'm sure he'd prefer me to stay gross and icky

[MistAllChuckingFrighty]

Oh dear

I wonder what he would think about my H who is more than happy to go muff diving the morning after a sesh, when there has been little more than a slapdash wipe the night before

Personally. I find that men who don't love women's bodies, and everything about them, to be of the woman-hating variety of twat

[Defnotsupergirl]

Maybe share this snippet with him- my bohemian biology teacher at school explained that the reason there is "that" smell after intercourse is in caveman times it warned off other males that this lady was taken and to promote the idea of looking after your lady if she was carrying "your" child. Don't know how true it is but would explain a little why it occurs if it is. How we got round to discussing it I really can't remember.......

[Hohohowhatfuckeryitis]

I'd be saying "well a bj will definitely out of the question then as it's mostly your mess" and you will be sleeping in a different County

[EggInABap]

My friend dated someone who would get baby wipes out of his little drawer if they were about to get jiggy, he would use his hands for a bit then use a baby wipe to clean his hands, then go down on her and when finished wipe his face with a new wipe. Then penetrate her.

[MistAllChuckingFrighty]

What a baby !

let's be honest here, baby-wiping the outside of the area just cleans the outside. Any lingering spunk is simply waiting up there for gravity to ensure it makes a reappearance, which sometimes can be hours afterwards

[NewtRipley]

I wonder what he means?

As an aside, i've manged to avoid repeated bouts of cystitis by weeing and washing before and after

[IfNotNowThenWhen]

I wouldnt use a baby wipe on my cho cha. Make me itch just thinking about it.
Lose the baby wipes. And the boyfriend.

[NewtRipley]

I have noticed the irony of you using the word for vagina in a pejorative way in your title

[IfNotNowThenWhen]

True, Misty. Who hasn't been walking to the bus stop the next morning, knickers in pocket, and felt the telltale trickle down the inner thigh?
A lady simply has a tissue handy.

[NoArmaniNoPunani]

What a douche. I never clean up after sex - it ruins the afterglow and can wait until morning.

[NewtRipley]

douche? Starnge that another insult is another word for something that goes up a vagina. Germaine Greer was right.

[NoArmaniNoPunani]

I was thinking more of an anal douche.

[NewtRipley]

[Alisvolatpropiis]

Yanbu.

I do go off fairly shortly afterwards because I read doing so prevents uti's, so a quick wee and tidy. But not immediately.

I had an ex who would shower after sex. Every single time. Given he was a walking Viagra (not a stealth boast) this became tiresome.

I suggested we use condoms as he clearly had issues about a mess that was, in reality, of his own making. He refused. I dumped him in the end, not just for that obviously but I always thought it was weird.

[Tikkamasala]

Sounds a bit weird OP. I would be a bit at the comment. we are not overly bothered about mess, we have a box of tissues next to the bed so we just wipe with tissues and stay in bed to cuddle. I didn't know the thing about having to wee after sex to prevent cystitis. Maybe tmi but I usually can't wee straight after sex! Never had any kind of infection.

[lifehasafunnywayofhelpinguout]

I will be honest I don't care much for the mess or smell after sex. I bathe afterwards. Even if we D.T.D in the middle of the night, I'll go straight to the bath room after about 5 mins and get as very quick bath. D.P is not as fussy he just cleans his equipment with a baby wipe. I always change the sheets afterwards as well. xxx

[Joysmum]

Hubby and I always like to shower (together) after sex too. I don't see what the big issue is.

[HearMyRoar]

life your post just made we laugh so much I nearly fell off the sofa. Seriously if anyone has the energy for all that after sex they're not doing it right :o

[lifehasafunnywayofhelpinguout]

Hi. Hearmyroar. Ha ha. I will be honest when I say very quick I mean very quick, less 1 minute. Just enough time to clean my erm equipment, and as for changing the bedding I have to I couldn't sleep in a bed full of cum. Even though it is tempting to sometimes just fall straight to sleep afterwards. xx