To Think My Ex's Alpha Church 'mates' Overstepped The Mark?

[absoluteidiot]

Here's the scenario. My ex convicted this summer, found guilty of harassing me. His two character witnesses (not allowed to take stand as he had a previous conviction for harassing another woman) were two very young looking 'men' from his church's Alpha Course.

The church were fully aware he was harassing me. He completed the Alpha course DURING the time he was harassing me so hasn't found god and been 'cured' since.

He was caught lying in court, where he pleaded Not Guilty. The two character witnesses heard all the proceedings which exposed ten years' worth of harassing women, and heard a District Judge pronounce him Guilty. They know what he did and that he lied in court, denying it.

Though found Guilty, at sentencing the Alpha males were allowed to be character witnesses which must have helped. He got a suspended sentence, and a leg tag, which was removed a few days ago. It had imposed a curfew on him, making it impossible for him to turn up here. Previously the judge had said it was at the severe end of harassment and the police had always felt so too. We were led to believe it would be a custodial sentence as it wasn't a first offence, and his first offence was also so bad he had a 5 mth sentence.

Now today, on FB, he has posted a picture of him, his vicar, the two character witness boys and their WAGs 'celebrating' (out for a meal in London, presumably celebrating removal of the leg tag).

Previously his Twitter Feed and FB has been full of supportive messages encouraging this woman harassing lunatic, from fellow Alpha course graduates.

Am I being unreasonable being incensed that these people are openly supporting a man who harassed women? And appear to be celebrating and congratulating him for getting away with it?

Write a letter of complaint to the vicar and his Bishop.

There are 4 areas of complaint about vicars and this falls squarely into this category - "engaging in conduct that is unbecoming or inappropriate to the office and work of the clergy"

This Christian bashing is unnecessary.
Your ex is VILE, his friends are VILE, you need help and protection from the bastard him, but there's no need for other posters to tar ALL Christians with the same brush.
Everyone is responsible for their own actions, be they Christian, atheist, Muslim, white, black, British, Australian, gay or straight. You get my point.
I really hope you get the support you needs from the courts, keep tracking where he is and stay safe.

Absolute your ex is being enabled by some dreadful people.

friday please stop this. There are plenty of good Christians out there, not all are dreadful.

bigfat up to a point I would agree with you. In normal life I am sure that is right.

But when Christian organisations supply character witnesses to a court of law, they are doing so on the understanding that that character witness means something more than a witness from a lay person- that the church has taken steps to ensure that the person is genuinely remorseful and, as far as anyone can tell, won't reoffend. That's why people bring Christian witnesses along - I don't mean witnesses who happen to follow a private faith, I mean witnesses who get extra credibility and respect because they publicly say to the court that they are Christian workers of some kind such as vicars.

Crunches need to be very very careful how they use this privilege if they don't want it taken away. And although I would not use some of the language others have us here, I do think there can be a certain closing of ranks to protect the acolyte against the heathen enemy.

Crunches= churches...

Compare and contrast:

There are plenty of good Christians out there, not all are dreadful.

with

Previously his Twitter Feed and FB has been full of supportive messages encouraging this woman harassing lunatic, from fellow Alpha course graduates.

I bet there hasn't been a single contrary comment. They stick together.

You seem confused friday you see some Christians study the alpha course however not all those who study the alpha course are Christian.

OP hopefully you can get through this at least he was rightfully convicted in court, just keep track on things so you can do what you need to do to keep you and your family safe.

Friday I completely disagree.
The church I used to attend did NOT support people who did things like this. Issues were addressed, people were helped and counselled but the church did not condone this sort of behaviour (obviously!!)
You are making many sweeping comments.
Would you swap the word "Christian"' in your posts with "black", "white", "gay" or "straight"?
I doubt it, because then you would be accused of racism or sexism. So why is it ok for you to make such derogatory remarks about a religious group?

Not all churches that run Alpha are con-evo either.

