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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to not understand the hatred for the Jeremy Kyle show?

133 replies

ThereWasOnceAGirl · 01/12/2013 13:48

Lazy Sunday with a slight hangover and watched a couple of repeats.

I really don;t understand the criticism for the show. I mean you might not like Jeremy Kyle himself but the show?

No one is forced to go on and they seem to provide excellent aftercare for people. I saw one where a guy made the choice to go to rehab straight after the show (funded by them) and he came back on and had got his life back together.

OP posts:
AmberLeaf · 02/12/2013 10:49

Choice means options, choice means doing either a. b. or c.

You also need the ability to see which choices are wise and which are not.

I'm lucky, I grew up with two parents [although divorced] that loved me and cared about me, My Mum didn't have a string of unsuitable boyfriends trailing in and out of our home, my Dad didn't have any addiction issues, he worked, provided for me, took an interest in me and was present in a positive way throughout my life. My Mum knew the importance of making sure I had a good self image, she told me that she loved me, she showed me that I was worthy of love and how to have positive relationships.

Not everyone is as lucky.

Some people are shown a model of dysfunction from childhood.

How do you make good choices when you don't know what a good choice is?

It is very easy to pour scorn on those you consider beneath you, but if you have empathy, you can look at the background of such situations and see that some peoples lives are very different. Some people don't stand a chance.

angelos02 · 02/12/2013 10:52

Well hardly any of them are of any use to society - they just leech out of it so if they provide 30 minutes of 'entertainment', it isn't much to ask.

AmberLeaf · 02/12/2013 10:57

Ah well, they make smug arseholes feel superior, so that's something.

handcream · 02/12/2013 11:06

If I make a mess of something at work - can I blame others, perhaps the fact I was brought up by a single parent and went to a rubbish school.

Maybe I slept with someone and used no protection, maybe I can choose to sleep with many and wonder when I get pregnant who the father is.

Really - we need to take responsibility for what we do in life. Otherwise there will be anachy...

Its nothing to do with feeling smug.

MinesAPintOfTea · 02/12/2013 11:15

One can make poor choices and still nee a victim. In this case they are a victim of a TV show which promises them help with their problems but instead increases resentment and anger based on poor science and offers little aftercare after using the realities of their lives as 'entertainment'.

I am all for the legal system punishing people appropriately for their crimes. I an not in favour of people being used by a big business in a way which damages lives for profit. Especially people who have disadvantages and no-one steering them towards a safer action.

SqueakyCleanLibertine · 02/12/2013 11:15

Oh Lord, isn't empathy a wonderful thing?

AmberLeaf · 02/12/2013 11:20

Isn't it just!

Empathy. Another thing my lovely parents made sure I had. Again, some are not so lucky.

handcream · 02/12/2013 11:40

They rarely seem to see what they are doing. Its often kids having kids with no thought to how they will bring them up and financially support them.

StepAwayFromTheEcclesCakes · 02/12/2013 11:52

why does he do the occasional sob story ones or the ones drawing attention to a particular disability or some such? is this to make him look more caring or something?

LimitedEditionLady · 02/12/2013 12:26

Not reading any other posts before I write this.
I really like Jeremy Kyle.I record it and watch it wgen Ive got time for myself.I have seen literally every episodes.And no I am not an unemployed dole dosser or whatever stereotype you want to give me.I think I enjoy it because I like real life stuff and Im interested in counselling and how they help people.I like it.

shrunkenhead · 02/12/2013 12:34

Thanks, handcream, at last someone else talking sense!

MinesAPintOfTea · 02/12/2013 14:05

Exactly handcream its kids having kids who don't know what they are doing. How is parading them on TV after playing games with them and encouraging divisions going to help with that? Its exploitive and unpleasant.

This does not mean I think that the people who go on JK are living the sorts of lives that anyone should emulate, but this isn't the answer. It may in fact even be part of the problem.

Heartbrokenmum73 · 02/12/2013 14:19

Some real idiots posting on here!

Maybe some of the people on this thread should be rounded up and have their lives ripped to shreds to 'entertain' the rest of us.

Try having some empathy ffs.

Or is that too much to manage?

LimitedEditionLady · 02/12/2013 15:06

People choose to go on because they want to.They do help people,if it was so shit it wouldnt exist anymore.If you dont want to watch it,dont watch it.If its so crap why have yoy watched it so much to apparently know so much about it?people arent idiots because they like something that you dont.I personally dont watch it to laugh at people,if you do then you are a bit of a loser.

