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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to change my DS's name?

149 replies

sandwichyear · 02/12/2013 18:36

My DS is 2 months old. We chose a name for him which is quite unusual, with a much more 'normal' middle name. The name we have chosen is long, hard to spell and only around 10 babies a year are given it in the UK. I had thought when we chose it that it was the kind of name that was unusual but 'known' if that makes sense, so that people might not know anyone called that but would have heard the name and would know how to pronounce it etc. It turns out that very very few people have even heard the name and every single time anyone asks us what it is, we have to explain it, spell it, discuss it etc. I am now thinking that this will be a huge burden for a young boy growing up, and that every time he says his name he will need to have a conversation about it. The middle name we have chosen is very very normal and there are likely to be a few in his class every year etc.

Should we start using his normal middle name instead or persevere with the unusual name? Would really welcome any insight from people who have grown up with a very unusual name, or used their middle name consistently (is this really annoying in terms of bureaucracy/ booking flights etc?) or anyone really with an opinion. I really like both names, so that isn't an issue. Or should we wait and let him choose himself when he's older.

Thanks very much.

PS I realise this is a first world problem etc etc.

OP posts:
starlightloz · 03/12/2013 09:01

It's a lovely lovely lovely name!Abbreviation is good too. I know of a little boy with that name and always think how ace when his Mum says it. People get all names wrong regardless ao I definitely wouldn't change it for that reason. One of my boys is called Eli and even doctors call 'Ellie' in the waiting room and I have to begrudgingly stand up and query,'do you mean Eli?' making me feel very precious about his name but they potentially could mean someone else (a girl,look on his medical notes surely! ).

firesidechat · 03/12/2013 09:07

I'm a Christian and I've certainly heard of Zephaniah. I don't think it's that unusual and at least it's a "proper" name spelt the right way, rather than a made up one or deliberately misspelt. I like both the full name and the shortened version.

Children can be given perfectly boring names and still hate them. I don't like my full name at all and it's was a fairly normal name when I was born. I use the shortened version whenever I can. My grown up children are both very happy with their own names, despite the fact that they were very popular names at the time and seemed to be everywhere. Your son may love his name or hate it. There's really no way to know.

Everyone has to spell their names. When I got married I went from a surname that you always had to spell and that no one knew how to pronounce, to one that I thought was far more straight forward. I still have to spell it every time.

Beastofburden · 03/12/2013 09:09

I think that in the UK we are well used to saying names that we did not grow up hearing- never mind Zeph, there will be all kinds of Arabic and Polish names in any primary school, for instance. Perhaps you currently live somewhere a bit more, er, homogenous, culturally?

But I would say let him use Zeph when he is little. It's a bit much expecting a three year old to sign his pictures from nursery with the full deal Grin.

Beastofburden · 03/12/2013 09:11

By the way I also know a little boy called Nahum and he seems to be fine :)

tweetytwat · 03/12/2013 09:13

I thought it was going to be a dreadful nameGrin But it's brilliant
Not made up, an established but unusual name with a cool no . What's not to like? Don't change it, people will cope.
And I was blessed with both a first name and surname I spent my whole life spelling.

HSMMaCM · 03/12/2013 09:37

That's a great name

HeisenbergsHat · 03/12/2013 09:42

I know two Zephaniahs (one adult, one kid) - both known as Zeph, I don't think they have any particular trouble with people 'getting' their name and I think it's quite a cool name.

NoAddedSuga · 03/12/2013 09:42

Is it pronounced zeth anne E err?

callamia · 03/12/2013 09:50

Zeph is a brilliant and very cool name, and Zephaniah is beautiful.

He may have to explain it to some people, but I have to do that with our surname, and it's not the end of days.

gingerchick · 03/12/2013 09:55

I know two zephaniahs both under 11, both called zephie for short its lovely go for it

Mmmnotsure · 03/12/2013 10:00

NoAdded - Zeff-an-eye-err (or 'ah') (accent on third syllable)

Great name. I too immediately thought of the poet, then the Bible.

bonkersLFDT20 · 03/12/2013 10:01

You need some new friends! I have heard of it, know how to say it, know where it comes from and like it very much.

I immediately thought of Benjamin Zephaniah. Most people have heard of him, haven't they?

I really like Zeph ponders whether it's too late to change age 4 DS's name to Zeph

DonkeysDontRideBicycles · 03/12/2013 10:12

I guessed Zebedee. I only 'know' the poet everyone's mentioned but how interesting and I can picture it for a 5, 17 and 32 year old. I hope you feel reassured now and have the confidence to keep Zephaniah.

cuttingpicassostoenails · 03/12/2013 10:29

Beautiful name...keep it!

Beastofburden · 03/12/2013 10:59

Zebedee is hard for those of us who grew up with the magic roundabout. "Time for bed, Florence" is our earliest fnar fnar memory...

springfling · 03/12/2013 11:24

Keep it! I've heard of it! Zeph is cool. Although it's not common, it's not one of those that some people accuse of being a just a made up sound.

Curioustiger · 03/12/2013 11:30

Fantastic name. I love it. And he will be the only Z in his class (probably).

Cleorapter · 03/12/2013 11:41

Keep it! It's a gorgeous name.

I've grown up with an unusual name with an unusual spelling, yes, at times it can be a bit of a pain (spelling mistakes galore!) but most of the time it's the best icebreaker. Keep it Smile

squoosh · 03/12/2013 11:58

Keep it, it's ace! Zeph is a very cool nickname too.

Puremince · 03/12/2013 12:15

Another vote for keeping it. Lots of schoolchildren will have heard of Benjamin Zephaniah. It's "different" without being totally out there.

Also, lots of people check spellings etc when babies are new. I was surprised how many people's reaction to "Lucy" was to ask whether we were spelling it "Lucy" or "Lucie."

peppapigmustdie · 03/12/2013 13:18

I know a 10 year old Zephaniah he goes by Zephy.

chillykitty · 03/12/2013 13:39

Don't worry both my dds hv unusual names you would have heard of them
I luv the fact that they r unusual name they both hv two unusual middle names

SanityClause · 03/12/2013 13:42

FFS, Zephaniah?

What is wrong with people that they can't cope with that?

It's a lovely name. Stick to your guns!

greenfolder · 03/12/2013 13:52

I think its a great name-i would just say "like the poet". Re other kids-they will not bat an eyelid. There are a wide variety of names and spellings in schools now. I'd stick with it!

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