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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Is it me or the landlord?

106 replies

buddyfingy · 05/12/2013 20:29

This is my first thread on aibu, please don't flame me too much!
My DP and I currently rent a one bed flat above a shop. The landlord has his office in the shop so is there a lot, we see him often and do have a generally good relationship (despite him asking us to have the heating at 5 degrees constantly in the winter
This week has been a rather difficult one for a DF of mine. Her boiler has broken with a massive delay on the new parts being installed, her DS was rushed off to hospital in an ambulance with difficulty breathing and has been very poorly, her long lived washing machine has died and her husband was assaulted and needed surgery on a badly broken arm. She has had a dreadful time in short. I offered to help in anyway I could so took home washing to do for her and also let her pop by a few mornings to use the bath for her and her son.
My DP received a text this afternoon from the landlord saying that he doesn't want her doing washing and using the bath and that it is costing him money with her doing that. Fair enough, the rent that we pay is 'all in' but after speaking with him today I cannot understand how he doesn't see it as helping out a friend in need, it is not a regular occurrence and DP has offered to pay him £10 or however much 3 baths and 2 washes. I finished the conversation by saying that I hope if he ever finds himself in a difficult situation that his friends would always support him and not turn him away, which is what he is essentially asking. How could anyone deny a friend with a two year old child basic help like clean clothes and a hot bath?
AIBU and sorry if this is a bit long! Don't want to drop feed.

OP posts:

LaurieFairyCake · 05/12/2013 20:32

It's your flat, you get to decide.

And you don't mean you can only have your heating on at 5 degrees? Because that's ridiculous - you need your heating on whatever is comfortable, for us it's 18/20

Original poster

buddyfingy · 05/12/2013 20:36

Our heating is on at a very comfortable 17 in the winter. We are lucky to have a small flat that heat up quickly! But he has decided that it costs him a lot - originally he said 15, then 10 and now 5. It would be freezing if we hadn't put a collective foot down!
Thank you for that though, DP and I are speaking to him tomorrow again.

OP posts:

Shenanagins · 05/12/2013 20:38

Unless there is some strange clause in the lease agreement it is none of his business.

CailinDana · 05/12/2013 20:38

He's being quite petty but technically he has a point. Seeing as he pays the bills, you're offering your friend help that he has to pay for.

HairyPorter · 05/12/2013 20:39

I agree- your flat, you get to choose how much laundry and baths you have! (Unless it specifies otherwise in the tenancy). Provided its not a sublet (which it clearly isn't) he is bvvvu!

Original poster

buddyfingy · 05/12/2013 20:49

Cailin - I do see that he has a point but DP has offered to pay for the expense. We have told him that this is not a regular thing. Incidentally DF also knows the landlord and he was one of the people that offered 'just call me if you need anything'
It doesn't specify anything in the tenancy, no odd clauses or anything.

OP posts:

WooWooOwl · 05/12/2013 20:49

If you are paying rent that is supposed to cover two people's normal living costs including water, heating the water and electricity, but you are using it for four people, the you are taking the piss.

I'm all for helping out friends, but your friend isn't his friend, but he will be the one paying the extra.

You don't have the right to decide that he should let it go because you've offered the money, that isn't your choice to make.

Where your landlord does sound like he has a screw loose is by expecting you to live in practically freezing temperatures. The cost of fuel has gone up horrendously for all of us, but he should charge enough rent to cover your heating instead of expecting you to be constantly cold.

expatinscotland · 05/12/2013 20:52

I would move.

Pobblewhohasnotoes · 05/12/2013 20:54

If the rent he is charging doesnt cover a reasonable amount of water and heating then it's his problem, he should just charge rent and you pay the bills then.

LineRunner · 05/12/2013 20:55

I've never known a rent be 'all in' before.

I've rented many flats and been in house-shares over the years and we have always had to be responsible for gas and electricity bills.

Are you really happy with this arrangement? Wouldn't you be better with the bills in your names?

conclusionjumper · 05/12/2013 20:56

Check your contract and if there's nothing about your heating costs etc. then you do not have to adhere to his demands which sounds utterly ridiculous. He asked you to turn your heating down to 5 degrees!

