To really not know what to do next RE housing situation?

[extremepie]

Bit of background, me & DH split up recently meaning I have had to give up my job due to childcare difficulties.

We actually got given notice to quit on our current rented house in June because our 6 month contract had expired and they didn't want to renew as they are elderly and want to sell the house.

There was a property we were due to move in to that is owned by a former friend but it needed quite major renovations so landlords agreed to let us stay until it was ready. Unfortunately at the last minute friend changed her mind (after me & DH split) & said we could no longer have the house.

I have been looking for a private rented place since September with no luck, the issues are as follows:

I don't drive & wanted to stay close to DS' school - I have relaxed this a bit to include anywhere in a certain area that is close to any school as so few have come up in the area I wanted!

I am receiving HB (LHA) but do not have a guarentor so 80% of agencies & private rentals will not touch me with a barge pole.

I am on the council lisg for a property. I have 2 boys so the council say I only need 2 beds but DS2 has ASD and quite severe sleep issues which impact heavily on DS1 if they share a room so we have had a social worker & paediatrician write letters recommending DS2 have his own room to minimise the disturbance but the council have only given us the option to bid on 2 bed houses.

We are on band e so have virtually no hope of getting a couple place any time soon anyway!

I have found a property that looks perfect & may actually possibly take us on with our circumstances but I have been told because there is a £150 a month difference between the HB we get & the rent on the house the council will not help us move into it (with the rent deposit scheme) because it is too expensive & we need to look for somewhere cheaper.

It's driving me mad & I don't know what to do next! It's a bloody miracle I managed to find the one I did & now they are saying they won't help so what's my next option? Sit & wait to get evicted & then stuck in a hostel or temporary accommodation until we can get housed?

No clue where to go next :(

No it's not just for childcare. It's for ANY additional expenses that arise from the child's disability.

which is respite care?! i pay £100 pm for this so i can work!

That's great. Not enough left after meeting other costs in our case, though.

You don't have all the answers.

WTAF?

Higher rate DLA is absolutely not given in order to assist with child care. It is awarded for a child who has continual supervision and attendance needs day and night.

There are no over-night childminders specialising in caring children with additional needs (and please do stop saying, "SN kids / Down Syndrome children - I am surprised you don't find this offensive yourself)

This information is r.e DLA is readily available on the internet from several reliable sources, despite what you were told. And the OP has been given a link to a document on Mumsnet which supports the fact that she is legally entitled to what she needs for her family.

I know, Shyla. Very peculiar attitudes and turns of phrase for someone allegedly part of the SN world.

Judgejudy.

Now would be the time to shut the fuck up.

That is all.

bluecheese where do you live? Serious question as sleep deprivation for years on end as a sole carer may not be something I can physically continue to do forever.

If the OP is struggling to make ends meet, I rather doubt she'll have the money to just move to another area. And who says she isn't living near family and friends. I live near family and friends, however, still do not have reliable childcare. Why? Because they cannot provide childcare for me. Some relatives are too old, one is too flaky, another works all hours of day and night. My friends all either have jobs or other commitments that take up lots of their time and all have children of their own. So living near family and friends doesn't necessarily change the problem one bit. Not all family and friends are capable or free of commitments to provide free child care - even for a couple hours.

DLA is not to assist with child care. It is to assist with care needs that arise directly and indirectly from the child's disability. And respite? Pardon me while I laugh hysterically. Not available, thanks, we've already been told that ages ago. And if we had to pay for it, couldn't afford it anyway. Sleep deprivation is simply a way of life for me. I've been doing it for 7 years, I guess I'll be doing it many more years to come.

Judy you need to remember (and I'll say it once more, and I'm beginning to feel like I should make this a copy/paste thing)... not all situations are the same. What works for you may not work for someone else. You can't just back in judgement and say "oh well, she should do this - it worked for me." Well, you CAN say that, but you'd be wrong.

Ds is almost 19 he hasn't slept through the night since the day he was born. His usual bedtime is around 4am (he gets up for school at 7.30am) a couple of nights a week he doesn't bother to sleep at all.
No one has ever provided any respite care, it has been expected that I will cope on next to no sleep indefinitely and so far I am but I am trying not to think about the health implications of 19 years of sleeping less than 20hrs per week.
Ds has his own room now but up until he was 5 life was a living hell as he was always on a mission to wake everyone in the street in the house.

OP - I am assuming you have an income of about £320 a week.

With the extra costs involved because of your son's needs would you really be able to afford the £150 per month you will need to pay for the house you have found?

That would be £35 per week out of your £320. I know it doesn't sound much but think carefully before you take on a tenancy for that amount. Sometimes things come up that you can't afford and you may wish that you found a place where all the rent was paid for you and you didn't have to come up with the extra £150 at the end of the month.

Just be cautious.

Thing is if I could move to the place I found I could save at least £100 a month in electric costs straight away, not to mention the £200 odd a month in taxis so I could make it work it's just getting in there that's the problem :/

I see what you mean but the house we're in is costing us a bomb as it is and we would be so much better off if we moved :(

Judge Judy - the op hasn't been offered anything. That is the point! Her place she had fell through, she's on list but will only get a 2 bed when she does get To the top, she's found somewhere privately but because rent is higher than LHA she can't get help via rent deposit scheme. She's asking what else she can do.
As she has a disabled child we are suggesting she gets the professional as involved to help get in her case to secure suitable housing for her family.