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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To be fed up at being poor

132 replies

Witco · 05/12/2013 22:43

DH and I have worked hard since leaving school, taken parenting seriously and find ourselves poor in our late 40s and in negative equity. WTF?

OP posts:
ananikifo · 05/12/2013 23:09

YANBU in my opinion but I really don't think posting on this board will make you feel any better. Sorry you're having a hard time.

HandMini · 05/12/2013 23:11

Sorry Witco, I feel bad asking a "picky" question about what you meant. It wasn't meant to be mean, just didn't understand your point. I really hope your situation improves - that's totally rubbish that two full time workers find themselves struggling to put food on the table.

XmasLogAndHollyOn · 05/12/2013 23:12

Oh RedLondonBus - Here's something to cheer you up !

RedLondonBus · 05/12/2013 23:13

I'm not in need of cheering up tho? Grin

YoureBeingASillyBilly · 05/12/2013 23:14

Rule 1 of AIBU : dont post on AIBU for support.

rule 2 of AIBU: dont post about money on AIBU

Rule 3: NEVER post looking support for your money woes on AIBU

ThePearShapedToad · 05/12/2013 23:14

Wishing again there was a "like" button on MN xmas Xmas Grin

Hang on in there op, house prices are rising again, you're working hard, you just need a bit of tlc at the moment

DirtyDancingCleanLiving · 05/12/2013 23:17

You're paying for study and are wondering if you can 'stretch' to a weekend away?

To someone who is truly 'poor' those things wouldn't even be on the page.

RULE 4: Remember what you have posted previously about finances before claiming poverty.

Upcycled · 05/12/2013 23:22

RULE 5: if posters decide YABU don't say YANBU.

XmasLogAndHollyOn · 05/12/2013 23:23

Quite right DirtyDancing, as people below a certain wage would get their tuition fees paid or subsidised and also be eligible to apply for bursaries.

Conversely, if you're over the limit, it can be more costly.

In the words of Confucius, "The one who Advanced Searches to score points, does not the moral high ground take."

Or it could have been someone else who said that. Possibly me.

ThePearShapedToad · 05/12/2013 23:25

You don't have to be destitute to feel miserable with your finances. If the op's current situation is getting her down, why is that any less important than a billionaire feeling sad, or a low earner feeling scrimped. It's all relative to every person's situation.

I think all the op needed tonight was a bit of "there there's", not a character assassination

XmasLogAndHollyOn · 05/12/2013 23:26

As a wise woman once said, "Its not hard not to be a dick."

Actually, I think that was me too.

XmasLogAndHollyOn · 05/12/2013 23:26

Sorry ThePear, that wasn't about your post.

YoureBeingASillyBilly · 05/12/2013 23:27

To be fair- AIBU is well known as not the place to go to for tea and sympathy.

Op are you a new poster?

ThePearShapedToad · 05/12/2013 23:28

None taken xmas Xmas Smile

Christmas goodwill to all 'n' that......

BoffinMum · 05/12/2013 23:28

I am sympathetic.
But ultimately you may well have to up your working hours or get a better paid job just to solve this problem. Just for a bit. It doesn't mean you'll be a worse parent.

Rufustherednosedreindeer · 05/12/2013 23:28

My sympathies

It is very hard to feel you are working hard and not getting on in life whether you are "proper poor" or not

Upcycled · 05/12/2013 23:30

Anyway
Maybe now she will think about true poverty and feel a bit more happy about her situation. How is it not helpful. Counting my blessings always cheers me up.

YoureBeingASillyBilly · 05/12/2013 23:31

Me too upcycled.

SantaIKnowHimIKnowHim · 05/12/2013 23:31

You're paying for study and are wondering if you can 'stretch' to a weekend away?
To someone who is truly 'poor' those things wouldn't even be on the page.

If you were truly poor as you put it, then those things are paid for free of charge to you.
If you own your own house though and have a total household income coming in under approx 21,000 then you can get stuffed as you're getting bog all. Hardly fair, no?!
Paying for studying doesn't necessarily mean you are rich. Far from it in some cases.

LineRunner · 05/12/2013 23:38

Well, it's not exactly the 'wealth cascading down the generations' that John Major promised those in that age bracket.

Mumoftwoyoungkids · 05/12/2013 23:38

Op - do you need to move in the near future? If not, try not to think about the value of your house. You have a house, you have a loan. You are (assuming not interest only) slowly paying off the loan so eventually, no matter what happens with house prices, you will own your home outright. Focus on that.

thenamestheyareachanging · 05/12/2013 23:40

Santa, in what universe is studying free of charge, let alone weekends away? I'd love to know.

OK, the OP isn't on the breadline. We're not on the breadline either. But we do struggle to pay essential bills, and often just rent, bills and food exceed our income. It's a grind. YANBU.

DirtyDancingCleanLiving · 06/12/2013 00:07

My objection is to the word 'poor'.

Someone who owns their own house, pays for additional study for themselves and considers weekends away is not 'poor'.

They may well be struggling to maintain a standard of life that they find acceptable. But they are not 'poor'.

Upcycled · 06/12/2013 00:09

Exactly.
Poor choice of words here.
She could say struggling instead.

Upcycled · 06/12/2013 00:09

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