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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Is it me or the landlord?

106 replies

buddyfingy · 05/12/2013 20:29

This is my first thread on aibu, please don't flame me too much!
My DP and I currently rent a one bed flat above a shop. The landlord has his office in the shop so is there a lot, we see him often and do have a generally good relationship (despite him asking us to have the heating at 5 degrees constantly in the winter Hmm
This week has been a rather difficult one for a DF of mine. Her boiler has broken with a massive delay on the new parts being installed, her DS was rushed off to hospital in an ambulance with difficulty breathing and has been very poorly, her long lived washing machine has died and her husband was assaulted and needed surgery on a badly broken arm. She has had a dreadful time in short. I offered to help in anyway I could so took home washing to do for her and also let her pop by a few mornings to use the bath for her and her son.
My DP received a text this afternoon from the landlord saying that he doesn't want her doing washing and using the bath and that it is costing him money with her doing that. Fair enough, the rent that we pay is 'all in' but after speaking with him today I cannot understand how he doesn't see it as helping out a friend in need, it is not a regular occurrence and DP has offered to pay him £10 or however much 3 baths and 2 washes. I finished the conversation by saying that I hope if he ever finds himself in a difficult situation that his friends would always support him and not turn him away, which is what he is essentially asking. How could anyone deny a friend with a two year old child basic help like clean clothes and a hot bath?
AIBU and sorry if this is a bit long! Don't want to drop feed.

OP posts:
mummytowillow · 05/12/2013 21:16

How does he know it's her washing and that she's bathing at yours?

Do you not have a separate entrance?

WooWooOwl · 05/12/2013 21:16

Leaving aside the bizarre request about having your heating at 5 degrees, because it appears to be resolved and not the thing you are mainly posting about, it doesn't matter that your DH has offered to pay extra. The landlord has the right to accept or refuse the offer. It's not up to you or your DH to decide that if he doesn't take the extra money then he's being unreasonable. It's entirely his choice.

The fact that he is a friend of your friend doesn't make a difference either tbh. He isn't obliged to help her as part of a pre existing contract he already has. Again, it's entirely his choice.

Your contract and the rent you pay will be based on two people using the flat. Two people's need for a bath or a shower. Two people's laundry. Not four people's need for a bath and not four or five people's laundry.

Original poster
buddyfingy · 05/12/2013 21:17

Pax there is nothing in our contract to say we can't have visitors but we haven't yet anyway.

OP posts:
Original poster
buddyfingy · 05/12/2013 21:22

There are two entrances but I don't know how he actually found out. He prefers cash, but it is receipted. It has been a residential flat for years, we pay council tax etc.

OP posts:
Original poster
buddyfingy · 05/12/2013 21:23

Yes to both Special.

OP posts:
LineRunner · 05/12/2013 21:24

Has it got planning permission as a residential dwelling?

paxtecum · 05/12/2013 21:24

Woo: Some people bath and shower twice a day and some once a week or less.
Some people wear the same clothes for days, thereby reducing the amount of washing.
Some people have clean bath towels everyday and some don't.
Basically two people could have 14 plus loads of washing and drying each week or just one.

LineRunner · 05/12/2013 21:26

OP Get a tumble dryer delivered ostentatiously.

whois · 05/12/2013 21:27

The land lord is being a total cunt. You pay an all in price (which is reasonably common) and you get to decide how hot you want it, how much you wash and how much you shower. And that includes helping a friend out on a temporary basis.

LessMissAbs · 05/12/2013 21:27

Its not his friend, though, she's yours.

Did your DP offer to pay before or after he spoke to you about it?

I suspect you are technically in breach of your tenancy agreement, because it will names you and DP as tenants.

Its not the usual type of tenancy because its all inclusive so yes I think YABU.

WooWooOwl · 05/12/2013 21:27

Yes, some people do. And it would be unfortunate for the guy that is trying to make a living out of a shop and the flat above it if he was unlucky and got tenants like that.

