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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To make snowman soup for all the kids

165 replies

Mummytotwox · 02/12/2013 21:54

In dds class and her teachers? Think there's about 30 all together.

Really fancy doing it. I can get the stuff from £1 shops.

D you think this would be daft? And what would you think if your child received it from another child?
this

OP posts:
SaucyJack · 03/12/2013 09:59

saucyjack the thing is, children have to learn sometimes that they can't all have the same all the time.

Says who?! In my house we don't sit and eat sweets in front of each other actually and we're all a lot happier for it. I would not like it if DP came home with a box of Maltesers and refused to share cos they were "his", and it's no different for the kids.

We run a very egalitarian ship here.

Hasta la victoria siempre!

Mumsyblouse · 03/12/2013 10:04

Mine share everything- even a small chew gets divided in half. They decided long ago that pooling everything was the best way- more opportunities to get a small amount.

OP, I think this is a lovely thing, and if you were happy to just do this for the fun of it, then that's really kind. I wouldn't be happy if there was some type of expectation around everyone doing class presents for each individual child as I find that completely excessive. So, as a one off, given with no expectation of return, lovely- but in general I don't think ramping up present giving is the way to go.

SoupDragon · 03/12/2013 10:13

In my house we don't sit and eat sweets in front of each other actually

We don't in mine either as that would be mean. However, that doesn't mean we all have to have a treat when one has been given a gift - that would be odd. All the children manage perfectly well when one of the others has a party bag, gift from a friend or Shock birthday presents. I simply ensure that they a) don't flaunt it or tease their siblings and b) remind the others that it all evens out in the end.

tinselkitty · 03/12/2013 10:18

Um...stealing this idea for the kids in my class! What a lovely, cheap gift.

Where do you get the bags though?

ICameOnTheJitney · 03/12/2013 10:22

Saucy There's no need to "sit and eat sweets in front of each other" if you bloody share them is there! What an odd mindset you have.

newestbridearound · 03/12/2013 10:25

I think it's a really nice idea- I went to a Christmas get together last year and someone had made them as gifts for us. I loved it and I'm 26 Grin

stealthsquiggle · 03/12/2013 10:26

SaucyJack - sorry, but I think that's thoroughly weird too. My DC will sometimes share, unless it is (for instance) a single sweet in which case it's no big deal, although I won't force them to. Whingeing would not be tolerated, though. What do you do about party bags Confused? When are you going to stop the balancing it out - because their lives are going to become more separate and they will have different things at different times as they get older.

Xochiquetzal · 03/12/2013 10:27

OP that's fantastic, my DC would love something like that. Hope you don't mind but I am pinching the idea to go in Christmas Eve boxes.

Mumsyblouse · 03/12/2013 10:32

stealth- mine share party bags but this was their decision, not mine- and it is not entirely altruistic, it's so that every time there's a party bag, they both get some things, same with sweeties at school and so on.

But presents are not shared like this.

Woe betide the person who didn't offer around their sweeties or chocolate in our house! I couldn't enjoy my dairy milk bar if I didn't offer some to the kids, and they always offer some of theirs to me.

IamInvisible · 03/12/2013 10:36

Call me a cynical baggage, but a couple of weeks ago the OP had £1 to her name, no food or gas/electric and didn't know what to do. Then a few days later she said she was really skint and struggling to buy Christmas stuff for her kids. Surely she'd be better off saving her money?

Original poster
Mummytotwox · 03/12/2013 10:44

Iaminvisable.

Ohh thank you so much for your worry. Your too kind.

As with most people in this day and age I was having a bad time. Xmas pressies been paid for and brought, and my cupboards are full.

My husbands work had messed up a payment, which made us stuck.

I will spend my money how I want.

OP posts:
BrightestStarInTheSky · 03/12/2013 10:48

My DD will also share everything she brings out of school with DS. Even one sweet before, she broke it in half and gave him some.
I wouldn't be going to the shop to buy DS the same because of him winging!

IamInvisible · 03/12/2013 10:48

Well I am so glad you have had such a turn around in a week! Hmm

Sparklymommy · 03/12/2013 10:51

Saucyjack my children do not sit in front of each other eating sweets when the others don't have, they SHARE.

How do you cope on birthdays? Or are you one of these households that all have to have a gift on everyone's birthday? Hmm

In life things are not always fair. Sharing is a skill children need to learn and if you constantly even things up how are they meant to learn to share? Are you also a "everyone's an equal winner" at sports day?

Original poster
Mummytotwox · 03/12/2013 10:56

Actually it's been nearly a month.Hmm

OP posts:
SoupDragon · 03/12/2013 10:57

IamInvisible you're cynical baggage.

Well, you did ask Wink

IamInvisible · 03/12/2013 10:58

It was last Monday that you posted that you were really skint and struggling to buy Christmas presents for your DC!

Original poster
Mummytotwox · 03/12/2013 11:00

Funny that because iv just brought them a hudl and a furby each, and finished Xmas shopping. Not that it has ANYTHING to do with you my finances.

OP posts:
BaldricksTurnip · 03/12/2013 11:00

Why has this thread turned into a parenting competition? People do what they will, if divvying up things equally works for you and yours then great. If letting one child have something the others don't works for you then great. Nobody is ever universally 'right'. We are all individuals with different ways of doing things and criticising each other is just.. well pointless and a bit nasty actually.

HoHolepew · 03/12/2013 11:05

tinselkittythe op did a link to the bags in a previous post. Think it was Amazon Smile

IamInvisible · 03/12/2013 11:06

So, what are you saying Mummy, that we can not believe a word you post?

All I am saying is if I had been in the situation you say you have been in, at any point this year, let alone 3 weeks ago, every spare penny would be put in a reserve account just incase it happened again. I would be too bloody scared of my DH's employer cocking up his wages again tbh, that I would not spend anything unless it was essential.

Original poster
Mummytotwox · 03/12/2013 11:11

Yes that's right, don't believe a word I say.

It's £10 FFS. Wasn't you taught if you have nothing nice to say don't say nothing at all.

OP posts:
SoupDragon · 03/12/2013 11:12

IamInvisible if you have any concerns, perhaps direct them towards MNHQ as per the talk guidelines.

Sparklymommy · 03/12/2013 11:17

It's a lovely idea op. in my experience, people that can afford to be generous often aren't and those that struggle are the ones that bend over backwards to do something nice regardless of whether or not they can really afford it.

My mum always says that's why some people are well off, because they are tight and don't spend money!

Sparklymommy · 03/12/2013 11:18

And as op says, it will probably cost a tenner, hardly a lot to make 30+ kids smile is it?