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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to change my DS's name?

149 replies

sandwichyear · 02/12/2013 18:36

My DS is 2 months old. We chose a name for him which is quite unusual, with a much more 'normal' middle name. The name we have chosen is long, hard to spell and only around 10 babies a year are given it in the UK. I had thought when we chose it that it was the kind of name that was unusual but 'known' if that makes sense, so that people might not know anyone called that but would have heard the name and would know how to pronounce it etc. It turns out that very very few people have even heard the name and every single time anyone asks us what it is, we have to explain it, spell it, discuss it etc. I am now thinking that this will be a huge burden for a young boy growing up, and that every time he says his name he will need to have a conversation about it. The middle name we have chosen is very very normal and there are likely to be a few in his class every year etc.

Should we start using his normal middle name instead or persevere with the unusual name? Would really welcome any insight from people who have grown up with a very unusual name, or used their middle name consistently (is this really annoying in terms of bureaucracy/ booking flights etc?) or anyone really with an opinion. I really like both names, so that isn't an issue. Or should we wait and let him choose himself when he's older.

Thanks very much.

PS I realise this is a first world problem etc etc.

OP posts:
CatAmongThePigeons · 02/12/2013 22:04

It is lovely! I too thought of the poet but Zeph is an achingly cool nickname, I love it

TeacupDrama · 02/12/2013 22:09

I knew it straight away as old testament minor prophet and knew how to spell it, but it will be fine minor prophets names are getting more popular quite a few of the following around joel, amos, jeremiah( jeremy) ezekiel and Malachi though have not heard of a habbukuk or nahum or haggai yet though

it is not difficult to pronounce or spell at all

my name is sarah I know some spell sara but have also got sahra as well

daisychain01 · 02/12/2013 22:09

Cool, I was thinking it was Zeph(aniah) Smile

Gorgeous name, will be v popular with the ladies!

MoominsYonisAreScary · 02/12/2013 22:14

Zeph is great? i say keep it

NorkyButNice · 02/12/2013 22:14

Love it!

I have a Nathaniel, various people think his name is Nathan, Thaniel, Daniel - all people who have known me for years yet seem incapable of either accepting or remembering his actual name.

So don't change it! There's no accounting for idiots out there...

kaymondo · 02/12/2013 22:28

Another vote for keep it! Great name - in fact I was squirrelling it away for hypothetical ds3 when I realised that it prob wouldn't be the best idea given that ds2 is Seth! Love it though!

However both my boys use their middle names day to day, as do DH, FIL and other men in the family as it's tradition. I specifically asked DH if he wanted to pass this down to our kids given the hassle/confusion caused and he was adamant that it hadn't been as issue for him and that actually he liked it as something unusual to tell people. The only issue I've had is sitting in waiting rooms not realising ds is being called as mentioned up thread!

PicardyThird · 02/12/2013 22:31

It's a great name, and it's definitely recognisable as a name, iyswim. Don't change it. :)

TheBigJessie · 02/12/2013 23:28

Now I know it's Zephaniah, I say don't change it!

It's a name I've heard before, quite apart from Benjamin Zephaniah, and it's in my nice and uncommon category. I like it!

And, having been cursed with a only-girl-registered-with-it-in-the-town kind of name (my poor mother thought she was doing me a favour, as she'd been a "Sarah-S. No not that one, the one in fifth year with brown hair") I am very sensitive to unusualness. If I like it, you're definitely sane!

AuditAngel · 02/12/2013 23:38

I have the less common pronunciation of an unusual name. I have a weird foreign surname (and husband)

DS has a foreign but pronounceable first name and a great foreign second name, Valentino, which is what we use.

We I'd think that if DS hated his first name, he could use the anglicised version Alex. He said "mummy, why wouldn't I love my name?"

AuditAngel · 02/12/2013 23:44

I have the less common pronunciation of an unusual name. I also have a weird foreign surname (thanks DH). I spend lot of time correcting it. But people often remember be, saying "you have the funny name..."

Original poster
sandwichyear · 03/12/2013 05:45

love these comments. Thanks so much everyone- especially love the idea of whoever said to print off the thread so he can see it in later life. Thanks again.