But that isn't what is happening here, so it's irrelevant.

paxtecum · 05/12/2013 21:29

He could still not be declaring it as income.
LA Council tax dept won't be linked with Inland revenue.
Also OP and DPs pay council tax in their names, not the LL.

I bet he's not declaring it on his tax return.

whois · 05/12/2013 21:29

WooWooOwl don't be such a jobs worth. sits a temporary thing! They could have visitors to stay for the weekend, or the OP could take up running and generate an additional load every day if smelly running kit or something! The lankrd is being unreasonable, clearly.

It's not like the OP has got the heating set to 25 and the window open cos she likes fresh air...

whois · 05/12/2013 21:30

I suspect you are technically in breach of your tenancy agreement, because it will names you and DP as tenants

Don't be daft. No where in any normal agreement will it say you are forbidden from letting a friend have a shower.

conclusionjumper · 05/12/2013 21:30

Woo the rent is based on the rental of the flat, subject to the terms and conditions of the contract which will probably state they're not allowed to move more people in, etc. but it doesn't preclude them having visitors who bath and use the facilities as normal visitors do.

QuintessentialShadows · 05/12/2013 21:30

You seriously cant have the heating at 5 degrees. Put it back up to 19.

paxtecum · 05/12/2013 21:33

Miss Abs: how can OP be in breach of her tenancy by letting someone have a bath.
Would she be in breach of her tenancy by letting someone poo in the toilet ohhhh and then flush it away using water.

It is odd that there are such diverse opinions over this.
The LL should get the flat metered seperately and then he can stop stressing.
He is a knob.

HairyPorter · 05/12/2013 21:33

Eh? How is the op bu?? What if she had visitors? If the ll is a cheapskate who doesn't want to pay more to split the electrics, he's got to accept the risk that some tenants may use more than others! The current set up is not dissimilar to having a visitor stay, and unless it states otherwise in tenancy the op is being reasonable!

solveproblem · 05/12/2013 21:34

Are you allowed to make visitors tea or is it too expensive to boil the extra water in the kettle?

The LL sounds like an idiot, if you're renting the it's your home in which you've got the right to live a normal life.

Helping out a friend temporarily sounds normal to me.

Even if the tenancy agreement states two people this would in no way breach your tenancy agreement, she hasn't moved in.

HairyPorter · 05/12/2013 21:34

Grin x post with lots!

jammiedonut · 05/12/2013 21:35

What a Scrooge. Just lie and say you skipped a bath on the days they used it. Unless your contract states how much electricity/gas is to be used, then he can't tell you what to use. If he is really unhappy he can give notice and raise the rent.
I lived in accommodation like this at uni, ll would do all manner of things to avoid heating our freezing house, including hiding the instruction manual for the boiler and thermostat. We just went out and bought heaters and electric blankets and hid them when he was around! Not helpful to you though.

WooWooOwl · 05/12/2013 21:37

Maybe he gets those points, and that's why he hasn't accepted money from the OPs DP, but he just wants to make it clear that it can't go on. Maybe it's because he knows the friend that he's worried it could go on for a while.

We are all feeling the pinch with bills for the essentials at the moment, this guy is unlikely to be any different just because we know he owns a small business.

ShinyBlackNose · 05/12/2013 21:38

I'm really surprised that the landlord of a legally rented flat has any right to dictate how his tenants live their lives, or who they have in their flat, or what they do in the flat. I don't see how it's your problem if he has underestimated the rent he needs to charge you. Surely he will just have to renegotiate it when your agreement gets re-newed?

Original poster
buddyfingy · 05/12/2013 21:39

LineRunner - it didn't have planning when it was converted but has been put forward as a flat above shop and is now legally a flat. This all went through the council when we moved in so they are aware of, council tax etc all sorted by us.
Less - yes DP did mention she was using before the text which came today and the landlord was fine and then offered to pay in response to this text. We have made it clear that this isn't a situation likely to arise again, apologised and offered to pay which he still isn't happy with! Can't win!

OP posts:
paxtecum · 05/12/2013 21:41

OP: In your next conversation with the LL ask him for his bank details so you can set up a DD for the rent.
His reaction may be interesting!

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