He offered you an all-inclusive rent, so he should have specified the terms in the contract if he wanted to impose them.

Of course it would be different if you were running a company of something.

Hissy · 05/12/2013 20:59

Ignore him. Do what you want. All in is all in.

You are not taking the mickey!

If you had family to stay, would he tell them not to bath? Or wash their clothes?

His fault he's not split the power/heat/water.

All in rental does exist, usually in cities/this type of accommodation.

TempusFuckit · 05/12/2013 20:59

He may have a teeny tiny point about the friend, albeit a heartless one. I'm a landlord and although bills aren't included, I wouldn't mind that at all.

He is completely taking the piss with the 5 degree thing. Tell him if he's going to be like this, you're going to exercise the contractual right to have your heating at whatever temperature you want.

Shenanagins · 05/12/2013 21:01

The landlord has taken the risk by offering "all in" as there is nothing to stop the tenants having full baths every night and washing every article of clothing individually. It is none of their business.

Original poster

buddyfingy · 05/12/2013 21:01

Expat if only! It is such a perfect flat in every way, just such a shame that the landlord is a bit of a funny stick, when we moved in their were bars on every window and the landlord insisted on a fire extinguisher in every room! Whilst I can't argue that fire extinguishers are not unreasonable to have he keeps buying us new ones! We have about 6 now!
Woo - the landlord is a friend of my DF and also DP has offered to pay him for the expense of water, heating that was used which he has declined.

OP posts:

MintyChops · 05/12/2013 21:02

I think WooWoo has summed it up perfectly. YABU to expect him to basically pay for you to help your friend out; HIBU to dictate how warm (or indeed damn cold) the flat is to be. Sounds like the rent isn't covering the mortgage plus bills and he is feeling the pinch.

paxtecum · 05/12/2013 21:07

Buddy: Have the bars on the windows been taken off?
I really wouldn't want to live in a flat that I couldn't escape from if there was a fire.

Original poster

buddyfingy · 05/12/2013 21:08

LineRunner - it's all in because he owns the shop below and it all goes off the same meter or something like that. We have said we would be happy to take charge of gas and electricity but apparently it would cost him a lot to get it all split. I'm not very technical I'm sure you can tell!
Shenanigans - that is the point DP is going to make tomorrow and was initially my point.
Thank you all, I do appreciate good old impartial advice!

OP posts:

Original poster

buddyfingy · 05/12/2013 21:11

Pax - yes they have thank god, they were the very first things to go! This place was in a right old state when we moved in, we have both (DP more than me!) spent a lot of time painting, fixing and generally making the place livable as the previous tenant did not give a shit. The ceiling was a lovely tar yellow from all of the ciggies that had been smoked over the years!

OP posts:

Original poster

buddyfingy · 05/12/2013 21:13

Thank you for responding Minty, we will offer again tomorrow to compensate him for the water and electricity used and hopefully clear that up!

OP posts:

paxtecum · 05/12/2013 21:13

Buddy: are you allowed to have overnight vistors in the flat?
Visitors who may use hot water!

Maybe he counts how many times you flush the loo too.
He's being mean.

He'd probably be happy if he had stinky people in the flat as they'd be using less bath water and washing clothes less.

He doesn't want the additional expense of metering the flat seperately to his shop, but is being mean and unreasonable.

rallytog1 · 05/12/2013 21:14

If the utilities to the shop and flat are running off the same meter if be concerned about whether the flat is actually legal, eg whether planning permission was granted for a dwelling over the shop. Your flat should really have separate meters to a commercial premises.

paxtecum · 05/12/2013 21:15

Cross post - he probably was happier with the previous stinky tennants.

specialsubject · 05/12/2013 21:15

this is why it is bonkers to include the bill in the rent.

BTW OP: gas safety cert? deposit protected?

paxtecum · 05/12/2013 21:16

Do you pay him by DD or does he prefer cash?

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