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AIBU?

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Original poster

To be fed up at being poor

132 replies

Witco · 05/12/2013 22:43

DH and I have worked hard since leaving school, taken parenting seriously and find ourselves poor in our late 40s and in negative equity. WTF?

OP posts:
kotinka · 05/12/2013 22:44

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

RibenaFiend · 05/12/2013 22:46

It's not fucking fair is it.

RedLondonBus · 05/12/2013 22:46

Why are you? You own a home, doesn't make you poor. 2 wages coming in?

Read some threads in active to put it into perspective

Ifcatshadthumbs · 05/12/2013 22:48

Bit harsh redlondon, how can you say they own a home when they are in negative equity Confused

SantaIKnowHimIKnowHim · 05/12/2013 22:49

Read some threads in active to put it into perspective

RedLondonBus, that's a bit harsh. Just because you own your own home, you're not allowed to have money worries and be completely skint?! Hmm
It's not a bloody competition to see who's the most hard done by, you know!

RedLondonBus · 05/12/2013 22:49

Well define 'poor'

MacaYoniandCheese · 05/12/2013 22:51

That sucks Sad I'm sorry. Do you want to tell us more about it?

OhWellWhatToDo · 05/12/2013 22:52

If you own a house in the UK (where there are healthy and safety considerations and so on, so not a shack or a slum) then I'd consider you to be more well off than most pople.

Whether you do or don't doesnt affect how you feel and feeling bad and feeling poor is hard.

YoureBeingASillyBilly · 05/12/2013 22:53

'Taken parenting seriously' wtf Confused

EweHaveGoatToBeSkiddinInSnow · 05/12/2013 22:56

Do you mean not having any spare money after paying for essentials?

If so, the mere fact you can afford essentials means you are not poor.

If, however, you're struggling to pay necessary bills, i can see why you'd be annoyed. Unfortunately, too many jobs just don't pay enough.

JanetSnakehole · 05/12/2013 22:56

I'm curious to know what "taking parenting seriously" means.

ThePearShapedToad · 05/12/2013 22:57

Good grief everyone, it's all relative, someone living on the breadline here should therefore consider themselves well off because they're not living in a slum in Dakar?

OP keep paddling, it will get better, but for tonight, have a sniffle, some tea, a self pity wallow with your DH and then tomorrow keep going Thanks

Upcycled · 05/12/2013 22:57

I am sure you are not that poor OP.

LovesBeingHereAgain · 05/12/2013 22:58

Total shit

WooWooOwl · 05/12/2013 22:59

I hear you. It is shit.

HandMini · 05/12/2013 23:00

When you say "taken parenting seriously" how does this relate to your financial situation?

PrincessWellington · 05/12/2013 23:00

Private school I bet

absentmindeddooooodles · 05/12/2013 23:01

Yep shit. Foe the record dp has a mortgage on this house. We are only paying the interest. We cannot pay the bills and sont have enough for food.....I call that pretty poor right now.

XmasLogAndHollyOn · 05/12/2013 23:04

Sheesh. Someone go and watch the 3 Yorkshire men or something.

Yes, its shit for ANYONE who works hard to find themselves still struggling financially. I'm in negative equity and its an absolute fucker as I can't even move to something cheaper as I'd have to pay the fucking bank more than the house is worth, so I'm trapped.

No, that's not the same level of poverty as someone who doesn't have a roof over their head, but no one is saying it is. The fact is that its shit to struggle for money no matter who you are, so don't talk like an arsebiscuit.

RedLondonBus · 05/12/2013 23:05

Well a I remember a few posts from you op .... Poor? Really? Or just skint?

Maybe cutback on some lifestyle choices? Sell a few things?

Bluecarrot · 05/12/2013 23:06

It's all relative though, isn't it?

In OPs situation she feels stuck and frustrated. She may have more than some people, but she has less than others do... Just like everyone who posts on mn.

OP, thinking over the decisions you made, do you wish you had acted differently? ( do you wish you had been a sahm, or if you were one, so you wish you had kept on with your career? Did buying a house seem a good idea at the time, but turn out not so good, or where there warning signs from the start?)

The choices myself and my partner are making now are restricting the family income - I'm pregnant and we plan a few more so I will be sahm for a few years. In 10 years time I might regret not having stayed in work for the extra cash. We might have been able to buy a house/ go on holidays etc but we are making the best choices based on the information we have now. Ill just have to accept that in the future even if I regret them.

caramelwaffle · 05/12/2013 23:08

Being poor is shit. Like dog shit.

Being working poor is shit. Like fox shit.

Different flavour...still crap.

80sMum · 05/12/2013 23:08

I feel for you OP. It can all feel pretty relentless at times. Negative equity must be a worry. But hang in there; house prices are creeping back up again and that situation could soon resolve.
I hope this doesn't come across as flippant or patronising but it's really a good idea to sit down from time to time and focus on all the positive things in your life - your partner, children, family, friends etc. It helps ifyou can see the 'half full' rather than the 'half empty' glass.
I hope things start to improve for you soon.

Original poster
Witco · 05/12/2013 23:08

What lovely people some of you are! Forget it, I was just looking for some support. No, not private education just struggling to put food on the table, despite both parents working 40+ hours a week and trying to pass on good morals and values to our children.

OP posts:
WooWooOwl · 05/12/2013 23:09

Caramel - good point, well made.

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