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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think people who say "cheer up" need a good slap?

65 replies

PurpleValentine · 07/12/2013 23:52

Last night I went out for a work event, in a city that I don't know at all. To cut a long story short I got a call with some bad news and left early. I got myself a bit lost and when a man walked by me and shouted -

"Cheer up love"

I wish I'd told him to fuck off there and then. But seriously I'm joking about the violence part but aibu to think this is just so rude and ignorant. Why say something to a stranger when you actually don't have a clue what the hell is going on in their life?

OP posts:
AmIthatTinselly · 08/12/2013 03:19

I too have a face, which in repose looks scowling.

I have said to people before "would you rather I wandered around with a big grin on my face"

I think those that say it are clueless fuckwits and should be pitied. Certainly not something to worry about.

I still get this and have tried a couple of different approaches

Firstly, I have tried the "how do you know it hasn't already happened". which has resulted in a shameful mumble and sloping off of fucker

I have also tried the "Sorry, what did you say, I didn't catch that" which has had either resulted in a mumble and slope off, and a chorus of laughter from bystanders. Win-win for me, whatever

Monty27 · 08/12/2013 03:30

'Cheer up, it might never happen' is even worse. grrrr Angry

AgentZigzag · 08/12/2013 03:40

But you should be grateful that you've been noticed Monty.

That your state of mind is of such concern to someone else.

That must be what they're thinking though, that they're somehow doing you a favour by sharing their annoying as fuck sparkle, that you'll suddenly have a revelation and a warm feeling that the world's not as bad as all that.

Aww, actually, if they were trying to lighten someone's load by trying to make them feel less alone, that'd be quite nice thing to do wouldn't it?

Friginilla · 08/12/2013 03:41

Just had it now!
why does someone walking past lone lady waiting for a taxi feel the need to do or say anything?
He Just pointed at me and said smile... Twat!
does baring your teeth at someone count as a smile?Grin

AgentZigzag · 08/12/2013 03:43

Depends on whether you growled or not Frig Grin

Friginilla · 08/12/2013 04:10

I was tempted!
My half drunken brain was too busy thinking "I must find that thread about this and have a go because I forgot how fucking annoying it is'

CynicalandSmug · 08/12/2013 04:21

This is one of my all time rage inducing comments, still get it now. I must look such a miserable cow. Sorry middle aged men, I refuse to walk around with a permanent smile just to make you happy. I respond with either a raised eyebrow and a look of contempt, or the day my beloved aunt died a 'fuck off'.

sonlypuppyfat · 08/12/2013 04:24

Bastards who thinks its ok to say this I used to work in a shop and had this said to me all the time are you supposed to stand with a great big grin on your face just to please them. And yes the you look tired one, I stopped seeing a friend once she used to love to say that.

Chottie · 08/12/2013 05:04

I would reply, to 'cheer up it may never happen' with 'it just has, you spoke to me'

I did not realise it is still doing the rounds either. What is it with all these middle aged men?

hestergraysgarden · 08/12/2013 06:18

YANBU. This last happened to me when I was on my way home from work after learning that my Gran had just died. I just don't understand why the Public Gurning Commitee don't cover these possibilities in their training.

Squiffyagain · 08/12/2013 06:37

God, yes, used to gt that one all the time.
My stock response was always "fuck off, arsehole"

BlousyMumsyTwat · 08/12/2013 06:49

YABU.

Not all of us choose to wallow in misery.

IndiansInTheLobby · 08/12/2013 07:10

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

bragmatic · 08/12/2013 07:31

Most of the time, we're just going about our day, and would like to be left alone to do so, Blousy.

MadAsFish · 08/12/2013 08:40

Not all of us choose to wallow in misery.

Hmm
LadyBeagleEyes · 08/12/2013 08:49

It happened to me a lot in my teens and twenties. I just have a naturally miserable face in repose.
I could never think of a smart answer.
It never happens now as I'm in my 50's and invisible.

Sallystyle · 08/12/2013 09:05

I get this all the time.

I always look moody even when I am not.

Mishmashofstyles · 08/12/2013 09:32

Mid thirties now, I don't get this any more. Yay!

MurderOfGoths · 08/12/2013 09:34

YANBU at all, it's bloody annoying and completely unnecessary.

NotQuiteWithItAtAll · 08/12/2013 10:04

I got, 'smile love, you look so miserable'

I was counting out his 10 sugars he requested. Why would i smile whilst counting out 10 sugars grr.

He got quite a look. Arsehole.

When I'm working, i get it at least 4 times a shift. You need to smile when your mopping a floor don't ya know!

FunkyBoldRibena · 08/12/2013 10:07

I was cheery until I saw you coming this way.

Mia4 · 08/12/2013 10:16

YADNU OP. And why is it mainly women that seem to get it? I just asked DP and his DCs who have stayed over, they never get that at all.

southeastastra · 08/12/2013 10:20

hate this too, also get it from my sister (of all people) miserable is my neutral face, can't help it. it's annoying

OhWellWhatToDo · 08/12/2013 11:04

My DSil got told this. She was walking out of the hospital where her husband had died. (I mean, especially in a hospital, where 'it' is more likely to have just happened, who says it?)

To be honest, I'm surprised she didn't kill him violently, she was just too exhausted. I'm still fucking angry on her behalf Angry

EmmaFreudsGivingMeJip · 08/12/2013 13:13

I get this all the time, I have a bitchy resting face. It's always men who say 'cheer up love, give us a smile' oh do fuck off. My friend told me that people ask how she is friends with me as I look unaproachable and a bit scary Grin haha. I can't help it, it's just my face and I haven't the motivation to walk around inanely grinning.
I am quite a happy person as a rule, believe it or not.