AIBU to think that if DH and I can't agree on a name, I should get the casting vote?

[Sleepthief]

mostly lighthearted and definitely somewhat trivial, but I am willing to be told...

Nearly 34 weeks with DS4 and DH and I have entered into a stand-off over names (I like Ruari, he likes Eric). Neither of us actively dislikes the other's choice, but neither of us is willing to budge this far...

I think that as I am the one who has suffered the joys of pregnancy and is about to either push an 8lb+ baby out of my vagina or succumb to major abdominal surgery I get to be Len Goodman here and get the final say over the name.

His argument is that he has never got his first choice through to pole position (he has, however, agreed to all three DS's - lovely - names; and I have never been so dogmatic before although admittedly this may be because i haven't had to be) He also says that as he is planning a vasectomy to prevent any more such situations, this weighs the argument in his favour .

He has perhaps reasonably suggested that if we can't agree we should flip a coin... But I don't want to call my baby Eric throws toys out of pram and would rather start again from scratch.

So mumsnet jury, AIBU?

I have previously brought this up in baby names and the consensus was that my choice was both nicer and went better with our three existing (and mumsnet approved ) names.

[Cookethenook]

Sorry, ridiculous is the wrong word, 'unusual' then...

[ShinyBauble]

Are you actually in Ireland? Because Ruari will be a pain in the arse name anywhere else! And Eric is so 70s, like Jason, Gary and Brian; it belongs on a 40 year old man not a baby!

Seth and Eli (mentioned in this thread) are both really nice names, and would flow really well with the names of your other boys. I think Jamie would bookend Danny well too. You'll let us know your final decision won't you? And if you badly want Ruari, just ask him after you've given birth. If he says no, he's a pig and therefore doesn't deserve to choose the name anyway...

By the way, the OP would not be compromising by agreeing to his choice. Compromise is when both parties sacrifice a little to meet in the middle. Ruaric?

[SoupDragon]

Heaven knows how all those children with names from different cultures cope.

[toffeesponge]

I think I must be weird. My children have six names. I chose one, DS1 chose one, DH chose 4. I just don't understand the angst. We chose our names pretty quick as I felt you can just go over it too much and confuse yourself even more. Choosing names for our children wasn't the huge deal I thought it would be tbh. I still love all the names though DD wishes her first name was her middle and vice versa.

[ShinyBauble]

Was that a dig at me SoupDragon? A lot of names from different cultures are easy enough to spell.

I have the kind of name people often ask me to spell, and it can be annoying, I would have liked a name like Kate or Alice for simplicity.

[fifi669]

DP and I have debated names, I'm very set on one boys name, he's set on one girls. He likes mine but isn't won over, I can't stand his. He said we should agree that he names it if it's a girl, me if it's a boy. I've said there's no way I'm naming my child something I don't like just to be seen as fair! I've now threatened, regardless of sex to call the child Engelbert Humperdinck if we can't agree :)

[realblueprint]

You CANNOT have a Danny a Finn and a Kit and then lumber the last one with Eric. It's just plain cruel.

[realblueprint]

Speaking of Eric - does anyone remember playing Guess Who in the 1980s?

Poor Eric with his fair hair and his hat, he was always so easy to guess. You were screwed if you had Eric.

[Sleepthief]

I will of course come back and let you all know what gets decided. I'm thinking not enough boys/men are called Baby could this be the hormones?

We don't live in Ireland (although the boys and I spend a significant amount of time there), but we do live in an extremely multicultural area with all sorts of weird and wonderful names and spellings thereof. As a former teacher, each new year's class lists brought an added je ne sais quoi to lesson prep; of which the Ruaris of the world would be the least of it

Seriously, though, thanks everyone for the input. DH and I have almost agreed to shelve those two names (for now anyway) and look seriously at other options - Thor, anyone?

[sandfrog]

Thor is fab...

[squoosh]

Frankie Boyle's son is called Thor Boyle, which makes me think of someone with a lisp saying 'I have a thor boil on my botthom'.

[theoldtrout01876]

I didnt get to pick a single name for any of my 4 Dcs

Ds1 was named after his dad, ok very nice name but VERY common
Ds2 was named after his dads uncle. I REALLY didnt want to call him said name but all my choices were vetoed as being too British ( James and David ) Well Now I have the same too boys names as every Italian American family ever in the History of the world
Dd1 was named after my mother,which wasnt my first choice BUT was better than his mothers name and It had to be one of them
Dd2 well she was her dads first and only so I figured Id let him choose ( Thank fck she wasnt a boy cos NO WAY would I have gone with his choice :o )

I do like all their names though but not one of them is called something I wanted to call them

[Sleepthief]

Just to update...

DS4 arrived yesterday and is called Magnus, with the middle names of Ruari Eric (how's that for a compromise?

I actually prefer the order Magnus Eric Ruari, but DH and I agree the initials MERK may not be the best to see our little bruiser through life

[CheerfulYank]

Oh lovely! :) Welcome little Magnus, I love your name.

[YellowDinosaur]

Late to the thread but dh and I had this with ds2. we did rock paper scissors to decide after agreeing we could each live with the others choice but it wouldn't be our preference. he won (best of 3) and actually 6 years on and I love the name and it suits him perfectly

[IneedAwittierNickname]

Congratulations. I love the name :)

[ebwy]

Magnus is a great name. I wanted the Welsh version (Macsen) for my youngest ( after Magnus Maximus / Macsen Gwledig) but that was vetoed.

[FredFredGeorge]

110 posts debating on who was going to get the decision, and you bloody went and compromised YABU!

[mrspremise]

You could still use Jason the Egg as a nickname Congratulations, OP

[Joysmum]

Congratulations! Have a well earnt

Was secretly hoping you'd plump for Jason the egg and can't help being more than a little disappointed with your final tbh

[BlueStonesBells]

Congratulations!

And also, in principle I think that the mother should get casting vote - pregnancy and labour is bloody hard work (so I've heard). Ejaculation is not. This goes double if the child is to have the father's surname.

[poshfrock]

I've come a bit late to the party on this one but for what it's worth when DS's father was queuing at the registrar's office to register his birth there was couple in front of him who could not agree on a name. They were at the 1 year limit for choosing a name so had to agree on something there and then. The Registrar told them that if they could not agree then it is the father who gets the casting vote ( providing they are married - if not then the mother). Apparently this is some unrepealed Victorian law which allows the father to make the final decision. This was back in 1999 so don't know if things have changed now but one to think about.