Heartbrokenmum73 · 02/12/2013 15:09

I used to watch Jerry Springer and thought it was 'entertaining' and 'funny'.

But I was a teenager. Then I grew up and realised what empathy was and stopped looking down my nose at those less fortunate than me for amusement.

Seems like some people are a bit stunted emotionally Hmm

Heartbrokenmum73 · 02/12/2013 15:11

,if it was so shit it wouldnt exist anymore

What kind of argument is this?

I'd say, if you gain so much pleasure from a show that exists solely to belittle people and bait them into attacking one another for the amusement of the masses then why do you feel the need to justify yourself?

Unless you're feeling a tad guilty maybe...

LimitedEditionLady · 02/12/2013 15:14

Its not flipping hunger games,they ring up TO GO ON THE SHOW BECAUSE THEY WANT THEIR HELP.Noone drags them there,its not like jury duty they choose to ring,they arent head hunted to appear on it.

valiumredhead · 02/12/2013 15:16

The funniest TV moment ever was when a guest threw something at JK , surprised it doesn't happen more often, he is SO shouty!!

LimitedEditionLady · 02/12/2013 15:17

I dont feel the need to justify myself?Justify myself for watching at show on at half nine in the morning about people wanting help?Erm no,I guess what Im saying is that people seem to get a bit over excited about it.You dont like it,dont watch it.aif it wasnt acceptable viewing,it wouldnt be on,people would complain and it would be axed,it wouldnt be on at half none daily if it was shit.

LimitedEditionLady · 02/12/2013 15:18

Sorry for errors typing,my phone is a bit broke Grin

MrsBungleScare · 02/12/2013 15:26

My uncle certainly was "head-hunted" to go on the show - from the court pages of the local paper!!! Thank god, he said no but they phoned him many times trying to get him on and offering him money.

LimitedEditionLady · 02/12/2013 15:29

You claim the show is to solely belittle people and bait them into attacking each other. I find that a big part of the show is DNA testing, lie detectors and rehabilitation. Can you not see how valuable that is? A family who need a DNA test and cannot afford it can go to them, they have solved feuds with the lie detector tests, they have found lost family members for people and given people second chances with rehabilitation. So yes I can accept that some people go on that show and bring embarassing stories and make fools of themselves but that is their choice to do so is it not? I don't feel guilty for watching a TV show, why would I? It is not me on it, I was trying to say yes they do help people and that help is invaluable in some situations. If people didn't like the show it wouldn't have so many viewers, fact of the matter is they obviously do because it does.

LimitedEditionLady · 02/12/2013 15:31

Thats interesting Mrsbunglescare, so maybe sometimes they do? I ahve seen a few episodes featuring publicised stories that have been in the paper.

TheBigJessie · 02/12/2013 15:51

My mother wanted the family to go on there once due to our continued refusal to go along with her irrational behaviour. She is convinced Kyle would have taken her side, and made me understand her point of view, and so occasionally shouts abuse down the phone at me for how I've ruined our relationship by refusing to go on.

She'd have fit in well with the other guests. That is to say, she is an extremely vulnerable woman who had an abusive childhood, grew up to take refuge in alcohol, (and was abusive herself due in significant part to alcohol) and became an alcoholic, and has various mental issues, and has tried or feigned committing suicide dozens of time (she is sometimes under care of a CPN).

What my mother needs is sectioning for months at a time, so she can dry out totally, talking therapy every day, and 24 hour monitoring from on-site psychiatrists to monitor how effective her medication is, and what its side-effects are.

A small segment on a show like Jeremy Kyle would, at very best, support her delusions that she's in the right. As she's not, relationships with the family won't be repaired; they'll be worsened. At worst, it would have made her suicidal. Again.

As yet, she has nevet been sectioned, because she doesn't pose a risk to anyone else (since I had the sense to leave home Grin ), and her suicide attempts are evidently attempts. But the ability to make true valid choices is a scale, not yes/no. She may "choose to ring", but she's basically operating at the level of a hormonal 14 year old most of the time.

So, yes, Jeremy Kyle is exploitive. You're watching people like my mother. Whether they voluntarily picked up the mobile phone or not.

LimitedEditionLady · 02/12/2013 15:56

Im very sorry to hear about your mother.Everybody is not the same though ,you cant say everybody who goes there is in that bad situation like unfortunately your mother is but I completely understand your point of view and why it is upsetting and i genuinely mean that.

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