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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Aibu and a bit gross or was this a twatty comment from boyfriend? (maybe tmi)

102 replies

RainbowShadow · 08/12/2013 00:12

When I have sex with my boyfriend we don't use a condom (I am on the pill and we've both been tested etc)

Anyway after we're finished I usually like to cuddle for maximum 10 minutes (give or take) and then I'll use the bathroom, wipe with tissue and then use a babywipe. Then I'll have a shower in the morning - as I do anyway.

Last night again after we'd finished (we're talking minutes), bf asked me if I was going to clean myself, I replied yes of course I was and that I always do anyway.

He then replied - yeah you do .... but not always straight away, and I don't want you to get all horrible down there.

Hmm
OP posts:
AgentZigzag · 08/12/2013 01:01

He's projecting tinmug, and thinking women get the equivalent of crusty nob cheese

hoppingmad · 08/12/2013 01:02

I wondered how long it would be before a penis beaker would come up Wink

Op, he's being a twat. Dh & I both clean up after but we cuddle first. Sometimes we even sleep in a wet patch. It's sex, sometimes it's messy Shock. Sounds like he has issues

I would not be impressed if dh described me as horrible in any context

FrameyMcFrame · 08/12/2013 01:06

The worst bit of it is the words 'I don't want' followed by anything to do with YOUR body, or 'down there' as he crassly puts it. What does he think, he gets to make the decisions about what happens 'down there' ? Unbefuckinglievable.

It's your body how dare he tell you to get up and get washed???

Rude and a stunning sense of entitlement.

saulaboutme · 08/12/2013 01:20

is he a teenage beginner??? Juices are juices tmi lol

Normalisavariantofcrazy · 08/12/2013 01:28

Thing is you can clean up but (I do worry if this is just me!! Please reassure me it's not!!) no matter How much i wash, have a wee, shower etc the following day I still feel like I smell like I've had sex. That is FAAAAAAAAAR tmi I know but I can't be alone can I?!

feelingfuckingfestiveok · 08/12/2013 01:37

is this a contrill issue? does he have hygiene issues? or has he ever started to tell you what to do re clothes anything?

twat flags is fluttering

SleepOhHowIMissYou · 08/12/2013 01:58

I imagine he's not keen on sleeping in the wet patch OP. Even a few minutes is enough for it to seep out. The undignified waddle to the toilet with a wad of bog roll between your legs is omitted in romantic scenes in fiction I find, but it's that or a puddle of semen on your sheets in reality. I doubt he's suggesting your lady parts are disgusting seeing as he's just enjoyed them.

whitesugar · 08/12/2013 02:42

Do you think that it is acceptable for your DP to tell you to get out of bed and wash yourself after sex so that you are nice and clean and not horrible down there. I am quite honestly speechless. For the first time ever I am going to say it... LTB

DoubleLifeIsALifeOfSorts · 08/12/2013 02:59

I misread FeelingFuckingFestives post as

"is this a council issue? Does he have hygiene issues?"

I'm sorry it's not helpful but ohhh, quick call the council!!!

Ifancyashandy · 08/12/2013 03:14

Sex IS messy. Any man who couldn't cope with a wet patch / the fact that what goes up must go down would have no place in my bed. Especially if he commented on it negatively towards me.

Monty27 · 08/12/2013 03:17

Tell him he should dump his dick in a penisbeaker full of bleach preferably. Hmm

sykadelic15 · 08/12/2013 04:18

Just wow. I'd be offended firstly because he said it, and secondly because it sounds like something he's been thinking about.

Like YOU would want to end up "all horrible" down there either, and you're the one who'd have to live with it.

Who has he been talking to, or what has he been looking at that he's concerned about that?

Ugh. he sounds like the kinda guy who would tell you not to eat that cupcake 'cause he doesn't want you getting chunky etc.

I'd suggest switching to condoms, in the interest of you not going "all horrible" down there.

pianodoodle · 08/12/2013 04:21

I'd switch to a different boyfriend never mind switching to condoms Hmm

themaltesefalcon · 08/12/2013 04:39

He's foul, OP.

GiveItYourBestFucker · 08/12/2013 05:34

Twatty comment. Sex is messy, it's one of the reasons why it's fun. Has he been watching too much porn? He'll be telling you to go for a fanny facelift next...

ihatethecold · 08/12/2013 07:08

Twatty comments from him.
I'm annoyed just reading this.
He doesn't own you.
He has no right to make those comments.
Get rid, he sounds controlling.

bragmatic · 08/12/2013 07:10

prepare a penis beaker for him and fill it with bleach.

bragmatic · 08/12/2013 07:11

…for use after obvs.

Fairylea · 08/12/2013 07:11

What an arse!

Can't think of much else to say except how bloody rude!!

ots · 08/12/2013 07:22

sleep that undignified waddle to the bathroom is affectionately known as 'The Walk' by DH and I Grin

natwebb79 · 08/12/2013 07:26

Oh jeeze, this reminds me of a bloke I went out with who expected me to cup my hand over my nether regions and run to the bathroom to cleanse myself a nano second after he'd shot his load. He had ishooooz Grin

LovesBeingHereAgain · 08/12/2013 07:36

All of the above.

youmakemydreams · 08/12/2013 07:37

normal it's not just you I feel that way too. Even after shower and clean up I still feel I can smell it.

maparole · 08/12/2013 07:57

I would actually find that quite disturbing ... it suggests he is uncomfortable with the female body and finds it all a bit distasteful.

Then again, I find the idea of cleaning yourself up almost immediately after the act a little OCD, so p'raps I'm just a dirty mare Grin.

poshfrock · 08/12/2013 08:19

Tell him your preferred method of cleaning up is felching and ask him to get cracking.