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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to change my DS's name?

149 replies

sandwichyear · 02/12/2013 18:36

My DS is 2 months old. We chose a name for him which is quite unusual, with a much more 'normal' middle name. The name we have chosen is long, hard to spell and only around 10 babies a year are given it in the UK. I had thought when we chose it that it was the kind of name that was unusual but 'known' if that makes sense, so that people might not know anyone called that but would have heard the name and would know how to pronounce it etc. It turns out that very very few people have even heard the name and every single time anyone asks us what it is, we have to explain it, spell it, discuss it etc. I am now thinking that this will be a huge burden for a young boy growing up, and that every time he says his name he will need to have a conversation about it. The middle name we have chosen is very very normal and there are likely to be a few in his class every year etc.

Should we start using his normal middle name instead or persevere with the unusual name? Would really welcome any insight from people who have grown up with a very unusual name, or used their middle name consistently (is this really annoying in terms of bureaucracy/ booking flights etc?) or anyone really with an opinion. I really like both names, so that isn't an issue. Or should we wait and let him choose himself when he's older.

Thanks very much.

PS I realise this is a first world problem etc etc.

OP posts:
bundaberg · 02/12/2013 18:37

what is the name?

Runswithsquirrels · 02/12/2013 18:38

Persevere - if everyone asks about the name it will be a social conversation opener for him and he'll probably end up with a nickname anyway.

SootikinAndSweep · 02/12/2013 18:39

He will just 'be' his name when it comes to pre school and school, I think people feel the need to discuss names when it's a little baby.

I would always go with the unusual.

Tell us what it is!

sandwichyear · 02/12/2013 18:39

I can't really say what the name is or it would definitely out me here. It's a long obscure biblical name. Middle name is Daniel.

OP posts:
Minnieisthedevilmouse · 02/12/2013 18:40

But to your son this will be normal? I'm a double barrel. I've enjoyed being different and able to alter as suits me. I wouldn't worry unless it's a bit fashionable or odd.

traininthedistance · 02/12/2013 18:40

I wouldn't worry too much - my name is very common with only one real spelling (think Jane, Sarah, Hannah type of thing) and people still ask me to spell it / I get cards etc with it spelt wrong! Stick with the name you love. All children go through a period of hating their names but he might really like a lovely, unusual name later. Can you shorten it or give him a more common nickname?

Minnieisthedevilmouse · 02/12/2013 18:41

Oh do let it be a champagne bottle name! :)

sandwichyear · 02/12/2013 18:41

What's a champagne bottle name??

OP posts:
emptychair · 02/12/2013 18:43

Definitely persevere! I love biblical names for boys. :)

namechange74 · 02/12/2013 18:43

Hi sandwich
I have a very unusual name, i have never met anyone with it in my life and i think i'd fall over if i did. I was ribbed for it at school and in my adult life people have, on occasion, told me i am pronouncing it incorrectly... (err i've had it for 39 years, i'm pretty confident i am aware of how to say it Grin)
That aside, i love my name and the fact that it's very unusual. However i do use my husband's name when ordering things such as takeaways for ease. (he has a name used for both sexes)
I would persevere if i were you, I wouldn't like to have a 'normal' name. HTH

SlimJimBra · 02/12/2013 18:46

Does his long name have a shortening you could use (maybe one that is more commonly a shortening of a different name?) does it have an 'Ed' or 'Sam' or 'Al' or similar shortening in it anywhere?

sandwichyear · 02/12/2013 18:50

it does have a short form, but the short form is also unusual- not hard to pronounce or spell, but not a name you hear a lot...

OP posts:
coppertop · 02/12/2013 18:54

If you still like the first name, I would keep using it.

So many children now have names with different spellings that it's usual now to be asked to confirm the spelling of even the most widely-used names.

goodtimesinbontemps · 02/12/2013 18:54

Is it something like Nebuchadnezzar or Methuselah Grin ? I like unusual and as someone else said it will become his name so if you still love it then leave it!

JamNan · 02/12/2013 18:55

'The name we have chosen is long, hard to spell and only around 10 babies a year are given it in the UK.'

FUXache why?

My old surname was just five letters and I had to tell everyone how to spell it and pronounce it every bleedin' day at school! I'm old now. I'll tell you now it was chore.

Pray what is your DS's name?

Felix90 · 02/12/2013 19:02

If you love the name, stick with it. I have a very unusual name and have also never met anyone with the same name and it's always mis-pronounced and I have to spell it out constantly but I really like being quite unique! I've found that it makes me more memorable (I even got a job interview once solely because the manager liked my name!). I'm sure it's something that can be shortened to a nickname if he has any problems with it growing up.

Same as PP though, I always have to use OH's name for takeaways etc as it's too complicated. Also found a lot of people are shocked that I'm totally English and not exotic at all when they meet me...

zoodle · 02/12/2013 19:02

I have an unusual name. No one can spell it or can pronounce it correctly the first time, but they get used to it. I like being different.

It is always the first thing anyone I meet wants to discuss, but I'm shy and it's nice to have a warmup conversation at interviews, parties, etc that I'm well practised at!

A handful of people never learn to say it correctly, others never spell it right, and this used to annoy me. However I've talked to others and this happens with all names.

I'd say go with your choice. Everyone will get used to it and it will become him.

nextphase · 02/12/2013 19:04

I'm known as my middle name.I always have been.
The only time its slightly confusing is when someone new at work needs to book my flights - they claim I don't have a traveller profile.
Or at the Dr/Dentist when they call out my proper name, and I sit there thinking "who's that prat who doesn't know their name, Oh me, opps"

MrsTerryPratchett · 02/12/2013 19:05

Champagne bottle names. All awesome.

sandwichyear · 02/12/2013 19:05

ok, ok, I"ll reveal and then change my name forever after.

The name is Zephaniah, nn Zeph. Does this change anything?

OP posts:
bundaberg · 02/12/2013 19:07

i have a very, very, very normal and boring first name and equally normal surname

unfortunatley BOTH have 2 well known variations on spelling, so I've always had to spell it out to people.

so that side of it wouldn't bother me at all. DS1 is Linus and ppl were forever asking me where we got that name from when he was a baby, but I don't think I've been asked for years now! he's nearly 9.

it's nice to have an interesting name or story behind your name IMO

NoAddedSuga · 02/12/2013 19:07

I really like that

Definatley keep it

bundaberg · 02/12/2013 19:08

that's an awesome name! and Zeph is a great shortening. don't change it!

Sparrowghost · 02/12/2013 19:08

I'd change it. I know a girl who's name is long and obscure and shortens to something unusual but obviously short and she appears to be utterly fed up of explaining it/avoids it all together, despite being the sort of person who could carry the name off

poocatcherchampion · 02/12/2013 19:09

love that name!

you should keep it. Zeph is cool.