OP posts:
sashh · 03/12/2013 06:54

I grew up with a normal name but an unusual spelling, it drove me to a deed poll.

My problem was that everyone would start writing it out and I had to correct them.

Also as a kid I was desperate for something with my name on, a mug, door plaques, a pencil. That's not so much a problem now because you can easily have things made with a name on, but back in the dark ages we would go on holiday and my brother would always get something with his name.

OK I went to school with a few people with unusual, as in known but not necessarily in this country (Dymphna, Oona, Anthula, Sinead). Philomena thought she was a bit thick because it took her ages to learn how to write her name compared to the Marys and Johns. But a film has just come out with that name so it will be familiar to many more people now.

OK now the positives.

Children don't know what names are unusual and what are not they encounter new names and just accept them. Teachers too. Your little boy is not going to be spelling his name to his peer group so I think if it is a problem it's going to be something he encounters as he grows up.

Recently I met a Brilliant, that's his name, Brilliant but he loves it because it is an ice breaker.

His name might become more popular. It only takes one famous person, real or imagined to popularise a name. JK Rowling put an explanation of how to pronounce 'Hermione' because she was asked about it so often.

If you are thinking of changing it try using both names together for a while.

GhettoPrincess001 · 03/12/2013 07:03

You said it's a biblical name. I've heard of the poet Benjamin Zephaniah. Have you ?

DeepPurple · 03/12/2013 07:07

Think it's lovely name!

FWIW I have the most boring and common name - Louise. Now that I live abroad I find roughly 1 in 10 people can pronounce it and roughly 1 in 20 people can spell it Hmm

I've got used to being Lewis, Louis, Louse, Louzel, Lezzel, Leasel etc Grin

nooka · 03/12/2013 07:26

I love Zephaniah too. We were going to call ds2 Ezra, I think there is a lot of potential in old Biblical names. When I was small I wanted to have a baby called Zachariah. Not sure why I'd forgotten all about it when my two were born :)

More on point I have a very unusual name and yes I always have to spell it and people ask about it and I use my dd's name instead at places like Starbucks, but I also love it and it means I am very memorable and very rarely have to use my surname. Which is all cool.

ds has an incredibly popular name in the UK (named after a Great king). where we live now people think it's a girl's name and spell it consistently wrong. So you can never tell can you!

teenybash7 · 03/12/2013 07:38

Love it! That makes 2 boys' names I like -your son's and my son's!
I do think poet first rather than bible tho!

FreelanceMama · 03/12/2013 08:00

I know someone with a son called Zephaniah (Zephy) maybe it's you ; )

I've never thought it v unusual, just distinctive.

And some v cool people have Zephaniah in their name.

MaireadnotMermaid · 03/12/2013 08:10

Guessing sashh is Orla spelled Orflaidth or summit

ZillionChocolate · 03/12/2013 08:24

A couple of people in my family are known by their middle names and find it a pita.

I thought it was going to be a stupid name, but I like it. Made me think of the poet. It sounds like the kind of name that might well shoot in popularity, so I hope you chose it because you like it, rather than to be unique.

JanePurdy · 03/12/2013 08:30

I know the name Zephaniah because of the poet. My iPhone just auto spelt it too Smile. I love it, stick with it. I know a wee Zephyr.

JanePurdy · 03/12/2013 08:32

Oh yes, & was going to say that DP is known by his middle name & finds it a real pain. Eg on the system at work he has to be on by his 'real' name so everything is logged under that name, it's a big organisation & people are always querying who this 'wrong name' is. Plus when we got married I had to make my vows to his unused first name, it felt fake!

heartisaspade · 03/12/2013 08:40

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BitOutOfPractice · 03/12/2013 08:43

I was all ready to be a hater but tbh I really like it. Keep it. The only one I know is Benjamin Zephaniah and he is fab!

attheendoftheday · 03/12/2013 08:51

I love the name and you should keep it! Zeph is a very cool shortening.

MrsPnut · 03/12/2013 08:54

I love the name, and one of our friends changed his name to that by deed poll as an adult.