To be fed up at being poor

[Witco]

DH and I have worked hard since leaving school, taken parenting seriously and find ourselves poor in our late 40s and in negative equity. WTF?

Santa, in what universe is studying free of charge,

You can quite easily go back to college and study for all manner of things. Diploma in childcare? Yup. Computer skill courses? Double yup. Along with hundreds of other courses.
Absolutely free of charge to some. Don't know the OP's circumstances, but full well know that it costs an absolute feckin' fortune if you want to do that if you're just scraping by and not on them.

OP sounds like a drama llama

Doesnt she though?!

She works hard, is struggling to pay the bills and is pissed off that despite that work and struggle, she still cant make ends meet. What a princess!

I live in a house with 11 years to pay on the mortgage. Can I afford it? No. Could I afford it when we bought it? Yes. Circumstances change, lives change. If this house got repossessed then we would be looking at paying 3 times what we pay now per month on rent for somewhere that is the same in sq footage and far worse in terms of area, schools etc. We struggled in no small way when we were on JSA after the redundancy and are not doing much better now (0 hours contract on NMW), but the mortgage was the priority and still is. A mortgage on your own home can often be far cheaper than claiming HB to pay Buy to Let level rents.

But like you say, what a drama queen!

No yanbu but next time post in chat op. don't know what's wrong with people tonight.

What's poor OP? No heating, no warm clothing or bedding, scrapping around for food?

Or not more luxuries.

Define poverty and your suffering.

Billy :)

YANBU.

Negative equity is a bummer.

There are some posts on this thread. Nit picking about whether or not the OP is technically poor is a bit harsh, especially when no one apart from the OP knows bugger all about her financial situation.

I would like to be able to afford Lancome mascara and Wolford tights and to bleat about being poor on AIBU.

I also did everything correctly, but my child was born with a life-threatening medical condition and I lost my house and career.

YY, Shyla :(

I've got to say that, had I known things weren't going to get better, I'd have sold my bloody lovely London flat and bought a shitty house in the sticks like the one I now pay far too much rent on. I could have bought it for cash, fuckit.

Of course nobody knows their bad luck is going to stick around, but a lot of people could similarly make wiser decisions if they were less attached to the home-owning, equity-obsessed and 'lifestyle' mindset that kept me hanging in there too long.

Bogey im not sure what your point is wrt a mortgage being cheaper than renting?

And i would just like to add that having a house in negative equity doesnt suddenly mean you are poor. It isnt costing you more than it was before the value went down.

Negative equity is only a problem if you need to sell right now. Otherwise, wait it out and the market will eventually pick up.

Hmm OP doesn't own their home, the bank or building society does and OP owes more than the house is worth. OK, so not a great choice of words in OP's opening post, but I'm sure some of it resonates with other people.

So many of my friends lost their homes in the early 90's when that housing bubble burst, negative equity hit and they owed thousands when they hadn't been greedy, many of them were in studios or 1 bed flats . It took a lot of them about 10 years to recover financially.

OP, hang on in there, I'm sure you're budgeting wisely etc.

I've been homeless when I was a child and it was terrifying. We had to sleep in Dad's van until a relative took the five of us to her 2 bed house, which already had 2 adults and 4 kids in it! It has never mattered how comfortable I have been financially since, the fear of homelessness is still something I have nightmares about.

OP, why don't you repost on the chat, credit crunch or property boards?
You'll probably find it a bit less chippy there and you might get some support and practical advice. In the meantime, keep your chin up .

I am really shocked at how unkind and unsupportive these posts are. Of course, we are all stinking rich compared to someone, but being in negative equity is horrid, esp in your 40s when you (presumably) thought you would be in a different position. It's the gap between what you thought would happen if you worked as hard as have, and what has happened that really sucks.

So somebody can post on here about being upset that their precious child has not got exactly the part they want in a school play and they get lots of "oh, poor you, poor DC, get in there and complain, so out of order, you must be so upset" and yet somebody who comlplains about not being able to afford food gets flamed? Seriously?

There are some incredibly small minded people on this website.

There will always be people worse off, even if you think you can legitimately describe yourself as poor.

Do those of you that eat less than you need and have less heating than you would like sit there with a warm fuzzy glow of an evening thinking about how lucky you are because at least you aren't on the streets, or living in a country that gives no benefits, no healthcare and no education?

No, thought not.

Lots of people work hard and are good parents and are struggling. But being poor is something that OP has no idea about. I wonder if she ever had to share a stinky mouldy council flat with no heating or hot water from pregnancy through babys firt 7 months. With all of the baby stuff second hand includind new born clothes. I wonder if she ever had to count pennies from the money jar to buy milk and still ask the corner shop keeper to sell iit cheaper and pay the remainder pennies another day. Well I have done all that and didn't consider myself that poor. Maybe I am just less misarable.

Then you are very lucky to have an optimistic nature

Some people don't, and as pathetic as it may seem to some people you are allowed to feel down and sad for whatever reason they want

You are not however allowed to come onto this board and say it !

Let that be a lesson to us all!!! Oooh went all tiny Tim then!!

OhWellWhatToDo If you own a house in the UK (where there are healthy and safety considerations and so on, so not a shack or a slum) then I'd consider you to be more well off than most people

I don't know - cycling round rural Eastern Europe, where most people seem to own a rather nice bungalow with a bit of land to the side, even though wages etc are far lower than the UK, we were all saying in the UK we had a lower standard of living!

YANBU OP. If only more people questioned it, like you.

RPeg if the OP cannot afford to buy food because she has developed a taste for Wolford tights, Lancome mascara and Liz Earle skincare, then that is a situation entirely of her own making.

Who in their right mind buys those things when their mortgage is more than their house is worth?

Well I am not luck I have an optmistic nature. I learned it.

I feel v sorry for op.
The suicide rate has gone up in ireland has gone up since recession and negative equity so obviously being in NE is depressing and "trapping". U cant write it iff with a trite "pull your socks up". It is a recognised cause of distresa and anxiety.

People resist change but have a serious look at what u can change. Get rid of a car. Cycle. Bus. Walk. If u smoke give it up. Can u take a foreign student?

Negative equity is only a problem if you need to sell. Swings and roundabouts, though. :)

I understood it to be poor MN ettiquette to quote an OPs previous posts back at them, or is that not the case when the vipers want to attack?

This thread has sickened me.