What would you think of a woman who got married twice, both times 6/7 months pregnant, having already had 4 children with a previous partner?

[NotSureWhatToMakeOfItAll]

Both times to much younger men. A 20 year old the 1st time while woman was 26 and already had 4 DC, and a 24 year old when woman was 34 and now had 6 DC. It could be construed that the woman got pregnant to 'trap' these two men.

DC had no further contact with the first two fathers or fathers families (grandparents etc) due to hostility from the mother.

Would you regard this woman as not having made very good choices and being quite selfish in her needs? (1st 4 DC had 3 consecutive father's for instance).

Possibly someone who has kids/husbands to try and fill in a part of themselves they feel is missing and who has low self esteem. An Aunt on my Dad's side (don't have much contact with them) was in a very similar situation. Had lots of relationships with abusive men and lots of children.

But couldn't really say without knowing her personally.

Would you regard this woman as not having made very good choices and being quite selfish in her needs?

Yes

Id feel pissed off on her behalf that somw people would judge her, but nobody is judging her exes

'but nobody is judging her exes'

we haven't been asked about the exes.

So she had six children by five different men? Yes, optimist just about covers it!
I'd judge too; the kids having zero contact due to hostility from the mother is really shit.

I wouldn't think anything particularly about her. I'd be wondering what the fathers of these children were doing to support her and their children though.

yes

Which dc are you op... you're entitled to feel aggrieved if you've grown up not knowing your dad because of your mother's hostility.

'much younger men. A 20 year old the 1st time while woman was 26' and 'a 24 year old when woman was 34'

So a six-year and a ten-year age gap? Is that really 'much younger'?

And I wonder how many men have this many children or more by this many women or more?

Lots of double standards going on here and not a little bit of sexism. OP, if you had an unhappy upbringing I'm sorry for you, but I do not like the attitude your statements imply.

On the face of it I'd be strangled by my judgey pants being so high up. But, well, there's always two sides to a story, so I guess I'd like to hear hers too, before deciding.

I think it depends on the circumstances.

The men's ages/age difference is immaterial. Doesn't matter at all.

I would suspect that she/he never used contraceptives. Was desperate to get pregnant but didn't think too deeply about what any babies would be born into. Ie) long term relationship with commitment, secure etc.

I would wonder a little if her love life and home life was steady? However I am very certain she could still be a great mum and very loving to her children. I think she would be very time short with 6 children and would struggle to help with homework/reading etc. I would wonder if she was able to put positive boundaries in place for her kids.

There are more than 6 DC and no, maternal is not a word I would use to describe her. Home was not happy at all.

I think the more important question beer is what do you make of your mother OP? If she was a fantastic mum to you then it doesn't really make any difference what we think

Sorry x posted with you there

Not making good choices - yes

Selfish - would have to see her parenting

Do you get on with your siblings op?

I think you can make bad choices but still make things work well.

I am No 6 of 8.

I just found out that she was 6 months pregnant with my older brother when she married my father. She was in the same situation when she married my stepfather which I was already aware of. I am just flabbergasted she

OP sorry to hear your home life was not happy.
It sounds like your Mum was impulsive with her choices, which didn't always turn out well. Was she unhappy too?

oops.

I just found out that she was 6 months pregnant with my older brother when she married my father. She was in the same situation when she married my stepfather which I was already aware of. I am just flabbergasted she did the same thing twice.

She was very unhappy so I cannot understand why she carried on having more DCs!

OP do you have DCs now?

There is no such thing as 'getting pregnant to trap men'- if men don't want to get someone pregnant, they can use a condom or get a vasectomy, or not have sex with that person if it's a specific person they don't want to get pregnant. Easy.

6 years younger is not really a 'massive age difference', surely? How many women have partners 6 years older? I definitely do, and it doesn't seem to be unusual really. I think you may need to address your double standards. I'm sorry you don't have a good relationship with your mother, but I don't think her 'sexual morality' has anything to do with that.