I'm a christian and I must say I find this all highly dodgy. A court shouldn't give someone a more lenient sentence just because they have conveniently "found God". No judge should be that naive. Its the easiest thing in the world to pretend. Yes churches should let offenders in and forgive, just as society lets offenders rehabilitate but with caution in case they are a danger.

Secondly are you really worried about him doing something to you? Perhaps someone on here can give advice.

BigFatGoalie with "issues like this" should the church's first thoughts not be towards the police / other authorities and looking out for the victim/s? Rather than providing help and counselling for the perpetrator?

And to drag sexism into a whine about Christians being criticised is just laughable. The CofE was asked to vote last year on whether women should be allowed to do the big jobs, or should content themselves with just the little ones. That vote was defeated, and women still cannot be bishops in the CofE. And Christians have the sheer gall to go "oh, you wouldn't say that about women, would you?"

And I don't know much about the alpha course but I do know quite a few evangelical types and also there is a more extreme christian sect in these parts and I find their views and approach to life concerning and offensive.

Would the people I know support a man accused of behaving badly towards a woman? Absolutely yes because men are the head of the household and women should toe the line. That is their belief system, foolish to pretend otherwise. Similar belief systems in branches of all mainstream religions. It's not a "Christian" thing, it's a "religion" thing.

Well and of course there are people who hold these beliefs and are not religious. Still the religion provides justification, numbers, support in behaving this way etc.

and for the second time today:

religious persecution is now acceptable is it?

I didn't bring sexism into it to defend Christianity. I brought it in to demonstrate that you cannot making generalisations about ANYONE, regardless of their race, religious affiliation or sexual preference. You are aware that COE does not represent ALL Christians and ALL denominations right?
This is actually getting off track, it's not about you and I disagreeing.
OP, thinking of you and hope you're ok

How is pointing out that some branches of many religions are deeply unpleasant by any sane standards "religious persecution"?

How ridiculous.

religious persecution is now acceptable is it?

Christians in the UK are not persecuted. For example, Christians are not finding themselves turned away from bed and breakfast establishments for being Christian. No-one is fighting legal actions all the way to the Supreme Court in order to demand the right to turn away Christians.

Op if you are worried please start another thread about how you can get protection from your ex leaving out the debate part.

I don't even equate alpha course idiots with being Christians. In my unfortunate experience with them, they're a bunch of nasty, spiteful judgmental, despicable assholes. Just one step away from westboro.

They do all stick together.

In my unfortunate experience with them, they're a bunch of nasty, spiteful judgmental, despicable assholes.

There are 19 Alpha groups within 2.5 miles of my house (source: www.alpha.org/try).

When I did Alpha, there was a lot of fascination about big, dramatic conversion stories. The shittier the person's life/behaviour had been pre-conversion, the better the story and the more it got passed around. "Stanley So-and-so was a homeless heroin addict who cheated on his wife and neglected his children and stole from his friends, until he found Jesus and now he's a changed man!"

But, most people's lives aren't actually like that. So I would guess your ex's friends are just so carried away at the thought of knowing someone they can apply this to that they're willing to buy any bullshit he spouts about seeing the light now, even if he's not made any actual effort to reform or make amends other than saying one of Alpha's fill-your-name-and-sins-in-here prayers. It's not the harasser they're supporting, it's the changed man they think he's become. Hearing all the details in court? Well, that just makes the story even better, because look how terrible he was before God turned his life around!

(I am a Christian but didn't like Alpha much, and this macabre fascination with big bad conversion stories was one of the reasons why. My abusive ex, OTOH, loved it to pieces and is still very involved in the evangelical wing of the church that puts a lot of emphasis on Alpha. A while back they were even letting him run seminars on relationships because after all he's learned so much from his past mistakes... ugh.)

Block your ex on FB and Twitter if you can. You don't need any more of this in your life.

Wow.

Where do you live? (If it's not too identifying).

We're in NW London and seem to do very well for all sorts of religious extremism.