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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think people who say "cheer up" need a good slap?

65 replies

PurpleValentine · 07/12/2013 23:52

Last night I went out for a work event, in a city that I don't know at all. To cut a long story short I got a call with some bad news and left early. I got myself a bit lost and when a man walked by me and shouted -

"Cheer up love"

I wish I'd told him to fuck off there and then. But seriously I'm joking about the violence part but aibu to think this is just so rude and ignorant. Why say something to a stranger when you actually don't have a clue what the hell is going on in their life?

OP posts:
ShylaMcClaus · 07/12/2013 23:55

It's because some people think that you exist for their viewing pleasure and don't expect you to have feelings.

I had this ALL the time as a young woman.

They wouldn't say it to a surly-looking seven-foot bloke, would they?

LEMisafucker · 07/12/2013 23:58

You were being unreasonable not to tell him to fuck the fuck off actually and you would have been perfectly within your rights to kick him in the gonads, wanker!

SaucyJack · 07/12/2013 23:59

99.9999999999999 % it's older men saying it to younger women. Just reminding you of your place i.e. to act charming and eager-to-please at all times.

Goldmandra · 08/12/2013 00:00

It used to happen to me all the time in my teens and twenties.

Just tell yourself that you're so gorgeous that they want to chat you up but aren't quick witted enough to think of anything more sensible to say Smile

AtAmber · 08/12/2013 00:01

A bus driver said 'cheer up love, it might never happen'. I was going to town to buy something to wear for my mother'a funeral. It was 20 years ago, but it still pisses me off.

Original poster
PurpleValentine · 08/12/2013 00:02

You were being unreasonable not to tell him to fuck the fuck off actually

Definitely, could kick myself for not doing it.

Think because I was a bit lost/confused it took a moment for it to sink in and he'd already walked on.

OP posts:
MadAsFish · 08/12/2013 00:02

It should be legal to stab them.
Even worse when they add 'it might not happen'. What if it already has, you twat?

ErrolTheDragon · 08/12/2013 00:08

I don't know if 'cheer up love, it might never happen' is worse if something has happened or if it hasn't - people used to say this to me when I was going about my own business perfectly happy, just thinking my own thoughts - used to really piss me off.

LittleprincessinGOLDrocks · 08/12/2013 00:10

YANBU.
I had someone say that to me less than a week after my mum died. Worst bit being the woman knew my mum had died and still said "cheer up it might never happen!"
I replied "Erm, it already has!"
So no YANBU.

RainbowShadow · 08/12/2013 00:14

people used to say this to me when I was going about my own business perfectly happy, just thinking my own thoughts - used to really piss me off

Nice to know its not just me. I use to constantly worry that I must look so grumpy/angry/upset all the time - now I don't care and just think what a twatty thing to say.

AgentZigzag · 08/12/2013 00:16

I look right arsey when I'm walking down the street (apparently Grin it's just what my face looks like with no expression, I'd look a right oddity walking along grinning like a twat wouldn't I?!) and I was forever having 'cheer ups' thrown at me.

Although I'd rather that than the 'Lets have a go on your tits XXXX' I had shouted at me across a busy street when I was out shopping.

It was someone I vaguely knew as well Hmm

BuzzardBird · 08/12/2013 00:17

Yep, someone said this to me when I was shopping for a black dress for my dad's funeral. I told him why I looked so glum...shut the stupid shit right up.

TamzinGrey · 08/12/2013 00:34

Oh God - I'm horrified that this is still going on.

I used to get " Cheer up darling, it might never happen" all the time in my teens and early twenties. It was always from middle aged men. Mostly bus drivers. It always made me cringe.

I honestly thought that this stupid phrase would have died out by now. The sad old buggers must have taught it to their sons.

WheresMrMonkey · 08/12/2013 00:48

YANBU
can I also add "you look tired" to the list. Which is basically just saying you look rubbish, what are you meant to respond? Thanks?

kotinka · 08/12/2013 00:54

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

OnDasherrorOnDancerror · 08/12/2013 01:06

"Cheer up love, it might never happen" is one of my all time most hated phrases. Firstly what is 'it'?, secondly, what if 'it' has happened, (think a PP noted this) and thirdly, what if I don't want to 'cheer up'? I might not enjoy looking like a miserable fucker at that particular moment in time, but pipe down and let me experience these feelings. Even if I haven't just heard anything sad, I often have what I call my 'screensaver face', just my regular face at its resting point, it doesn't look hostile, but not overly cheery either. I'm not going to smile whimsically into the distance just to please anyone!

tiredoldmum · 08/12/2013 01:33

Used to get this all the time in prime shaggable age from older men. It is male privilege. Lots of article out there about it. That and getting physically in my space if I was having a conversation with another woman.

They should keep their pie holes shut.

dementedmumof6 · 08/12/2013 02:10

YANBU I had this the day after I got out of hospital after needing a d&c as I had had a mc at 15+ weeks but a bit of the placenta had got stuck, I'm ashamed to say I burst into tears in the middle of the street and could quite happily have stabbed them in the eye.

EBearhug · 08/12/2013 02:16

I had a taxi driver say it to me. I'd just told him I wanted to go to the hospital. You'd think that might make someone cautious about possible reasons. "Cheer up, it might never happen." But it had just happened. I was going to meet my mother and sister at the hospital, because my father had died about 20 minutes earlier, and there was nothing which could have felt worse at that point.

ZingSweetPea · 08/12/2013 02:32

oh, cheer up love!Wink

I bloody hate that.
and "all the same in a hundred years"

fuck off! and stayed fucked off for a hundered years then! Angry

MrsTerrysChocolateOrange · 08/12/2013 02:40

I was a very serious Goth for years. I found the best response to "it might never happen" was, "it already has" with a death stare. Wankers.

AgentZigzag · 08/12/2013 02:52

'They should keep their pie holes shut.'

Love pie holes.

Nobody's told me to shut me cake 'ole in years.

It's not right.

AgentZigzag · 08/12/2013 02:53

I was a goth too MrsT Grin

MrsTerrysChocolateOrange · 08/12/2013 02:58

I can well believe that Agent well believe that. Grin sorry Angry would be the right face.

AgentZigzag · 08/12/2013 03:17

There's a goth couple who live up the road from us, and they're fucking gorgeous Envy

To have my time again, they've got it made with all the pandering to them on ebay/amazon Grin

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